


Consequences of the Heart

by loveKALE013



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Coming Out, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Gay, Gay Sex, Hogwarts, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Original Character(s), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:13:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 46
Words: 54,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28530507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveKALE013/pseuds/loveKALE013
Summary: "Don't tell me it's a sin to love him instead of her.Seriously, I mean look at him!"Basically your traditional Wizarding World Marauders Era love story between two couples with a few twists.Twists include lycanthropy, bicuriousity turned homosexuality, professions of love at the worst of times and a seemingly dire need to be right all the time.Anyway, enjoy!A love story between Sirius Black & Remus Lupin and James Potter & Lily Evans of.aka WOLFSTAR! AND JILY!Notes:- Furthermore, MOST of the characters in this book DO NOT belong to me. They belong to JK Rowling even though she's a b!tCh. If any of the characters are mine, I will mention it at the end of the chapter.Also, some of her characters, like Alice and Frank Longbottom are JK Rowling's, however I created their personalities but they are in no way mine!Love, K∆LE.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29





	1. Prologue.

**Author's Note:**

> Remus John Lupin,  
> The epitome of innocence in the eyes of his professors and even colleagues. Yet no better than the infamous James Potter but in fact just better at not getting caught. All the while being terribly insecure of his scars instigated by his nightmare of an experience every month. Fear plays a huge part in his life, not fear of others but of himself, an untamed monster. But that isn't the only secret he holds, what would happen when he is overcome with his "condition", while having to deal with his reckless friends and trying desperately keep his sexuality under the covers?
> 
> Sirius Orion Black,  
> Seemingly the complete opposite to Remus. Reckless bordering on stupidity and a clear Gryffindor. Or so it seems. See Sirius's optimism is simply a facade to the issues he carries due to the plain fact of his last name. Hell even his younger brother is slipping and in Sirius' eyes, ruining himself by hanging out with the "wrong crowd". His family hates him, his brother is all he has left but would they go that far so as to disown him? How will he overcome his family troubles and will he ever think to let his friends help him or try to solve his siriusly unminimalistic problems?  
> (apologies I couldn't help it with the pun)
> 
> James Fleamont Potter,  
> The man who adjusts his actions to the words, opinions and reasons of one person. More specifically Lily Evans. Someone who's admiration may come off as a temporary crush or teenage hormones but is truly sincere. His demeanor is no different than what's inside, playfulness, cheer and optimism. But would years of rejection wear him out finally, will he go strong or will he let his love overcome him to the point he can't see his friends suffering right in front of his eyes? Will he discover the difference between commitment and obsession?
> 
> Peter Pettigrew,  
> Upon meeting James on the Hogwarts Express, he held on and never let go. Like a leech, he followed into the same house, clearly not his destiny, simply to hang on to James for dear life. He's however not the odd one of the Marauders and not only agrees to what the others say, but will go out of his way to support them in their endeavors. But when the seemingly next and more powerful leader by ample comes along, will he stay 'loyal' or simply detach and follow the next best thing?
> 
> Lily Evans,  
> The only non-marauder but just as good if not better. She and Remus are inseparable. Yet to this day, she regrets agreeing to meet his new friends, especially one James Potter. Apart from, she gave herself permission to fix everyone's problems and the irritating part, it always works. Though a scholar and straight A student in most subjects, she deals with a lot more than it seems. How will she be able to deal with the endless proposals from James? But will her feelings towards James ease over time, or will she finally find a problem beyond even her knowledge?
> 
> Only time can tell...  
> ...and well time turners but I couldn't possibly afford one so deal with it.
> 
> PS. This was posted on Wattpad previously.
> 
> love, Kale.

_~LET'S GO~_

"Lily, wait up!" Honestly, how does this girl run so fast, she's legit eleven years old. Lily and I are best friends, we met in Muggle preschool because my Mum insisted I get a prior Muggle education which to be honest, helped me a lot but obviously I am never going to admit that to her, literally it will die with me....and Lily. Well to be fair I befriended her in kindergarten and never looked back, and never even thought to. It's actually surprising how fast we become friends, and now we basically know more about each other than we do about ourselves. Actually, that's kinda creepy and scary. Eh who are we kidding, if you ain't got a friend like that, you ain't living.

"No, just sprint or something!" She is going to kill me before I die, that makes zilch sense but still. I hurriedly followed her to the train as we lugged our trunks behind us. I caught up to her as we boarded and we made our way along the coach looking for an empty compartment to sit in. I'm glad she was with me, usually she spends all her time with Severus Snape but unfortunately, he had gone to join some other friends. He seemed really nice all the two times I made his acquaintance.

"Ah Evans, is it? I heard about you!" A boy in the compartment to our left spoke up abruptly not even bothering to look our way drawing our faces to his direction. He had overgrown, pale blonde hair, green rings littered his hand, I would vouch for the fact that his robes were lined with diamonds and it was clear he was not a first year. His compartment was filled with -not to be judgmental by basing my conclusion solely on their appearances- snobs. No wait, frigging rich snobs.

"Terribly sorry, but I have no idea who you are." She was being extremely polite to him, something I had never experienced, but he was giving me bad vibes, and he had a bad aura. Okay that may sound skeptical, maybe I've been watching too many Muggle TV shows with Mum but seriously, his bad energy was messing me up. I tugged on Lily's robes, implying that we should probably leave, and that's when I saw him, a boy sitting amongst the snobs, but not quite in the same spirit as them. He had long and well maintained black hair edging on scandalous and his impurity-less face was nothing short of breathtaking. He seemed out of place and looked like he'd be much more comfortable cooking in the fiery pits of hell. Anyway, I was looking at him in curiosity as to why he would willingly stay here when he is so clearly unfathomably uncomfortable. He looks up at me clearly sensing eyes on himself. His eyes are nothing short of beautiful. They were a stormy grey colour and had tints of teal and aquamarine in them, but they were drawn back, almost as if he were holding back tears and were seeking any kind of help they could get. 

"No of course you don't, well then you better hurry along, mudblood." He snarled and practically spat the last word. I was a half-blood and therefore knew what it meant but Lily wasn't as clueless, having spent far too much with my father and squared up, ready as hell to fight, wand drawn and all. Lily and I had studied quite a bit of magic so she was confident as always. The blonde wasn't exactly terrified, having drawn his own wand and anger strewn across his pale face bereft of any kind of impurities much like the punk rock angel's. I slowly lifted my arm and brought her's down hoping to calm her down a bit. Both wands went down as Lily calmed down a bit. Meanwhile, my attention turned back to the grey eyes staring at me while Lily and the blonde bitch were having a death glare off.

"Well Lily we better get on our way, oh also there's this guy in the last compartment looking for you, so you should probably come with us!" I am not the best in making up impromptu excuses but nevertheless, I worked on assumption and poor impulse and pulled the sad-looking pretty boy and before anyone in the snobbish compartment could even realize what was happening, he was out and halfway through the coach with me and Lily. It's not like they would have followed me, they looked like people who had servants to walk for them. That was a rude group of people, I thought I saw Severus sitting there but my eyes must've yet again deceived my humble self. Back to Lily, she was completely unfazed by fact that I had dragged a seemingly random guy from the compartment of snobs probably still seething from her encounter. I rushed a bit so I could walk alongside Lily while the hot stranger skipped rather happily behind but his eyes pointed toward the seemingly interesting floor.  
"So, who is he?" Her curiosity clearly got the better of her even though she was trying hard not to ask.

"No idea," I admitted honestly and straightforwardly. Her head turned to me ever so slightly, a mischievous glint in her sorta impressed eyes, an eyebrow raised in curiosity and a smirk on her face that could battle the smirk Gods(idk, I just view Apollo as a hot and sarcastic stud who loves music and art but then again I know nothing about Greek Gods so don't come at me). The reason for it was of course my sexuality. I've known I was bisexual for barely a couple months when I actually learnt that they existed, but Lily is the only person who knows. It's not that I'm ashamed and don't accept myself but I will say I didn't want to tell my parents yet because of my lycanthropy. See the situation is, my parents despised werewolves before I was bitten, to the point where it came up in any or rather all conversations. But when I was bitten, things changed. They stopped hating them because of it and we loved each other but things were never the same again. We would constantly find ourselves getting caught in prolonged and overly awkward silences until one of us had an 'epiphany' and abruptly left the awkwardness of the room. For my Dad, it was the worst, having working at the Ministry in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and having a very strong opinion about werewolves particularly describing them as 'soulless, evil and deserving of nothing but death' I believe is the phrase he used, while my Mom had a reduced insight, you know being Muggle and all. Anyway, with all I made them go through, I just didn't want to put them through anything else with my sexuality though they haven't made any prior comments concerning homophobia. I basically just thought I would play it safe at least until I grew the balls to come out.

"Hey, you okay? I'm Remus." I questioned holding my hand out behind me while Lily, being the little minx she is, was giggling not-so silently next to me. We had very mature thoughts and emotions for eleven year olds.

"Sirius." That was all he said before staring at the floor intently again and following us silently. Of course I spent the rest of the train journey thinking about beautiful name which seems kinda stalkish now that I think about it but whatevs I just saved this guy, I have a stalk pass. I have always loved astronomy, it intrigued me and when I was nine, my Mum gave me my first telescope, named Hercules, after the constellation and the Disney movie, no not the actual God, just the movie. Hercules, of course, was sitting quite happily in my trunk as of this instant.

"Yo! Rem?" I was pulled back from my ever so perfect daze by the vigorous movement of Lily's forearm in front of my day-dreaming complexion. I mumbled a quick 'yeah' to cover up for my incompetence. She looked kinda dishevelled and a bit embarrassed, she was trying to say something but couldn't seem to get it out. Finally, she looked down, avoiding my line of sight and spoke. "Well, when you were at the-"

"You met some friends, I believe you're forgetting, I know everything." She looked at me giving me a contentful smirk before pecking me on the cheek, muttering a few million 'thank you's and sauntering off to another compartment. Meanwhile, we were almost at the end of the train. Finally, nearing the very end of the train, we found a near empty compartment occupied by a single young boy, of our age.

"Do you mind if we join you, the rest is absolutely full." He agreed without hesitation almost as if he was hoping someone to walk by and ask the same question. What was not noticeable at first glance was that he was littered with candy and wrappers. The rest of the ride went by fairly quickly and soon I was on a boat with Lily while Sirius and James, the boy from the compartment, who seemed to be getting on well with Sirius and heard there was a giant squid beneath us were, for some obscene reason, trying to provoke it. As we neared the castle, my first impression of it was majestic. It looked like it had been ripped out of a Scottish history book. The lights added an exquisite source of light, illuminating every engraving on the walls and aged cement. We exited the boats and for the first time, stood outside the enormous Hogwarts entrance before being hurried into the Great Hall. It was a sight to behold, the enchanted sky, as I read in _Hogwarts: A History_ was a bright blue with small clouds spread out above it. The floating candles were truly magical which is a bit cheesy but it's the only way of describing it. The four long house tables stood ahead with students buzzing with excitement. An excessive amount of gasps and sounds of amazement erupted from the first-years and we huddled at the front as a Professor begun calling names after the Sorting Hat finished its marvelous little song marking the beginning of the infamous Sorting Ceremony. 

"Narcissa Black." Sirius shuddered slightly at the name from beside me as a girl went up. She was very pretty and had pale blonde hair with black streaks running through it. She hardly looked nervous or rather fazed at all as though having a prior knowledge of her house. The Hat didn't take very long at all to ponder the decision before releasing a rather loud, 'Slytherin!' She smiled as she strode gleefully to the Slytherin table and sat among our previously-encountered snobs.

"Sirius Black." That explained his reaction to his relative as I just learned. Perhaps an evil sister? Nevertheless, they barely looked alike and shared hardly any resemblance confidence-wise as Sirius was quite simply a bag of nerves. He paced to the Hat and sat on the stool, his body trembling. Unlike Narcissa's, his decision took fairly long and they seemed to be having an argument up there actually. After quite the quarrel, the Hat seemed to give in and shouted out, 'Gryffindor!' Sirius put his nose up in the air and sent a wink to the Slytherin table who had several jaws on the floor and bewildered looks going his way and made his way to the cheering Gryffindor table some of who also looked rather taken aback for some reason.

"Amelia Roper." The Professor bellowed before a fair girl with blonde and long hair glided to the stool before being sorted into my very envied Ravenclaw. Soon enough, the Ceremony carried on leading Lily and James _Potter_ to their fates by sorting them into Gryffindor with Marlene McKinnon and a mousy boy named Peter Pettigrew. Unfortunately, Severus had been chosen for Slytherin, much to Lily's dissatisfaction. I made a mental note to myself to ask James whether his father had invented the famous Sleekeazy's Hair Potion. But, not before long, the Professor called again.

"Remus Lupin." I swallowed down hard before stepping up and remembering to breathe in and out to restrict myself from imploding into nothingness. I sat down on the rickety stool as my stomach practically did backflips but as soon as I saw Lily smiling up at me, my nervousness subsided. The Hat started talking to himself giving me an insight to his decision.

"Ooh, got another clever one with us.....a werewolf you say?" I gasped in astonishment at the ability of the Hat to figure out my disease in seconds without having previously met me. "Must be brave of you to handle that every month......really brave indeed, very well then." I was too nervous to argue with anything he had to say and sat there quietly and rather sheepishly. It concluded it's process with a deafening, "Gryffindor!" That was even louder from that distance. I ran up to the table and hugged Lily in a bone-crushing hug before sitting down, the latter being pleased with our shared house. 

The Ceremony ended shortly after which the Headmaster, Professor Dippet reached the podium. My father had mentioned about him creating special facilities to transform instead of wandering about in harm's way so I was expecting to be called later. He promptly began. "A very warm welcome, to the first-years and a welcome back to all our returning students. A few notices, first-years note, that the Forbidden Forest is strictly inaccessible to all unless told otherwise. Also, can Mr. Remus Lupin please meet me after the Feast. Well, I can't find any reasons from stopping you from eating therefore, begin the Feast!" 

**Word Count:- 23** **08**

_Love, Kale._


	2. an Unforgivable deed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. Sirius' collage.  
> The dog is due to the fact that he it is him animagus.  
> The beer is to describe how everyone thinks of him in a negative way but he isn't because you know beer isn't as alcoholic as everyone thinks.  
> The motorcycle is to show how he tries too hard to be cool and punk rock.  
> The tattoos as to imply how he looks dangerous on the outside but is soft and sweet on the inside.  
> The glass symbolises how he feels like he's shattering at every second and how he just feels overall broken. It is also a call to his death *pulls pillow to face and wails*  
> And I really like the idea of him smelling like mint but with blueberry shampoo or something.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

_LET'S GO!_

I glanced around my room bombarded with Gryffindor posters and Quidditch souvenirs. I loved it and was very much full of house pride but the real reason I put them up was to piss off my parents, to be fair though, that's what I live for. It was the summer before my fifth year at Hogwarts. My younger brother, Regulus, ever the people pleaser was downstairs with my maternal figure welcoming some guests, most probably the Malfoys. I couldn't bare to even look at Lucius' face without barfing my guts out. Regulus however, had met him when he started at Hogwarts and the two hit it off completely despite being in different years. But I being the person I am, still clung on to him, after all he was the closest thing to love I had known for twelve years before James, Remus and Peter became the family I never had. But even I, as much as I didn't want to, had to admit that it felt like he was slipping away. He was poisoning himself with the wrong crowd, corrupting his pure and needlessly innocent mind. I heard a click downstairs indicating the departure of our unpleasant visitors. And as if on cue...

"Sirius!" The voice of the owner of the vagina I popped out fifteen years ago echoed through the halls and corridors of our empty and sadistic mansion. She usually did this when I didn't do the expected, in this case, welcome the bitches into our bitchy house. Yeah right I was going to directly obey her orders and give up a few good beatings? Nah! But then she turns to her safest bet, my loyal, loyal brother. He trotted up the stairs and silently pushed my bedroom door open, as if not to agitate me.

"Brother, your presence has been requested." God, yes by all means, be proper and even more fucking monotone. My eyes rolled sky high at the statement. When did he change from decent to suck-up? When did I lose my little brother?

"Why thank you, errand boy. I shall go to whom I have been summoned by." I tried to be as formal and boring as he did but failed dramatically. I guess I'm just too fun and amazing. It's actually a curse.

I un-elegantly flopped off the bed and sauntered down the stairs to my birth person who was waiting at the end of the stairs while Regulus followed from a safe distance. The usual punishment was a day or two lasting starvation or a few slaps here and there, the occasional punch thrown. She was a stern woman who had a couple hundred poles up her arse yet still managed to hold a sophisticated air around her. She was usually found with her arms crossed or nose flaring. She was fat enough to be posh but fit enough to be able to take a couple Aurors. Her behaved hair is always pulled into a seamless bun and her face always powdered the colour of cream. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, her unpleasant self was positioned at the bottom taken aback by my new Gryffindor jumper.

"Why in the Black's name are you wearing that ghastly thing?!" Another thing, she thinks our surname is so important, it can be used to swear upon which I don't think is a compliment but whatever. Her voice was one of a shriek but somehow managed to scare the bejesus out of the entire city.

"House pride." Her face scrunched up in disgust and anger and with a flick of her wand, turned to turn my jumper silver and a grave green. As soon as it changed, I took it off and threw it into the fireplace nearby though never breaking eye contact with her. I was now left in a thin T-shirt but the severity of my resentment warming my soul. But then, the most unexpected thing happened, she smiled. It was forced, but she still smiled and somehow that scared me more than anything else. She slowly and cautiously led me to the green leather couch with emeralds decorating the edges.

"I have had it with you." Her voice was calm and that was what scared me, I don't think she has ever spoken below a volume of really fucking loud. "I have put up with you and your shenanigans. Firstly, your disgraceful House which I learned to accept as a mistake and not in your power." I wasn't breathing anymore, my breath was hitched at the base of my throat and her booming voice was the only distinguishable sound. "But then, I have to hear from Lucius that you are in romantic relations with a Ravenclaw Half-Blood! And even worse, in close acquaintances with two Half-Bloods! A blood traitor! and even the unimaginable, a MUDBLOOD!!" I was calmer now that she was screaming again and I could breathe, but the content hadn't hit me until now and I was scared. I am going to hex the shit out of Malfoy in school for telling on me. But soon my mind was focussed again on the woman in front of me. She drew her wand, probably to hex me or something, which has happened before. She pointed it at me before her voice rung like a thousand blades to the heart. "Crucio!"

The silence was filled with my screams of agony and yells in pain but I couldn't hear a thing. Excruciating pain dominated my seemingly electrocuted body that spread across the cold, black, granite floors. The torment escalated from the tip of my toes till each strand of my, still perfect and tamed hair. My voice would have been miles in radius, maybe until Hogwarts if it weren't for the Silencing Charms she had ever-so-smartly thought to place around the house.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Regulus at the bottom of the stairs, standing straight. He didn't want to show pity or pain but his attempts proved useless with the endless stream of tears running down his face. Yet, he made no move to help or aid which I am somewhat glad about, because that would mean he could get hurt as well.

After a while, the pain stopped but the sting remained. I couldn't move for the life of me. I just remained on the floor, twitching every once in a while. She towered over me, her shadow disilluminating my figure, and she did nothing but smirk and headed over to my brother, placing a hand on his tear-stained cheek before raising her wand again. His eyes widened as he stared at her wand. I twitched even more, ache sweeping over my figure, but I had to help him. I couldn't let a thirteen year old go through what I just had to. But she didn't scream, in fact it was practically a whisper but loud enough for me to hear with strained ears.

"Obliviate."

**Word Count:- 13** **03**

_Love, Kale._


	3. Sedatephobia.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

_LET'S GO!_

"Can I come over?" I had found myself in another awkward conversation with my father a few minutes prior about my ' _disease_ '. I'm sure he didn't mean it or even bring it up intentionally but it used to happen so regularly before, it must've stuck. Of course I never blamed him or held him responsible for it, it was just the way he was. Anyway, that is the whole reason I called Lily. After a few months, it all became kinda routine, I get myself in these awkward situations, and then I go over to Lily's and hang out there for a couple hours before being forced to return for supper. That's how, somehow, we grew closer if that is possible. Sometimes, we even hang out with Severus but I feel kind of awkward, considering my best friends take any chance they get to prank him, but thankfully, he seems to like me because I've never assisted in harming him and he sees me differently.

"Oh sure, Sev is here and Petunia will be positively ecstatic! She does love you more than life itself, my life to be exact." Severus being there didn't really make an impact on my decision as Lily was there to soften the blow. Petunia however was the problem due to her slight crush on me. It happened quite recently because of my _transformation_ over the summer. I don't mean to sound ever so vain, but I have become quite delectable. Yes, I just said delectable. I was always self conscious, and I had reasons to be. I was average in height, though very skinny, like skin to bone, yet gaining a bit of fat at the abdomen while scars littered my body and face causing for an overall very unpretty picture, but after my fifth year, I hit a growth spurt finishing at nothing short of 6 feet and 3 inches. Apart from that, my mind and my mother finally got the better of me, forcing myself to exercise regularly. However much I hated it, it worked miracles to my figure. Anyway, that and a few rather random factors led to the lovely -to me at least- sister of Lily, Petunia to catch feelings for me, something I unfortunately did not reciprocate due to her simply disgusting treatment of her sister -though unaware to her- resulting in her never-ending pursuit for my care and affection.

"Shut up Lils, see you in ten." Lily came from a rather wealthy Muggle family. Her father was an extremely successful real estate broker who owned a couple hundred companies and another million properties, some of which they visit every Christmas ranging from France, to Cabo and even a few in South Africa. Anyway, this meant she had a particularly massive house, with a backyard that could be a wildlife park. Her house was almost as breathtaking as Hogwarts, one could say, with gold linings and a mahogany base, it was simply marvelous. My mum offered to drive me, though only being a mere ten minutes away. She stopped before the large titanium, black gates and told me to get home for supper before pushing me out of the car and waving as she left the mansion. The gates had an ID verification system, creating a foolproof system -well, as foolproof as Muggles can be- with no alternative points of entry. Petunia was standing outside the gates.

"I have been truly anxious for your arrival." She was pretty in a monotonous and conformed sense. She had long, brown hair silking down to her shoulders conflicting Lily's blinding red locks. But her eyes shone with the same exact tints of shamrock and lime like Lily, glimmering in the sunlight above. She had smooth skin, so perfect that even the sun couldn't tan it. Her short, and slightly revealing bubblegum pink frock lined her slim figure. Her pink shoes were polished to flawlessness and her moisturised face barely creased under the pressure of her 100-watt smile. She pushed out her hand and grabbed me by the wrist, no longer able to fit fully into a child's palm. She pulled me inside the gate as it shut behind me with a click. We were almost at the entrance of her castle-like house, when another arm clutched my opposite hand, interlocking our fingers.

"Hey Re!" My head turned to see my beloved redhead on the other end. Her taller self exceeded Petunia by a couple inches but the beauty was clearly present both of their appearances. She dressed a little more on her own accords, wearing a white crop top and blue jeans that were very shabbily sliced at the knees to support the warm weather perhaps.

"No Lils, ReRe is coming with me!" I cringed slightly at the name and with that, Petunia jerked me toward her own side. Before Lily did the same. And before long I was the main subject in a full on tug of war match. Both sides tugged on me with all their might, but of course before soon, with reluctance, Petunia let go as Lily revelled in her victory. Petunia entered the large oak doors with a positively nasty scowl that looked permanently etched on her previously flawless face. It wasn't much of a brawl or very brutal but I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a little flattered, okay, a lot flattered. It may have been platonic, but there is something about being fought over by two girls -regardless of the circumstances- that makes me feel simply fluttery inside. I don't know there's just something about it that makes you feel something unexplainable, like warm and maybe even builds up my ego just a tiny bit.

"Thanks for that." She smiled, angling her head 90 degrees and muttered a 'even I'm not that cruel to send you with her' which was almost inaudible to someone standing any more than three inches away from her. We walked to the middle of her large yard lawn where Severus was laying on the ground in the small patch of sun. We exchanged pleasantries before we both lay on the greenery, Lily between the two of us, metaphorical that she is very much what bridges the relationship between me and Severus.

This was followed by a comfortable silence, allowing me to absorb the sights around me. The grass beneath me was well maintained and wet with being newly watered. The blades prickled the back of my neck and relaxed my attitude caused by the awkwardness instigated prior to my arrival. More likely than not because it reminded me a tiny bit of acupuncture, one of the methods that Muggles really hit a gold mine practicing. The sun that shone above warmed my bare face accompanying more relief to my crippling soul as its blinding rays scattered among us bringing our surroundings alive with colour and life. The smell of freshly cut grass wasn't disguised in the air and it was plainly euphoric to be lucky enough to inhale it with every breath. The quietness of the atmosphere was interrupted by the pleasant humming of the birds, creating a music-like impression on the listener which accompanied perfectly the slight rustle of the sway of pine lining the boundaries of the compound, comparing to the works of Mozart.

Anyway, moving on. There was a kind of tension between me and Severus, I'm not sure if it was only me but I honestly felt kind of guilty. I mean sure, I inflicted no harm on him myself but I feel bad for not preventing the endless measures taken to embarrass or hurt Severus. I'm not saying I think of him as a friend but more of as a very dear yet wildly platonic acquaintance but even though, I yet didn't have the guts to confront Severus and apologize, because just as I didn't have the balls to come out to my parents, I didn't have the balls to bring up the Erumpant in the room, my behaviour was truly pitiful and I knew it making my internal conundrum worse. Luckily unlike myself, a thinker, Severus, a doer cut straight to the point.

"I can tell you're feeling bad because of what happened but I assure you I will never hold you accountable for the actions of your, excuse me, incompetent and reckless imbeciles you call your companions especially since you've never laid a harmful finger on me." I murmured a small 'its okay' to his comment concerning my friends. Ah, my best friends, those lovable idiots. Nevertheless, he did dismiss the idea of any kind of bad blood between us which was a relief. Now some may be under the impression that I am a people pleaser, which is actually untrue, but understandable as to why they would believe so. You see, it's not that I have a dire need to keep everyone content, but rather get joy out of knowing that I made others happy, and experience great trauma when I think that I caused distress to anyone. Of course, I don't let people take advantage of me and I certainly know a lost cause when I see one, but sometimes the idea of someone being mad at me is unbearable which is exactly what I experienced with Severus. I knew that I was partially responsible for his harm and I hated being a part of it.

"Thank you, it means a great deal to me. And know I would never hurt you intentionally, ever. I think you're extremely amiable." At this point, I could tell Lily was starting to feel a little awkward having been in the middle of the now-subsided tension and making sure that she didn't let as much of a gasp out in the case that might interrupt our discussion and disrupt the covenant being created in her midst whilst also trying to stifle quiet giggles caused by my unnecessary and excessive vocabulary. Which is why I decided to strike up a group conversation with the two of them. The confab ranged from Acromantula's venom to Hiccoughing Potion. Sev had a very vast and mature knowledge of the art of brewery and the ways of a potioneer. I was extremely impressed by his proficiency in the subject.

Unfortunately however, time carries on instead of halting in a perfect instant of existence during which life is at a standstill and the idea of hate and death are insignificant while love is splashed over the moment of reality. When time pauses at all the sweet seconds speed by the substandard blinks. That is legit how time should work! So before soon, it was time to go home. Severus was going to leave a little later -no idea if his family cares for him- but I was never going to hear the end of it if I didn't return soon so I bid my goodbyes to Severus as me and Lily, who kindly agreed to walking me out got onto our feet and began for the gates.

"Don't mean to come off as abrupt and rude but, um, who's your next prey slash target?"

"Well, how ironic because that was abrupt and rude." It may be a tad true that ever since I got a teensy bit 'attractive', I may have taken a bit of an advantage of my outburst of desire I evoke and considering my lack of romantic bonds in the last couple of years, may have utilised it to aid my sex life. It isn't like I'm a man whore.....maybe not a lot of one at least!!

"Shut up, just tell me who your new boy toy is." Her tone was incredibly blunt yet somehow also came off as bursting in excitement and I was very much so upset at her choice of words suggesting I use them for their bodies and treat them as pieces of meat. She knew of my endeavours and had made her peace with it because she knew of my prior forever-lasting dry spell. But my responsibility and rationality never left my subconscious and my encounters had never going too far that it makes me uncomfortable, my morals repeatedly getting in the way of me bypassing my precepts. Needless to say -not that anyone, even Lily knew- I had indeed lost my "innocence". Anyway, Lily has had a fair share of boyfriends but that never stopped her being intrigued in mine, especially since somehow, once in awhile I nabbed a straight dude. Don't ask.

"That's rather assumptuous of you, how do you know it isn't a girl!?"

"Honey, we both know your orientation isn't split 50/50 and we both know who's your preferred but don't feel bad about bragging, player!" Her amusement in my seeping embarrassment clear in her almost mocking voice. Her nickname kind of ticking me off, I don't want to be viewed as a player, I prefer nerd. At least its modest and comprises of me more. I would much rather be defined by my bibliophilism rather than by sexual encounters.

"Fine, its Adam Goldstein." The rest of our distressing voyage to the gates consisted of 'he's the hottest guy in school!' and 'is he even gay?!' and other insightful questions to my relationship. Anyway, for once I was thankful to be away from Lily when my Mum arrived to collect me but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't already longing for my next visit with her.

 **Word Count:- 22** **55**

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_Love, Kale._


	4. Playboy Come to Life.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

_LET'S GO!_

The air was thick with excitement and rush as students of all backgrounds and races. Purebloods, Half-bloods and Muggle-borns were all engulfed in the crowds and united for a split second before segregating into their groups. My Mum on my right and my Dad on my left. I had grown a lot over the summer but was still a couple of inches short of my father. We were waiting, it had become routine that we waited. The awaited car arrived cutting it quite close to the departure of the Hogwarts Express. There was no doubt that our compartment wouldn't be occupied by strangers, Peter was awarded with the responsibility of reserving it as Remus spends time with Lily before journey, oh how I envy his companion, how I wish to be able to hold her and comfort her, and kiss her. Finally, just as I had almost given up hope on his arrival as usual, a black-headed stud strode through the brick wall and made his way toward me, without luggage, always carried by his elf chatting quite happily with Regulus a few paces behind.

"About time, Shorty!" He rolled his eyes sarcastically and scowled at the name before we made our way onto the train just as the final boarding announcement was made. Unlike the rest of us, he was seemingly the only one who seemed to have not grown. He had black, perfect hair as usual with a bouncy spirit. He wore brand new robes, as he always did, tailored to a nanometre and he sported a pair of black formal shoes, no doubt bought by his mother but they were spray painted a bright shade of pink which I am 800% sure was done to piss of his mother.

"Blame it on the inbreeding." We both cringed a little at the comment about him family's incesism but brushed it off and continues conversing. We walked to the end of the train, our feet carrying us subconsciously, having it being the fifth time on the transport. The usual slurs about blood traitors and whatnot were thrown, but a single fuck was yet to be given. We spoke about our various adventures during the summer, or mine at least as Sirius was fairly closed of as to what goes on at Black Manor referring to it as 'confidential'. As we neared the last compartment, the rest of the train died out as me and Sirius were confronted with a trolley of food and a woman standing behind it wearing an apron and a pouch, both worn out and overused.

"Anything from the trolley, dears?" Her voice was high-pitched but sweet and innocent. I briskly agreed, pulling out a few galleons and buying a bit of everything. As she walked past, we came face to face with our next obstacle, Amelia Roper. The position of Sirius' first long term girlfriend was occupied by Amelia Roper, by long term I obviously mean two weeks and half but who's counting. She looked rather innocent on first glance though her attitude truthfully was spicy and bitter and highly toxic. She had blonde and lightly curly hair with amber highlights. She also had similar coloured eyes, a dark wood which glimmered with hate in the presence of her boyfriend. She wasn't dressed in robes but rather an uncomfortably short pair of jeans that stretched only five inches and a blouse that outlined her hot-rod red brassiere -I did my best not to stare, but I'm only human- due to the black yet the thinnest material that was practically see-through. Her boots won the competition for the biggest article of clothing she had worn, her tall leather shoes that zipped up to her knees. Her eyes that fell upon Sirius and were overcome with pique and vexation. She glared daggers at him but all Sirius does, because he is a rightful, inconsiderate dick....who I love very much, is smirk his legendary smirk.

"It's been like six days since you've texted me!" Well I guess someone does keep count.

"Sorry, but I kinda forgot..." Her face eased a little at the notion that her loss of communication was based of memory, an unaccountable factor. "...that you existed." It was a little harsh but that was exactly what Sirius wanted. Her face fell as she processed the information given to her.

Here's the thing about the girls Sirius' dates, He has a very specific type, which unfortunately fuels unhealthy stereotypes about females. Everyone he dates are usually...pretty and stupid af. I don't mean to sound condescending but their age exceeds their IQ. Many think of Sirius as daft but he can be clever as fuck when he wants to be. He has found a very specific group of girls and perfectly determined their relationships. It's always the same routine, he dates someone, has his fun, pretends to forget about them, makes sure their terrible upset with him and in the end, they do all the breaking up and all the hard work for him, making him seem like a victim, attracting his new prey ready to comfort him and the cycle continues. In my opinion, and rather everyone who knows about it, thinks it is a bit shallow and so we have learned to steer the conversation away from the topic.

Amelia's face contorted into sudden understanding as she huffed out a breath of air. The anger was clear in her eyes but I have a feeling she was lost on words of how to express it and instead had chosen to let out a continuous series of grunts and groans in frustration. This of course was all a lead up to a much more painful blow, the chick slap. Every time Sirius 'gets dumped' by a girl, he gets what we call the chick slap. It has happened every time and I'm quite sure his cheeks -serves him right for dating left handed girls too- are numb and impervious to the pain. Nevertheless, even standing next to him, I could feel the power and pain radiate from the chick slap. And it was brutal. And honestly I felt the tiniest bit guilty that while he was enduring what he was and I was simply standing there in the sidelines, munching away at my pumpkin pasties because if Imma be real, this was better than any movie I have watched. It was like an emphasized soap opera. But that wasn't even the weirdest part, after her _first_ blow, she leaned in close to him, imprinting her blinding crimson lipstick on his own. Her cheeks then went the shade of tomato, before she one more stepped back and Sirius suffered his second blow as Amelia retreated back to her compartment without another word...or slap.

But of course, as he always done, Sirius brushed it off and carried on as he usually does. It's almost as if he is completely impervious to pain, it was odd but not completely out of the ordinary. Our compartment was now visible and there was present a red-hued hand-shaped mark across his pretty, pretty face. We had finally reached the compartment after the awkward encounter to find Peter idly sitting on the left staring out of the window, subconsciously fumbling with his robes. I slid the doors apart. Pete's head shot up at the sudden and abrupt sound.

"Hey you guys!" He stood up and hugged us while we loaded our luggage above. We exchanged pleasantries which didn't take long at all, before we indulged in the better conversation, namely, our annual prank events especially the infamous _Prank War Of 1975-76_ , the highest anticipated event in Hogwarts, even for the teachers who place bets on their opinion of the winner, which is kinda sad. Anyway, the Prank War consists of two teams, in essence the Marauders split themselves. Everyone else may assist who they please and place bets on them too. It's all good fun, especially when me and Sirius are paired up...which always happens every single time! And it is always awesome especially considering over the course of three years, they had to rebuild the Astronomy Tower, a couple pillars in the Courtyard and also Professor Binns' classroom but who's counting? Except McGonagall, but she's put up with us for five years, she can handle a couple more.

"Has anyone seen Moony? We need to make our teams." Sirius was pining due to his impatience to start planning his revenge for last year.

"I always get him anyway, you may as well start planning because you always win!" Peter decided to join in. He wasn't wrong, it had been three and a four years and every single time, Sirius and I obviously dominated the _sport_ , my ingenious ideas paired with his consistency, hyperactivity and recklessness married perfectly. We had never lost and I would very much like to keep our streak up.

There was a slight rustle outside the compartment, but each were too engrossed and overexcited to notice, then the door slid open revealing a familiar yet somehow unrecognisable boy. He spoke with a sanguine and bubbly tone and a huge smile broke out at the sight of us.

"What's up."

**Word Count:- 1** **5** **48**

_Love, Kale._


	5. Stranger Danger

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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"What's up?"

He was tall, surely nothing less than 6 feet, his head almost scraping the ceiling. He possessed cinnamon and caramel hair curled up from the base that was overgrown, yet went no longer than below his ears. He had light brown eyes that didn't really contrast the rest of himself. He -though his tall self- had somehow found and clothed himself in an _oversized_ faded grey jumper, a little battered due to overuse with a thread or tow sticking out of the seams with beige coloured khakis to compliment them. He had an overall warm and cuddly nature upon first encounter.

Sirius and I were staring intently at the assumed stranger, though Sirius' eyes had a hint of an unrecognised emotion, but I brushed it off. Then something he held caught my eye, he clutched a book in his left hand, it was for some reason instantly identified itself in my brain. It was red-covered -further complimenting his palette- and the words _Sense and Sensibility_ were sewn in a gold thread in cursive. It was a book I had seen ever so often, one of the earliest editions and one of the rarest. Even I -seemingly unsophisticated- was far from uncultured. Further, I had gifted it to one of my best friends a few years ago and he certainly made the most of it.

"Re?" My tone was one of exceeding question. The fact that the stranger was none other than Remus Lupin did nothing short of baffle me. Remus' eyes furrowed in confusion and maybe a slight hurt, probably due to his lack of greeting from his best friends which was quite understandable considering his past. So the next thing I did was abruptly get on my feet and pull Remus into a bear hug. I would say I could feel him smile into my shoulder but I was significantly shorter than him now which felt very unnatural, nevertheless I felt his significant change in emotion. As I pulled back, not wanting to explain the reason for my delayed reaction, I sat down. So did Remus but opposite me next to Sirius, who still sat there, eyes widened and jaw still dropped.

The next thing he did was fairly odd. He reached out and touched Remus' face. The gestures were rather similar to that of a blind man inspecting the features of someone they had never met. He ran his hands all over Remus' face, scars and all, even through his hair, not once taking his eyes off him. He was highly intrigued in Remus' _metamorphosis_. Remus simply sat there, smiling a delicate and heartfelt smile. It seemed as though he was expecting such a reaction but instead of revelling in his prediction and transformation, he just sat there. Not awkwardly, just comfortably.

During all of this, Peter had been rather quiet, it had been only when I looked over finally finding relief from the shock of appearance, did I realise that Peter's head was leaning on the window, eyes shut with no intention of opening anytime soon. As I looked back to Remus, Sirius had concluded his examination and kept making weird sound with his mouth. I figured it was because his prolonged opening of his mouth caused it to slightly dry up. I muttered a small 'finally' accompanied with a small chuckle, a snarky 'Whatcha gagging on there Pad?' and a complimentary wink. Sirius tried to hide his amusement at my bad joke and eye rolled to the moon and back. What I didn't expect was for Remus to join in.

"Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there, Pads."

Sirius looked at Remus in surprise, as he wasn't one to voice his playful insults before looking at me. Before long, we both burst out laughing, Remus eyeing us in enjoyment. I made the quick decision to strike up a conversation about the new and improved Remus, not that he wasn't great before, just a little unhealthy and I was pleased that the bone present previously was now not only replaced with flesh but muscle too.

"Are we going to avoid the fact that Remus looks like model or....?" I wanted to break the silence and I was very curious as to what happened to him. Remus looked at me, blushing profusely and stringing objections.

"Yes please tell us how that impromptu miracle happened." It could have almost been interpreted as sarcastic but leaned more toward eagerness. We chatted about his makeover and I repeatedly asked him to consider joining the Quidditch team which he was incredibly suited for, after my position as the Quidditch Captain in addition to my role as House Prefect, but he kindly refused. We conversed about various topics, including my adventures over the summer, Remus' encounters with Snape and how he 'isn't a bad guy' and whatnot. I do not understand what Remus sees in that git. He is nothing but cruel and hangs out with the worst of the lot.

Suddenly, the door slid open which was peculiar as all the Marauders were present, but I was overjoyed as none other than Lily Evans stepped through. She sent smiles all around before looking for a place to sit. I scooched closer to Peter to create space but she had already seated herself by Remus.

"Looking good, Evans." For some obscene reason that everyone else in the room apparently knew, Lily was offended and sent me a glare. For some reason, whenever I am around her, I feel different, I act different...and kinda stupid. I put my feet up, trying to be suave and look cool, a spectacular fail I realised a little too late.

"For Merlin's sake Potter, get your crotch out of my face!" Sirius was deliberately trying to get on my nerves and embarrass me in front off Lily but I was going to make sure I succeeded this time. Because as Muggles say, millionth times the charm!

**Word Count:- 10** **01**

_Love, Kale._


	6. The Boys Are Back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. Lily's collage.  
> Firstly, the bubbles are a direct metaphor for her bubbly personality but also how she can like burst at any time and you know.   
> The books, exactly like in Remus' symbolise her love for reading, but also how, again like Remus, she seems boring, but if you get to know her, she is exciting and colourful.   
> The Patronus is clearly hers.  
> The dandelion shows how she looks delicate and how she sometimes grants people's wishes. Yay.  
> The green eyes are hers, if you didn't know that, you're dumb.  
> And finally, she smells like blueberries.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

On some level, I think it's kinda sweet how hard James tries to impress me but then I remember he's an inconsiderate, idiotic toerag who hates one of my best friends. But of course he took Remus in and they're best friends so I've learned to control my natural instincts which are to pull my hair out and throw stuff at him when he's around. It's just that I've had my fair share of guys but unfortunately they have all been rendered incompetent by myself or more importantly, by Remus. Of course I've had a little less luck now the entire school seems to think Remus and I are _romantically acquainted_ , this is obviously because my school comprises of blithering idiots who couldn't identify a platonic relationship if it hexed them in the face. But if I'm being honest, it has its perks especially now since Remus is, well you know.

Anyway the whole reason I made the decision to bless these humble souls with my presence is because of Mary. We had gotten into a completely unreasonable and unnecessary argument that was -to put in the simplest and nicest way possible- caused by her raging hormones. She, despite being one of my best friends, was stupid enough to believe the newly bled rumours about me and Remus and thought it would jeopardize her chances of a relationship with him, an extremely shallow feat as her 'life-consuming crush' has been going on for about half an hour. Yeah me, _that's_ the biggest reason a relationship with Remus wouldn't work, of course! Which is why I approached Remus' compartment, he's the only one I fully trust after Mary and my little conundrum. I mean I guess when I think about it, I can totally see why people see we're dating; we'd make an insanely cute couple but more on that later.

Unfortunately, I was bombarded with a butt load of James and his efforts of flirting, which usually I would have not only appreciated but maybe even reciprocated mildly. Of course James wouldn't realise it accounting for how stupid and oblivious he is 24/7/365. In fact, basically all the Marauders with the exception of Remus, are incredibly stupid. I mean those idiots still haven't figured out Remus swings both ways, and it's literally been 5 years and those imbeciles barely spend three seconds apart a day. I mean at least James and Sirius have an excuse, being so engrossed in each other, half the school thinks they're dating! But Peter has a reasonable mindset and spends enough time with Remus to have realized, considering I found out after a month of knowing Remus and watching an LGBT+ movie, not to mention I was 10 years old. Yes, Remus knew back then. Honestly it's not that hard!

So although I would have otherwise enjoyed the attempt at flattery, after my little spat, I just wasn't in the mood for it, and it may have come off as rather rude than the intended fed up.

"Could you just stop for a second!" I wanted to forget about the incident but at the same time wanted to organise my thoughts resulting in an outburst. It was rather abrupt and clearly unexpected based purely on the shocked faces staring at me, even Remus', which was really weird because he can usually anticipate my actions. James had returned to his usual seat, getting his and I quote, 'crotch out of Sirius' face' and his confidence and ego had sort of died out a little, something I had never experienced before.

In fact, I was so loud that I woke Peter up. He rose with a start, his head lightly hitting the window. He looked around the compartment, a smile creeping onto his face at the sight of James beside him, who was still taken aback, but as expected, Peter was far too oblivious to notice any kind of tension in the room and instead chose to focus on the 'stranger' in the compartment. He simply stared, his brows furrowed in mild confusion and his mouth hung open as if midway to questioning the situation but losing interest quickly and carrying on as if there wasn't -in his eyes- a stranger sitting among his best friends.

"So, are we there yet?" In all honesty, I was glad for Peter's mild stupidity, it gave me a chance to ignore the situation and the tension it held. I, after not much consideration -which is unlike me- came to the conclusion that if I was there any longer, the awkwardness would dwell until it crushed me so I didn't really have a choice. I gave a quick 'excuse me' to all those present, not waiting for anyone to protest and made my way out of the compartment towards my friends.

I took a quick detour to the bathroom to change into my robes considering our arrival approached. My new robes looked sleek as ever, the old cloth of memories of the previous year replaced every year. I was glad that I was put in Gryffindor, I was always reminded of this statement when I wore my robes, because now my robe linings match my dazzling hair. I can't begin to imagine if I was in any of the other houses. Like just thinking about bright red and emerald green honestly puts me on the verge of puke. So yes, I am grateful that I didn't evoke ideas of Christmas, not that I don't love it.

Anyway, I then rather reluctantly walked over to the girls' compartment comprising of my prior group of friends: Mary, Alice, Marlene and Olivia.

"Hey Lily. How's Re-Re?" Alice's smirk emerging as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Of course, no one else knew of Remus' sexuality as we decided to keep it that way. He was not completely comfortable with revealing himself to the school and kind of wanted to survive Hogwarts without being exposed and just live with it without all the pressures after school ended. And I, fulfilling my role as the best friend, totally supported his decision and helped him with it, exceeding expectations as usual.

"I can't do this right now." I sat myself in between, with a Mary still half-fuming on the other side. My friends thankfully seemed to understand and didn't push for further information. Instead, they carried on making me feel less awkward which I was again thankful for.

"Ooh, we're here."

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**Word Count:- 1** **180**

_Love, Kale._


	7. Home Sweet Home.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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The carriages pulled up right in front of us, their rickety wheels creaking due to the rough terrain beneath and the rocks jutting out underneath. The three of us clambered on, while Remus practically floated onto it. His actions were almost more graceful and realistically, we was the only out of the four of us who actually had control over his actions and personality. So far no one had said anything, a fairly odd occurrence for the four of us, but not unheard of. Surprisingly, Peter was the one who broke the silence.

"Guys, we have to pick the teams!" It was abrupt but Peter was clearly extremely excited about the Prank War; much more ecstatic than the rest of us at least. The four of us sat in a circle anyway, so there was no reason we couldn't do it now. 

"Yeah sure." 

The rest of the group nodded in agreement without a choice if I'm being honest because I would have just bothered them into it. But more on my dictatorship over the Marauders later. 

"So, as per protocol, the rules. Two pranks per team, intended ONLY for the opposing team." He glared at me before continuing. "No hair colouring because that got old and most importantly, stay clear of old McG because I am determined to make this a detention-free year for the Marauders."

Remus then proceeded to snatch my wand from my pocket without permission, very harshly might I add, all topped of with my signature smirk while going over the rules. "Hey!" Ok, there might be a slight, a very very tiny possibility that Remus has the stronghold over the group, but no one's going to admit that, duh. Anyhow, he then continues by levitating my wand mid-air in the centre. He then proceeded to spin it. "No offence Moony, but being on the same team as you would be tiring tiring and too monotone and so if it landed on me, please spin again so......I'll shut up." My complaints were unfortunately cut short by Remus' death glare and a quick 'that's against the rules' my way. The wand still spun, the momentum however decreasing with every round. The idea was that whomever the tip landed on, would partner with Remus as he was the one who spun it. We were halfway to the castle and the wand had slowed down. I watched as fate and unfortunate destiny pulled it closer to me. I watched as it took its final round, the only energy left being used up by its inching closer. But then I watched as it crept past me, finally landing on....James. It was the first time in technically five years that I have been paired up with Peter.

'Okayyyy..." Silence fell upon the carriage once more as if a tongue twister curse had been placed upon it. This was a never-before incident, no one had any idea of how to react. "So, Remus and James." I didn't know whether to be stunned or pleased or upset. James and I were a good team unlike Remus and I. He was always more quiet and reserved while I was anything but. We were perfect examples of introverted and extroverted. I went to parties, made loud noise out of sheer boredom. I was sporty, dare I say strong and definitely good looking. While he was abiding, conforming, unathletic and just a tiny bit fragile. I don't mean to be rude, he is one of my best friends but yeah, he's the tiniest bit weak. I mean he's less weak since his makeover but still.

Anyway, after the initial shock was overcome the rest of the carriage ride went by as regular, both teams discussing strategy and tactic. Their efforts however will be proved futile because whatever team I am on will of course win. Moreover, Remus will probably limit James as he does because of 'logic', vetoing his best and nastiest ideas. My plan would work perfectly, but there was one problem: Peter is fairly loyal to James. Scratch that, he's clingy to the point where if he had his way, he would live with James, which to think of it explains why he loves Hogwarts so much. Talk about man crush.

Our self-pulled carriage entered the large gates, where we were greeted by a very excited Professor Kettleburn. From there, the castle came into view. The nostalgia coming back, the lights warming us from still what seemed like a mile away compared to the size of the castle. We stepped onto the marble staircase, then entered the great hall, deja vu yet again returning as the four of us sat down onto the wooden benches, further discussing about the Prank War. The chatter in the room increasing by the second; a cheery and ecstatic atmosphere praising the Hall. 

The First Years came to get sorted, but honestly no one cared. They came and went every year. Lily had also re-emerged out of thin air somehow and seated herself beside Remus striking a group conversation.

"I meant to tell you on the train, before I ya know. Anyway, did you hear Molly's having another. He's due this December. Isn't it exciting?!" Peter and I had practically no reaction as we were extremely engrossed in our conversation, but James and Remus vigorously nodded. In my opinion, three's a crowd, two kids are a good number, who would want more. After the First Years had been sorted, and the children had sat at their table, Professor Dippet stood up and began to approach the podium. 

"A very warm welcome to the First Years and all of our returning students. All First Years please note the Forbidden Forest is strictly off-limits and anyone caught near the Forest will receive detention. Anyway, I wouldn't desire being the individual who deprived you of food, so begin the Feast!" Needless to say, that feast was gooood!!!

After the Feast, the five of us proceeded towards the marble staircases leading to the Gryffindor dormitories. The five of us, plus about a hundred First Years trailing behind us like lost puppies. James honestly seemed rather disappointed at the entire Prefect thing. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say he missed the days where he could piss Malfoy on the first day of school, responsibility is clearly a new notion to him. But nevertheless he _did_ get to spend time with Lily. 

The _'Prefect Couple'_ led us all to the portrait of the Fat Lady, who looked plump as always. Her rosy cheeks freshly brushed and ready to be gawked at by First Years. As usual, the Fat Lady was alone, again because it was the first day of school. 

"Password?" Her pitch rose as the word continued and her tone was like a grandmother asking her grandchildren if they wanted cookies. It was sweet. I had a better relationship with the Fat Lady than all the other students simply because I spoke to her much more often, from the beginning. It started weirdly enough on my first day of school:

_It was exceedingly past bedtime; around eleven in the evening. A few hours prior, my friends and I were celebrating, but then of course as usual, she ruined it. The letter came by owl directly to my window instead of arriving the next morning like all the others, a woman of flair, my mother was. It wasn't a howler but it may have well been considering the nasty content it held: clearly outlining the disgrace I inflicted upon the family by being sorted into_ _Gryffindor_ _. I hadn't an idea what to do, so I ran. House of the brave and then there's me. I ran for I don't know even know how long, passing a couple teachers in the process and blatantly ignoring each and every one of their concerned comments. I returned to the dormitory at, you guessed it, eleven. My face was wet with tears, sobs still unwillingly escaping. The Fat Lady had woken up, a worried expression dawning._   
_"Dear, are you alright?" It was new to me, seeing portraits experience emotion, the ones at home always seemed_ _soo_ _...conformed and pale._   
_"Um, yes." She wasn't buying my facade for a second. She demanded to know the problem but still spoke in a very delicate voice. I had no other choice but to tell her, or I wouldn't have been granted entrance. When the short story was in fact over, I entered._

"Dragon blood." It was usually animal related passwords, Professor Dippet certainly loved his animals. I walked into the dormitory after flashing a quick smile toward the Fat Lady, the scarlet and gold aesthetic engulfing me. The heat and glowing nature of the room warmed my soul. It was cheesy but it was true. The fire made the room just comfortable enough. I plopped myself on one of the sofas, familiarity taking over me. The 'oohs' and 'aahs' of the First Years were blocked. It was just me in that moment.

I was home.

**Word Count:- 1** **518**

_Love, Kale._


	8. Not a Laughable Matter!

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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The dungeons were as stingy and as slimy as ever. Professor Slughorn stood sluggishly at the front of the classroom, he wore his brown, tweed coat over his battered shirt and trousers: rather shabby for the first day of school. The potions behind him had been submitted as objects to fulfil his perfectionism. The bottles were lined up at the edge of the table as were his quills and parchment. There was a cauldron in the middle of the classroom with light blue bubbles and vapours coming out of it along with what sounded like faint echoes of human voices. 

"Semi-circle around the cauldron." It was only the Gryffindors this year for potions thankfully, unlike last year when we were paired with the Ravenclaws and I couldn't do with another year of dealing with those pompous braniacs who acted like they were above everyone. I mean a few of them were decent, but Amelia Roper, that girl got on my nerves.

We all did as we were told. As I walked closer, the voices became properly audible to the human ear and seemed to sound more and more like laughter. They were like echoes still, like spirits of another dimension. James stood on one side of me, and of course, Lily on the other. I had already identified the potion, I took it upon myself to learn the curriculum. Originally, I did it because I thought if I couldn't keep up with Lily I would lose her, my only great friend and soon it evolved into a rational fear but it just became a habit instead of a means of preventing my fear of rejection from coming to life.

"A Laughing Potion. Induces laughter for the drinker. Now, who knows what magical creature this potion is an effective defence against?" My hand was the first in the air along with Lily's. I could sense a few eye rolls from around the room but neither of us could give less of a shit. I knew the others hated us for always acting like know-it-alls but Muggle studies show that they're actually just jealous of our intellect. In any case, neither if us cared what anyone else thought of us. I did notice that Professor Slughorn smiled however. 

"Mister Lupin, Miss Evans, how bland my classes have been without you." We were obviously his favourite students, and he never failed to make sure everyone knew it. He gestured at the two of us to answer the question.

"Banshees." We spoke in unison as usual. I missed school. 

"Excellent as usual. 20 points to Gryffindor each. Now, pair up and brew the potion. Ingredients are on the board. Miss Evans, you will not work with Mister Lupin." It came as no surprise, he liked to switch it up a little sometimes but still, I didn't think he would do it on the first day of school. Lily put her books on a desk next to Sirius' while I placed mine next to James'. The desk had another mini-cauldron in the middle with an _'Advanced Potion Making'_ textbook next to it. As soon as the other cauldrons started brewing, the atmosphere of the room changed. It somehow got thicker and the stone-sealed surroundings did absolutely nothing to aid in its viscosity. In addition, the foul smells erupting from each of the individual cauldrons blended and interacted with each other producing the foulest stenches ever. It reminded me the slightest bit of James' cooking which I had sat, smiled and swallowed through the entire time and I would take the fact that it was disgusting to my grave. I simply waited while James fetched the ingredients we required. James and I honestly don't seem like very good friends on the outside, and it's true I got off to a rocky start with him, I felt like an outsider to the Marauders but he, more so than anyone in fact, made me feel the most welcome. He was the first to figure out my secret and the one to propose becoming animagi. So, we grew to be quite the odd friendship but a great one nonetheless. He was also what kept me from breaking down in front of my friends every full moon, I basically owed my life to him.

"Here you go, Moony." He stumbled back to our table, his hands and robes pockets full of Billywig wings, Knarl quills, Horseradish powder and whatnot and I began the fire beneath the cauldron. We started later than everyone else but our potion would be amazing in spite. James never really took a liking to Potions, more of a DADA man so he preferred gathering ingredients and stirring and all the inferior work to put it simply which I was perfectly fine with. He sat down on the stool behind him, grabbing the book on the table and flipping through the pages. "Add the spring water to the cauldron." He read out loud before placing the open book down next to me. I also noticed a girl had entered to talk to Slughorn, clad in Hufflepuff robes. But I didn't have time to properly look at her.

"So Moonyyyyyy." My head jerked around to face him, he had gone from being completely indifferent to grinning widely, his eyebrows suggestive in the span of a second. I was surprised because he had never said my name like that, ever and it startled me. I muttered a small but dramatically dragged out 'yesssss' in response. "Noticed a small something yesterday, something I had never seen on you before." My face began to contort as I got nervous; what was he referring to and why couldn't he just spill.

"What are you talking about?"

He stood up, walked over to me and for a second, he looked like he was going to kiss me. I would say he was uncomfortably close but I _have_ been in worse situations with him. I could feel his breath on my chin, it was warm but did nothing to break the tension. Then, he reached an arm out between us and settled it near the opening of my robes at my neck before pulling my shirt down about an inch and breathed 'This'. I obviously couldn't see what he was looking at so I stretched out my own arm to feel a small deformity: it was a hickey. I closed my eyes as soon as my fingers brushed over it before hurriedly pulling up my shirt. James was still beaming, obviously pleased with himself before sitting back down while I proceeded with the potion. "So Moony, which lucky girl have you nabbed." By now, he was so content that his voice managed to capture Lily's attention and she was looking straight at me. I showed her the hickey mouthing 'what do I do?' while James turned to look at her. But being the pain in my ass she was in these embarrassing situations, she just ignored my query. 

"Adam est-il devenu un peu possessif?" Yes, I had brought it unto myself to learn French a few years ago so Lily and I could speak in private. It came in handy very often. I rolled my eyes at her asking if Adam got possessive.

"Va te faire foutre." I cursed back. She was not helping! Meanwhile, the entire class had tuned into our conversation, hopefully none of them knew French. Even Slughorn was confused and was staring at us blankly yet in mild astonishment. We both glared at our respective sides of the room and carried on with our potions. Suddenly, the entire class had burst out into a fit of abrupt and uncontrollable laughter as it was one of the 'ingredients'. It couldn't come at a more perfect time for me to avoid the entire conversation with James about my love life. 

I had to be more careful.

**Word Count:-** **13** **25**

_Love, Kale._


	9. Laze.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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Today was Picnic Day! Every year -on the first weekend of the year- our entire group would gather and have a picnic. Yes, we started school on a Friday this year for some obscene reason so we had only been to one class, though it was a very eventful one. Our entire group was in Gryffindor, that was how we met so the preparations were being made in the common room. Well actually, Remus was making all the preparations which had it's ups and downs. For example, I didn't have to help which he used to scream at me for but in my defence, every time I did help, he would scream at me for doing it wrong. Damn his borderline OCD. Most of us wore robes itself except Sirius who obviously wanted to show of his tattoos with his black, sleeveless shirt and Frank who was sporting a basketball jersey, though almost no one knew what it was.

It wasn't bright and sunny out as preferred, but rather gloomy in fact but we couldn't bail because tradition was tradition. We all walked out to the nearly empty lawn outside and set up the picnic. The weather brought everyone's mood down but there was still a small buzz because we were all together after all except Alice who still seemed rather cheerful and was cheering on Marlene while she did skateboard tricks on a piece of flat rock closer to the lake. The clouds were slowly passing but I doubted whether we would be out here long enough to witness the sun.

I was sat at the back of the group, observing. Our picnics never got overly progressive but it was relaxed and I needed that. Alice had brought out her wine cooler for the occasion with Muggle wine she somehow got her hands on and was currently clutching a glass of it i her right hand. Remus was sat next to me, doing exactly the same thing I was, munching on a chocolate from his stash. We'd been here for barely ten minutes and he had already gotten through three large bars with the rest of it placed neatly into stacks that no one dared go near to unless they wanted their hands chopped off. The wind was getting stronger, I noticed a powder being blown off Remus' face. He occasionally borrowed my skin-coloured makeup to cover up the scars on his face. No one else knew except me. Now that I think of it, Remus' actually had quite a few things he kept from the Marauders, most of them were either small or you know consisted of half of his life.

Sirius was hogging all the sandwiches Remus had packed with food he managed to get from the kitchens; the House Elves loved him, they hated me but they loved him. Sirius was the biggest foodie of the group, but somehow managed to remain one of the fittest, I had no idea where his carbs went, perhaps he magic-ed them away. Frank was sitting beside him sporting his well-known, bright, orange Converse. It was one of his biggest traits even though it wasn't a trait. He'd had the same ones since Second Year, but they always looked new: probably a Glamour Charm. He was also high on candy, like 24/7. The pair of them were rather good friends, being on the Quidditch team together and whatnot and were laughing at something one of them said, a silly antic was the most likely.

James wasn't sitting, instead he was a few metres back with his infamous Snitch. He simply kept letting go before jumping up and catching it again, he was like a child: always overexcited, jittery and entertained by the smallest of things. Every once in a while, he would look my way so I assumed the Snitch -which I have no idea where he got- was an act to impress me. Peter was sat of the grass next to him, looking up in admiration, his mouth hung wide open. Peter was never the kindest of people to me. Every time he looked my way, he snarled or frowned, almost in disgust so I learned to avoid him. Remus had been saying that he would 'warm up to me' for five years now and I had accepted the fact he just didn't like me and I didn't give half a crap.

Mary who was previously sat alone had proceeded to go up toward Marlene and Alice. We had avoided the topic of our prior spat and we were going to until it was truly necessary. Alice went up to Mary and hugged her when she approached, the girl was clearly getting tipsier by the second and I wouldn't be surprised if she jumped into the lake soon. Marlene seemed to be done with the skateboard tricks so the trio came back and sat down as she began to draw something. Marlene wasn't one for book smarts but by Merlin, did she have a creative side. She could skateboard _and_ draw really well. Alice had reached for another wine bottle; she had finished an entire one but Remus got to it and cut her off before she could. He was the responsible one of the group, in some ways. He made sure that everyone was okay and that Alice wasn't drunk but also found a way to take every one of James' pranks and amplify them 10x. This year's Prank Wars were going to be one to behold.

Alice had found her way to me and cuddled up at my side, she had an extremely high alcohol tolerance so she would sober up pretty quickly and not even have a hangover. She then proceeded to rest her head in my lap, her dazzling, purple hair getting up in her face constantly. It was one of the things I envied of her, the fact that she had the confidence to pull of purple hair, I would never have the guts to do that.

It was getting late, we had spent a good four hours doing absolutely nothing and I loved it. It was what we all needed to get through the year. Sometimes we'd talk but mostly we would just sit in silence and we were comfortable just being around each other. It was bliss.

**Word Count:- 1** **064** ****

_Love, Kale._


	10. pleine lune.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. Remus' collage.  
> The books obviously symbolise his love for books but also the fact that he looks boring maybe but inside, he is bursting with life and colour if only you took the time to get to know him.  
> Furthermore, the coffee also signifies how again he seems boring on the outside but a dose of him can keep you up all night. *wink wink*  
> The chocolate is because he loves chocolate and how he is really, really, really sweet.  
> The moon is for his lycanthropy.  
> The seedlings are a complicated one. You have to imagine new seedlings, the first and new life, the fresh earth underneath and think of the clean atmosphere, that's what he carries around with him.  
> Also, he smells like cinnamon.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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It was the day of the first full moon of the year. I hated coming to these things, and it was the only thing I dreaded coming back from Hogwarts but James was always excited for some reason so I sucked it up and did it. I think in was the danger that intrigued and exhilarated him. I was never one for risk, I preferred staying on the sidelines, alone or not, watching the action go down.

It was Wednesday, nearing midnight when the full moon would be in full force. The three of us were in animagus form, with Remus, all hiding under the Invisibility Cloak, the Marauder's Map in hand. We were a little late so we had to rush. The sky was bright and illuminated by what seemed like thousands of stars. I disliked stars as well, they were just too happy. Nothing should experience that much of happiness. The air was still and everything was quiet except for the hushed 'shush's and the light treading of feet on the soft mud. Padfoot ran ahead to hold the knot in the Whomping Willow, it was thrashing violently at nothing in all directions at what seemed like the speed of light. The otherwise overly active tree slowed down to a slight waver while the rest of us clambered down the tree to the Shrieking Shack. The hole was rather large, especially to me: a mouse.

The wooden floors shivered with every small movement. The smell of stale blood and rotten wood was apparent and thorn-like pieces of bark stuck out from all directions waiting to harm someone. When we got to the shack itself, we transformed back until he changed just to keep him company. The wooden floors creaked beneath us, it was aged instead of spanking new like it was six years ago. Remus had conjured a piano in there a few years ago for no reason. I always found music to be a useless and disheartening tool. No doubt the work of some Muggle.

The sides of the shack were also rather battered, the moonlight poured through the ridges and grooves. The hand ticking on my watch inched closer to midnight with every click. It seemed very loud at this point among all the silent stares and Remus' small smiles. Prongs was always telling us how the first transformation back to school was important because he had to change alone at home. The hand on my clock signalled it was only two minutes to midnight. Remus and Prongs were staring at each other very intently which honestly made me feel rather uncomfortable. Then, suddenly James had lunged forth and wrapped his arms tightly around Remus' taller frame. Prongs was silently sobbing but Remus was practically balling, dampening Prongs' now-ruined sleeve. Sirius walked forward a few seconds in and pulled him back thankfully before the three of us departed though the time had already been wasted. As Padfoot held the knot once more, we began to make our way back to the common room, we were humans again. 

But all of a sudden, there was a whisper and the Cloak was whipped out from on top of us with a force. I braced, not daring to look if someone found us but then Prongs simply laughed. I peered up to see Lily standing a few metres away, the Cloak slung over her shoulder and her wand clutched in her right hand. 

"How did you know we were there?" I didn't really care for pointless banter with Evans, I needed to get to the comfort of my bed where I could sleep!

"Just a hunch." She shrugged before she began to turn around and walk back. We had to follow her, but Prongs was at her side in seconds. "Professor McGonagall asked me to find you three though I'm sure she knew where you went." She was smirking now, and handed the Cloak to Prongs' perfect hands where it belonged. As we neared McGonagall's office, Lily took the Cloak and the Map and pushed us in. "I'll wait here. Have fun." 

As we entered Professor's office, another man came into view: Professor Dumbledore. He was leaning against her desk, the two of them seemed to be having quite the party as there were glasses of Firewhisky in their hands. 

"Hey Old McG! Dumby, how are you on this fine evening. Are we disturbing something?" Padfoot led the parade, his cockiness and confidence seemed to have become one and the same thing. I could sense the wiggle of his eyebrows at the end of that sentence. The Professors smiled at the names but at the same time seemed to be upset -didn't think that was possible- but I know they didn't have the patience of consistent energy to correct him. 

"I am perfectly fine, Mr Black thank you for asking. And no, you were not interrupting us. In fact, it was me who summoned you all." He placed his glass down on the desk and pulled up a chair. He wore extended, capri blue robes, with matching half-moon spectacles and as he walked, his robes shifted to reveal spotless, white, Adidas sneakers. He was colour coordinated and very well-dressed for someone who had to be at least in their late 70s(or late 120s). 

"Nice pumps, Dumby." Professor snickered in his chair at the comment, I'm guessing he's been complimented for them very often. 

"Thank you, but I'm afraid you were called for a rather trivial matter this evening, boys. And not about your complete disregard for school timings and rules. Miss Evans, there's no point in loitering around the door, you may enter." Lily came from the back, blushing and pulled her own chair next to Padfoot at the far end. 

"It had just so happened that during the conclusion of our last academic year, I was out for a nice stroll among school grounds. It was well past eleven in the evening." He directly dove into his story. The four of us were listening quite intently, even Professor McGonagall had tuned in; it appeared she had no idea what he was talking about. The face of Prongs and Padfoot were blank but Lily's was calculating. Then, she let out the loudest gasp ever. Everyone turned to look at her, Dumbledore smiling. "It seems as though Miss Evans has figured it out already. I had estimated at least another sentence." But Lily, for the first time didn't smile at the compliment, in fact she was horrified. It was rather delightful seeing her like that.

"Professor, please don't expel them!" That got my attention drawn to the Mu-ggleborn. 

"Steady yourself, Miss Evans, I wasn't going to, in fact, I meant to keep this between us for all of our safeties including Mister Lupin. I was simply going to ask for your badge, Mister Potter." Lily immediately sank back into her chair before sighing in relief. As did everyone else but I was still utterly confused as to what was going on. Professor McGonagall was actually even more confused. I usually always saw her mouth in a line, but she was actually gaping.

"Hold up, what's going on?" Dumbledore getured to Lily and she began to speak. Very quickly. There was no introduction to what she was saying, she just started speaking. A lot. And in all one rapid breath.

"Well, I was thinking back to our last night at school and then it hit me, it was a full moon! I've memorise all the full moons at the beginning of every academic semester since First Year till graduation, but then I wondered, what could possibly have happened on that night that Professor had no clue about and it hit me, it was...you guys." The animagi. He found out about the animagi! 

Prongs caught on rather quickly, then ripped his badge off, almost tearing his newly-ironed shirt in the process and slammed it on the desk. 

"So no expulsion?" Dumbledore was calm and shook his head. "And no one has to know?" He repeated his actions. "And I'm still Captain of the Quidditch team?" He nodded thankfully it we'd have surely lost every match without James' awesome skills. "Well then Dumby, McG, we'll be off. See you tomorrow."

And he walked out, with us on his heels, without another word.

**Word Count:- 1** **528**

_Love, Kale._


	11. Chasing a Championship!

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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The room was stuffy and the stale smell of medicine spread throughout the area. It was too early for anyone to be awake; probably no more than five in the morning. The beds were half-full with patients, all asleep except one boy at the far end of the wing: Remus. Even from a distance, I could make out the scars running down his torso and arms. A generic, pale blanket was pulled up to his belly button covering any potential cuts on his legs. It was hard seeing him like this every month, I can only imagine what it must've been like when we weren't with him. 

The four of us walked across the length of the Hospital Wing. He was concentrated on the book he was levitating so he didn't seem to notice us. We could see Madam Pomfrey's light out inside her office and chambers so we snuck out of the Invisibility Cloak but that still failed to catch his attention. 

"Re!" Lily had resorted to whisper-yelling to make him notice us. If we weren't absolutely quiet, we'd end up in detention for a week and Remus would kill us. Remus jumped out of his skin, almost falling off the other side of the bed. 

"Lils?" His voice was throaty and scratchy like he hasn't spoken in a while. He turned to look at the two of us and smiled. We were wearing our Quidditch uniforms because we had practice in like half an hour. Peter was asleep so we had to leave without him today but we would see him at breakfast. Lily sat down on the edge of the thin and springy mattress, causing it to dip slightly and creak due to the sudden movement. The eeriness of the room was deeply unsettling. He cleared his throat as much as possible without water and began to speak once more. "What are you guys doing here?" The two of them leaned against the wall behind them, their fingers subconsciously entwining in the middle. 

"They're visiting before Quidditch practice and I thought I would stay." Maybe the accusations about them being a couple weren't as absurd or preposterous as I thought they were. The locked hands, the sleeping in the same bed, the suggestive smiles: they all led to one thing. She never held _my_ hand like that. She wouldn't even sit on the same couch as _me_. She smiled but they were _never_ suggestive. 

Jealousy. You'd think I'd be used to it by now but it seems to strike at all the right moments which just so happen to be all the wrong moments. 

"No. I was just about to sleep. You should go watch." Lily, who was looking down blankly, lifted her head to face Remus with hopeful eyes and her mouth prepared to say something. 

"Really?!" It was too high-pitched to be audible in my opinion.

"Ouch." I turned to see Sirius clutching his ears and contorting his face awkwardly. The pitch had obviously bothered him. Ignoring this, Remus simply nodded. Lily pecked him on the cheek, muttered a quick 'thank you' and got up off the bed, concluding the conversation. Good thing too, because it wouldn't really go down well with the team if their Captain showed up late to a practice session at six in the morning on a Sunday that he himself organised. I'd probably get hexed. And I wasn't in the mood for that this morning. At least if I was, now Lily would be there to soften the blow. 

Once we had all said our 'goodbye's, we began our journey to the pitch, the time had come once more.

"Hey Lily, so I was wondering. Maybe sometime you and I co-"

"No." That was about down quickly but I was making leads is progress, firstly of all I'm pretty sure I saw her smile to herself and secondly, she usually cuts me off at 'wondering' so yay.

As we exited the castle, it became clear that the previously indifferent weather had apparently changed its mind and was incredibly upset, letting out a the nasty roar of strong gales and the incessant process of precipitation. 

"Sure, the weather isn't ideal and everyone is half asleep but nevertheless, we will push through because as usual, Ol' McG has organised a match with Slytherin sometime after Halloween. It's so typical. But we have to win so let's go!" I can't believe I gave that sorry excuse of a pep talk in the circumstances we're in currently. I gotta pre-write those or something. To be fair though, nothing could lift their spirits at six in the morning and it is our first practice so we should start slow. The team made their way out onto the field, I chuckled inwardly as I saw Lily cheering from the nearest stand, her wand was held vertically, a transparent umbrella had stemmed from its tip. 

The team circled around the box that contained the Quidditch balls as I walked up to it and loosened the belt fastened around it. The Golden Snitch and the bludgers flew out immediately. I grabbed the Quaffle and threw it up in the air above me marking the beginning of the practice match. I had divided the team into two so we could have a sense of competition. I wasn't going to play for a team to keep it fair, not to brag. Both teams struggled for the Quaffle.

The ball just kept getting tackled out by the opposing team whenever someone came even remotely close to scoring which I couldn't decide was a good or bad thing. Both teams were either really, really good or equally terrible. One or the other way, I was going to have to get them whipped into shape for our Slytherin match. Even though it doesn't help us get the Quidditch Cup, it would be good practice. So far -though I would never admit it- Frank was one of the best players, a close second to me and I do think that with his skill, he would be better suited at another roll instead of Keeper. I watched each player intently and analysed their every move, or every move I could make out in the misty haze. 

My Quidditch robes were soaked, and I shivered every few seconds when the water dampening my hair rolled slowly down my back. I pray that no one would catch a cold even though it would probably go by the time the match rolled around. I still failed to believe that it was raining in September but the weather _has_ been freaky lately and that combined with our crappy luck should've confirmed it. 

Lastly, when our match drew nearly to a close and the score was a depressing 10-0 even after an entire hour of non-stop flying and that was only because the second team had Frank as a Keeper, my attention was turned to our Seekers who seemed to be the most incompetent. All they did the entire game was circle the pitch about a million times. Thankfully, mere minutes before the game ended Hugo stopped, swooped in and enclosed the Snitch inside his fist. These guys were going to get it from me for their utterly terrible playing, especially Tyler or TJ or whatever for his terrible Seeking.

"I am appalled at your incompetence in the sport after merely one summer! Except you Frank, keep doing exactly that."

**Word Count:- 1** **251**

_Love, Kale._


	12. Swish & Flick

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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I walked towards the small arch into the Charms classroom. It was aired out and the sunlight streamed in through the drawn curtains. Professor Flitwick was one of the only teachers who opened windows and actually let the outside in. When we entered, Professor was conveniently found perched at the top of a few stacked bookcases in the middle of the room; his total height amounted to about eight feet. He wore a long, grainy and brown tailcoat that stretched out for at least a metre behind him. In addition, he wore rather long and pointed formal shoes that were polished to perfection and were pitch black to match his -I don't mean to offend anyone- italian-styled moustache that seemed like it was combed by a tiny little brush that he carried in a small, jute pouch. The students began to file into the class, it was only the Gryffindors for Charms as usual. Maybe one odd year we were paired with the Ravenclaws but that was it. 

I was about to walk in, but right opposite me, there stood Sirius who looked like he had just seen a dementor or multiple. It was only when I turned around to see what he was staring at, when I realised it was way worse. It turns out it wasn't a dementor, it was the evil death spawn -as he described it occasionally- of a dementor and a ghoul: Regulus Black. Just to be clear, Walburga was the dementor. Regulus was the taller one in the family, not as tall as me but taller than Sirius. The contrast between the two brothers was astounding. Not just the clash of scarlet and green, but their antonymous styles: ruffled and messy suited Sirius but Regulus looked deliberately conformed and neat. It was quite hilarious looking at them together in fact. 

Their encounter was minimal, must like their relationship and I definitely felt bad for waiting back and awkwardly staring at them but guilt was easily brushed away. But Regulus didn't say a word. He stopped, and stared for a few but that was it. He walked past without a word. Sirius was weirdly unaffected by the meeting. He walked up to the door, and stopped right in front of me. 'What are you waiting for?' He spat it out, grit escaping along with it. I had strong urges to lunge forward and engulf him into a bone-crushing hug and tell him everything was going to be okay but all I could get out was 'nothing.'

We walked into the classroom, thankfully we were still on time even with the overly pleasant meet-and-greet and sat ourselves down next to the rest of the gang. Lily shot me a glance, I couldn't figure out what she was trying to tell me though for once in my life. Professor Flitwick's eyes followed us from the second we stepped into the class rather upset that we had prevented him from beginning early but when we didn't notice his gaze, he started his lesson. 

"Our first topic of the year is learning how to cast non-verbal spells. Which is why we are going back to our First Year curriculum." Of course. Non-verbal spells were the hardest section of the curriculum in Sixth Year, they required the most undivided concentration and I hate to admit it, but it was a trade I had not yet mastered. "To cast non-verbal spells, you can't just perform the incantation, you have to feel it inside you; feel the magic course through your veins and focus all of your energy on the spell you are trying to cast." His voice rose to a high pitched screech at the end of every sentence. But what he was doing was basically dictating the text by memory and I had tried it, I still couldn't do it. "We'll start with the Levitation Charm. No pressure to get it today. Let's begin."

I grabbed my wand in my right hand. A single, white feather was placed on the desk in front of me, not a speck of dirt present on it. A swish and a flick. It was the simplest of wand movements. My breath hitched at the base of my throat in an anxious strain. I took as deep a breath as I could and performed the amateurish version of a swish and flick. It was the most pathetic thing I had ever seen. I turned to my right where Lily was sat, her eyes in small balls and drawn in on the feather like a predator about to attack its next prey. Her hand was raised, executing a perfect swish and flick movement and through the silence -except the displaced air- the feather was lifted off the wooden surface. I swayed back and forth a few inches in the air before unintentionally falling out of the air. 

"Well done, Miss Evans. I assume you've been practicing. Good job." Lily smiled in disguised pride that wasn't hidden very well and began practicing once more. Then, I turned to my left. Sirius was invested in a very intriguing conversation with Peter on the other side about ideas for pranks. Then I turned behind me, James had just about began to get it; it just darted around his desk but it showed some sort of result unlike mine.

I stared at the feather again, this time, I had cleared my mind. 

_Swish and flick._

But to no avail.

**Word Count:-** **921**

_Love, Kale._


	13. Tryouts.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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"Mister Potter, Mister Black, your assignment?" Divination. In complete honesty I just took it for an easy pass; I hate Divination.

"Well actually, we were um, reading the stars last night and they um, told us not to do our homework." Her eyes narrowed down, latching onto my trembling orbs. "Or we would suffer mortal perish." Her eyelids eased before doing a full 180, transitioning from narrowed to widened. 

"The Grim?" Her voice shivered with fear, her jaw stuttered throughout the entire two words. 

"The Grim." I solemnly whispered back in an attempt to build tension. She nodded and moved on to collect papers from the other suckers. The whole act was routine by now, I hadn't done a single piece of Divination homework for an entire term last year. I always threw the blame on the stars, the weird ball, the tea leaves, or just postponing it until she forgot. The old hag had a memory chip the size of a dehydrated pea. 

"Very well class. I'll see you all in a few days." The students -clad only in their shirts and trousers because of the astoundingly harsh afternoon heat- filed out of the upper room perhaps to their dorms but of course I had to go straight to tryouts.

"Did you have to hold the tryouts the day after our first practice? I'm still sore!" James' incompetence in correctly scheduling out plans was utterly disturbing. The slightest relief rose from the fact that it wasn't sickeningly early in the day and I actually managed to have a full ten hours of sleep. 

"Yeah, I need a backup Seeker as soon as possible if we want even the tiniest possible chance of winning. Plus, you'll literally just have to stand there. Frank agreed to do everything." Thank Merlin. I honestly don't know how Frank is still well, alive and breathing after basically carrying the Chasers and being a kick-ass Keeper at the same time at yesterday's game. We slid down the ladder; the Divination classroom was moved at the beginning of the year and we had to ascend this truly bothersome stepladder for the entirety of one class so far and it was already killing me. How was I supposed to bear its agony for so much longer. 

As we neared the Quidditch pitch, the crowd of -mostly- new faces or just people I never cared enough to care about came into view. It consisted completely of overexcited wannabes that hoped they were me. Obviously. I mean my long, luscious hair would only be a welcome addition to my already amazing bod and killer Beater skills. 

We walked directly onto the grass, Frank was already waiting clad in his Quidditch attire -with the exception of his orange Converse- and broom in hand. The hordes gathered round in a semi-circle. 

"No Lily?" I whispered to him as he strode up gracefully and I clumsily stumbled behind, trying to keep my mouth near his ear. 

"No, but Remus is here. Makes up for it in a way. Especially since he didn't bring a book so he'll actually watch." He stopped at the centre of the half-circle and pulled his chest up when he stood, in a rather dominant manner. "Okay, people trying out for Chasers on my left." He made the gesture. "Keepers on my right." He pointed to his right. "And finally, Seekers in front. No, we are not looking for Beaters!" He nodded in front. Most of the students shuffled around to their respective areas, a few left looking either incredibly furious, unbelievably unhappy or both. Like, get over it.

I was pretty much rendered useless by the first five minutes of the tryouts so I walked up to the stands and sat next to Moony. "Mooooooooony!" He smiled without taking the effort to turn his head. It was one of the only times I had seen him without a book, parchment or twenty different types of chocolate. But apparently, I had spoken too soon; he extracted a chocolate from his robe pockets, tearing the thick and dark-coloured plastic wrapper and banishing it to another of his robe pockets. He took a bite. The chocolate coated wafer crunched under his molars. 

James had already begun the process, he had flown through the Chasers like Peter with, well any type of food. Moony and I just sat there, watching the scene of James screaming at people unfold before us. It was honestly, very awkward. I could tell he was all stiff and was trying his hardest not to move a muscle. I just assumed he was cold and I had a jacket. But I was cold too. Plus, he had chocolate to ease his pain. He'd be fine.

"Hey guys!" I jerked to the right where I saw Lily walking up the steps and toward us. I saw her mouth something. but not to me. Her gaze was pointed somewhere behind me; obviously at Moony. She -unlike Moony- had books with her. "How's tryouts going?" She strolled up and conveniently plopped herself between Moony and I breaking the sheet of tension present between us. I also noticed Peter had joined James on the pitch.

"Great. But don't let James see you, he will stop tryouts as soon as h-" 

"LILY? Okay guys, tryouts are over." By the law of Merlin, I knew this would happen.

"WHO'D YOU PICK?" 

"THIS GUY! APPARENTLY TJ HAD A SPORTY BROTHER HE'D BEEN HIDING AWAY!" He gestured to a tall and muscular -a little more muscular than me, not that I would admit it- guy: a Keeper. "NOW LET'S GO!" Well, I guess there was no changing his mind.

The three of us made our way down to the pitch, grouping together and we made our back through the grounds and to the castle. 

"Severus!" Lily's voice rose from within our mini crowd. And sure enough, as I turned toward where her face pointed, there stood the slime driven monster in all his glory. His sadistic and brazen colour schematic stuck out like a sore thumb against the lush, green backdrop. His long, straight hair was somehow thick and damaged while simultaneously dripping with grease and oils that looked and smelled from a distance like they were made of the dead carcasses of flightless crows who were only fed alcohol. Even the green part of his robes were so faded, they looked like they had been dyed black. The rest of his face looked indented in comparison to his mountainous nose. In fact, his entire small, lanky and creviced body looked like a misshapen spanner. It was almost sickening and the wafting stench of death and depression was in the still, summer air.

He looked up, searching the grounds for the source of the voice. His eyes settled on Lily and he began walking up toward us, rather reluctantly. There was an awkward minute that he spent walking up to us, with his head hung low in an obvious attempt to avoid our gazes.

"Hey Lils, hanging out with the losers again I see, oh and Remus." Moony gave a small wave and an eye roll that nobody else saw. 

"Shut up. Butt-Trumpet!" But no verbal reaction, just a few clouds of smoke out of his ears. 

"Why do you hang out with these gits. Stop polluting yourself with the wrong crowd!" The nerve, I tell you. The nerve! I would've taken him down right there if I didn't know Remus would hex me six ways from Sunday. James however, clearly didn't have the same concerns; he lunged forward in attack. His fist was about to make a huge impact with the creak that was Snape's face. He knew what was coming, he had moved to cover his face.

"Alligabis." But, there was no punch, no crack of bones. Nothing. Instead, his fist hung in mid air and was tethered and held back by elastic, stringy ropes that were tinted green and there stood Lily, her wand raised, her eyes furiously concentrated on Prongs; he was in some deep shit. Her mouth was drawn to a straight line. Some really deep shit. 

James retreated. "She's the one polluting herself?! You're one to talk!" Lily's face eased. 

"What is he talking about?" She asked but she already knew the answer. It was the reason she had instantly changed the subject on which her anger was focussed.

"Snivellus here has been hanging out with Malfoy again." Severus' smile -previously bright when Lily was mad at James- drooped when the words left his mouth. The beads of sweat, or gel and excessive oils, rolled down in anxiety and anticipation of her reaction. 

"What is he talking about? You told me you were done with them!" Her wand returned to her pocket and instead, her next weapon began her pointed, accusing index finger. 

"As much as I would love to see this go down, I'm afraid if Lily begins unleashing her full wrath, it'll set of a chain reaction and we'll be next." I whispered to Moony who was rather enjoying what was going on and bathing in the show but entertained my idea nonetheless. 

"You're right, we should just go."

**Word Count:- 1** **542**

_Love, Kale._


	14. Pining for the Innocent Devil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. Harriet's Collage  
> The cigarettes are to show her confirmed uniqueness in society if that makes any sense.  
> The Hufflepuff scarf is to symbolise her house pride.  
> The wall is pretty simple, it's to show her strength both emotionally and physically.  
> The lightning is to present her spontaneity and harshness.  
> The cat is just only because she's a cat person.  
> And finally the sky is to show her beauty and speciality but how everyone sort of is invested in their own issues to ever notice.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

****

_~LET'S GO~_

__

The heat was being particularly evil today and the greenhouse simply acted as an oven to substitute as a pawn in its games. The glass created for a blinding effect all around due to the sun overhead, watching over everyone and tormenting them just as much. Herbology this year was with the Hufflepuffs. They were always pleasant to be around, even though some of them were narcissistic jerks though no one would expect it.

Most of us Gryffindors however clumped together and stuck with our 'own kind'. And so did the Hufflepuffs so we simply had an unspoken agreement to stay on our own side of the room. Professor Beery was found at the end of the long row of potted plants with misshapen leaves and roots. He was his usual cheerful self, clothed in an attention-seeking, mustard yellow overcoat and and old, grey vest that had a random assortment of threads protruding in the oddest of places in an irking manner. His dedication to Hufflepuff was both admirable and unnecessarily extra.

"Good morning class, and how are all of you today?" He received -as usual- a rehearsed choir of 'good' from everyone. "Alright then, let's began!" His high-pitched voice that only raised in excitement at the end to create a deafening sound. "For today's lesson, we will be learning about Venomous Tentacula. Yay!" This was, in layman's terms, hell on Earth. He is way to high and over excited to be an educator. "A few pointers first: Venomous Tentacula expels venom from its shoots, and its spikes are deadly. Its bite is highly venomous and can _easily stun or kill._ Its juice is also a less than lethal poison. Which is why there are a few safety measures we are required to take." He stopped and went behind the shelves and stacks of pots, returning with a creepy headpiece the colour of crap in addition to a large article of clothing like a giant sized raincoat that looked like it had been slathered in mud and had dry leaves sewn in a camouflage pattern: it was hideous. "You will all wear these uniforms for your own protection."

"Aw hell no!" A Hufflepuff girl had spoken up. She was pretty pretty. She was standing opposite Remus on the other side of the table. She wore the correct uniform, but without her robes. She wore an enormous, yellow bow in her silky, brown hair with a few yellow streaks running down the sides. Furthermore, her skirt was short; shorter than usual. It was short enough to be scandalous but long enough to be legal. "I put work into this hair every morning and you expect me to render that entire hour of my morning just so I won't die. Oh, sweetie no." Professor Beery's smile dropped; he wasn't angry but he wasn't happy. 

"Miss Proveaux, either you wear it or I will be perfectly content with asking you leave and call you tonight for detention." I saw that _Miss Hufflepuff_ _Proveaux_ had actually began packing away her gloves. "But I must inform you that Venomous Tentacula will be included in your NEWTs next year." She stopped halfway and began unpacking, sending a threatening glare in his direction which he promptly ignored.

The entire mixed class went to the back to grab one of those 'whatever they are's. "Before I forget, students are permitted to swear loudly if a Tentacula tries to strangle them during lessons. Also, only in an emergency, a Severing Charm can be used to both stun the plant and sever its vines. Let's get started." Awesome.

He began some detailed hypothesis, or thesis or some crap but I had more important deeds to pursue or rather a very important tradition to uphold. "Hey Lily, I was just wondering."

"Oh Merlin, please don't." 

"Maybe sometime you and I co-" 

"No." Rude.

"You didn't even let me go an extra syllable this time!" But hey, I remember the days where I couldn't even say her name without being shut down so I guess I can't really complain.

"FUCKING SHIT!" About halfway through the class, me and Sirius began to randomly swear for no apparent reason. But we had a pass so technically, we were untouchable. "MERLIN'S BALLS!"

But through the curses, I realised something: Remus -for once- was not speaking. Peter and Sirius were in some hushed conversation about, you guessed it, the Prank Wars after he stopped the swears. We really needed more ideas for that but back to the point: Remus wasn't talking. It was actually quiet, I may have just stumbled upon a once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon. But when I looked over to him, I discovered the truth: he was totally ogling _Miss I'm-an-innocent-devil._

I didn't want to cause a commotion or a scene so I discreetly pulled him to the side. It wasn't often that I found out something before anyone else, especially Lily and I was not ashamed to take a buttload of pride in it. "You got it bad, don't you." I tried to play it cool and hold in a smile but the content was basically bursting out of me. 

"Somehow, I have lost you already." 

"You know the Hair Bow Babe that you were totally checking out." It was the first time I had seen Moony blush. Like ever. And it was a sight to behold. His cheeks reddened uncontrollably in a rapid fashion and he got all flustered and looked away in embarrassment. It was rather funny. "Come on, go ask her out."

"No. I've never done that." He whisper yelled in response. 

"Just do it!" I actually yelled receiving questioning glares form everyone in the room except for Professor weirdly enough who was probably in his own, personal world of sunshine and rainbows. But, my little loud outburst had of course prevented the Marauders plus Lily from minding their own business and decided to pitch into our argument, if you could call it that. 

"Okay, what's going on?" Lily was obviously the first one to intervene as the usual butt in-er. 

"Remus has a crush on that Hufflepuff girl and I'm telling him to ask her out because he's never had a girlfriend." Lily laughed under her breath for some reason and I couldn't help but feel I was missing something.

Nah!

**Word Count:- 1** **149**

_Love, Kale._


	15. Balls.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

__

We were all in the Gryffindor Common Room after Herbology which was thankfully the last class of the day because I really don't think I could've studied any more after dealing with the treacherous Tentacula. It was loud, louder than usual because it was obviously the weekend, if that was any excuse to stay up late doing absolutely nothing. Thankfully, if there were any parties going down, they took place in the boys' dormitory. Don't ask why, perhaps the _House of the Brave_ likes being unpredictable. Mostly everyone was minding their own business, except of course the group I was in. They were all huddled up on the couch, whispering about some unnecessary topic that would in no way benefit them or anyone else. Sirius was clothed in his very distracting Quidditch gear because he wanted to show off how he had washed it himself because apparently that was an achievement. Frank was the only absent one but I wasn't focussed on the group or the _Converse addict_. All of my attention was needed for the task at hand: non-verbal spells. I was determined to get it right this time, no matter the situation. I placed my feather quill on the carpeted floor directly in front of me. I was sat on the floor too. 

'Nevermind the sheer stupidity in having wild congregations around you and ignore the noise. You can do this!' I told myself. 'And especially don't pay any more attention to Sirius and his hot ass in that tight Quidditch uniform'. I had faith and that was enough at the best of times so there was no reason why it wouldn't be enough now. I crossed my legs sitting down in a more comfortable position and pulled my wand out hastily. The chatters coming from my ever so lively friend group increased with every small movement, every shiver of excitement, every flinch in anxiety and every quiver in anticipation. I pointed my wand at the quill; I was prepared. I was going to do it. My wand stayed raised in the air for what felt like a millennium as I concentrated all of my energy on that one object. Every bead of sweat that rolled down that was noticed was just a reminder of how I was still not paying enough attention to the feather. My jaw trembled as I tried not to work on instinct and mutter an incantation. 

I was ready.

_Swish and_ _Fl_ _-_

"REMUS! WE NEED TO TALK! Ow." James erupted. I didn't jerk my head, I just closed my eyes, trying to control the fumes from escaping my nostrils. His timing was just impeccable. I looked over slowly, my eyebrows were etched into a straight line in rage. I noticed that everyone in the room was now either staring at James: the source of the noise or me: the target. My lower jaw was biting into my teeth because I knew if I opened my mouth, I would blow like a volcano. Thankfully, I had a soft spot for James. I saw Lily was also mad about the drawn faces but she had resorted to violence unlike me. 

"What." I spoke through gritted teeth. Alice was the first to talk; they supposedly caught my irritation. Her light violet hair shone under the dimmed lighting and terribly contrasted the scarlet and gold colours. 

"So we were talkin-"

"I'm aware(a were)." The Marauders had descended into short fits of laughter like the children they were but I was able to shut them up with a glare except Sirius who was fulfilling his lifelong dream of being a toddler. I realised I came off slightly antsy but I had every right to be upset. Sort of. 

"Yes. So remember that girl that you were talking to?" Her slurred words collided with each other lightly, blending syllables and unrecognizable letters but she got her point across. The girl was always just a little bit tipsy, she said it gave her 'an edge and made living bearable'. She was found, no different than any other time, with a wine glass in her hand with a liquid that had been charmed purple for 'aesthetic reasons' which I never really understood. The minimal alcohol in the drink ensured she was never too drunk for the professors to find out but drunk enough so that if the teachers did find out, she wouldn't care. But returning to the point, I knew exactly which girl they were talking about, one Miss Proveaux. A very intriguing name for a very intriguing girl. Though to me, most French last names were sophisticated. In addition to knowing what they were talking about, I knew what they were going to say. But I played along, like the good sport I strived to be, replying with a drawn out 'yeahhhhh' trying to seem bewildered. 

"You should ask her out, Moony." I knew Lily was right, my preferred was, well males. But every once in a while, I found myself with a sudden, dire attraction to a girl so when Sirius, with his uncontrollable excitement screamed out his every word, I was one step ahead of them. I had actually found the confidence to say something. When it came to girls I like -because it was rarer than often- I just lose every shred of self assurance I ever owned and bail. I get nervous, my palms get sweaty and I can't seem to speak words. But this time, I just manned up and went for it and thankfully she said yes else what little self-esteem I had would have been permanently diminished. But why tell them?

"I already did. She said yes." I spoke in pride, my nose in the air the slightest bit. 

I looked at each of them in amusement: they were shook. I guess their minds couldn't possibly conceive that me -innocent little ReRe- had actually gone and asked a hot girl on a date. I was surprised myself. Even Lily stared at me like I had grown an extra head.

But I hadn't grown a head, I had grown balls. 

**Word Count:- 10** **25**

_Love, Kale._


	16. Orientation Express.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

****

_~LET'S GO~_

__

Date night. 

I hadn't been on a date with a girl since Mary MacDonald -one of Lily's friend- last year who was incredibly rude and homophobic the entire time, so that wasn't exactly ideal. But I prayed that Miss Proveaux was different. Speaking of, it didn't occur to me when I asked her out, to get her first name, which meant I had to find out tonight. Awkward.

_I ran out after her; she left first fed up with everything related to Herbology. She seemed upset but hopefully that didn't impact her decision. The sun had dimmed, credit to the clouds so I didn't have to squint. Whatever shred of confidence I had was mustered into one blob to ask one question. She was a fast walker, and since she didn't have robes to get snagged in any bushes, she had a massive head start._   
_"Hey, wait up!" She turned thankfully and caught my eye much to my satisfaction. She had really good hearing. She stood in place, clutching what few materials she had close to her half visible brassiere. She tapped her foot in amused anticipation and the edge of her mouth had perked up sideways. She was clearly enjoying having me pine after her and she wasn't afraid to show it. I stopped right in front, out of breath for the most part and I failed at trying not to rest with my arms on my knees. From then, I realised I also had to say something and not just stand there like an idiot like I had originally planned._ _So, I stood up; the last of my leftover adrenaline being put to use._ _"You have really good hearing, wow. But anyway, I was um- w-wonder wondering if you wanted to-uh. Go on uh a-uh d- date sometime? Maybe? If you want to?" I can't even remember the last time I had stuttered. Thankfully, she was the only one there to witness me in my moment of weakness and hopefully she wouldn't tell a soul. She giggled and my clumsiness. Her laugh was beautiful and it gave me goosebumps. She managed to control her chuckles to get out her answer._   
_"Sure. I'll owl you."_

In addition to me not knowing her name, I was also freaking out. We had decided to meet on top of the Astrology Tower. It was common date night territory among Gryffindors but I ensured no one else would be using it. And just to make sure it went well, I packed a small picnic because that is apparently my go to. It was small because I threw it together last minute after internally panicking for two hours. The next think I was freaking out about was what to wear. Usually, I was on top of this part of the 'getting ready part' of the evening but I had actually had to get Lily to help him with his wardrobe. Like honestly. Sirius had better fashion sense. I settled on my newest maroon jumper: a classic. Hopefully she found me nerdy-hot or something. Here's hoping.

The time we had set was eight in the evening which was perfect actually. But I had to leave early to set up the food and candles to help with the darkness. She arrived a bit later. Her pleasant surprise -if it was existent- was very well hidden. She hadn't actually changed her clothes either, she still wore her shirt and insanely short skirt with the same oversized yellow bow. There was one thing that was different about her though: she had a cat. It had oak brown fur with faded black stripes. I seemed incredibly attached to Lady Proveaux.

"Hey Remus. This is Lady Proveaux." Lucky coincidence. I tried to strike a conversation but whatever small confabs I struck, she shut down completely. In fact, she was acting all awkward and stiff and just overall weird. Lady Proveaux just roamed around, slinking in between us and seeking attention. She even jumped into my hair at some point, probably thinking it was a nest it something.

Anyway, after any remote idea I had for a convo was diminished, a silence dominated the room. I stared at the grounds below trying to fill the time. It was clear there was some kind of sport going on in the Quidditch pitch; it looked like Muggle football but the only person I could identify successfully was Frank. I never understood his obsession with Muggle sports, being a pureblooded wizard and all.

I stared into the blank darkness once more, scavenging for a new topic to occupy my thoughts. A little closer to the Forest, in the pitch dark, I saw Lily and Severus. They sat in the damp grass, talking or arguing or something. I couldn't tell. 

"Okay, this is kind of embarrassing but I kinda never caught your name." My question was very it of the blue but she remained calm. She looked at me, with an amused smile.

"I was waiting for you to ask. My name's Harriet Helga. Named after the founder herself." I stared at her in bewilderment. Harriet Helga? "No what you expected huh?" I shook my head in slight shame. "I get that a lot."

"It's a compliment." She smiled again, making my heart flutter. 

"I actually need to tell you something. There's a reason I said yes to your offer of a date and it wasn't to start a relationship." I didn't know what to feel. I was intrigued, but I was also scared in some way? "Listen, remember your last Potions Class?" Yeah. "Well, I was there. Don't ask why." Okay? This isn't helping extinguish my fear. "And as you know how I know French and I heard you're little conversation with your little red head friend. Well, I said yes because I'm gay too." I forced out a faux laugh but 'how the hell is she gay and how the hell didn't I notice?!' Damn my non-existent gaydar.

'Woah. Wasn't expecting that. But just to be clear, I'm bisexual. I actually liked you." She chuckled. We had been doing that a lot lately. Which I had taken as a good sign but maybe she was just mocking my broken gaydar and my feeble attempts at flirting. Talk about a bad date.

But. hey at least I made a new friend...

...because I didn't already have enough.

Though, she would be the only gay friend I had -bicuriosity excluded for obvious reasons- and it would be great to have one. No offence to Lily.

**Word Count:-** **11** **00**

_Love, Kale._


	17. Hetero Confusion.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

****

_~LET'S GO~_

_**Warning:** Pre-smut ish with heteros_

__

"Let's go somewhere a little more private before someone walks in."

The pink laced lingerie hung to her clear skin, outlining her curves and perfections. The fuschia overcoat lay on the floor behind her from being discarded a few minutes earlier. Her furry, flamingo boots stayed on her feet. The metal souls clanked under the tile when she strut, displaying herself like a prize I had won. Her outgrown, blonde hair flowed down the front of her semi nude body, shadowing her collarbones. Her hands, which seemed to be the most clothed area of her body, roamed all over her in baby pink, plastic gloves creating a sexual friction between the skin and unnatural material. As the echo of her footsteps sound through the confined room, her breath lingered on the side of my neck, sending shivers shooting down my spine like lightning bolts striking my already quivering bones. Her whispering of sexy gibberish near my earlobe lingered in the dancing heat. I was at a loss for words at what to do next. I stuttered out a shaky 'ye- yeah y-eah' as she combed her hands through my locks. She was capital H, HOT! I had no words to describe the excitement I felt through my skin, giving me goosebumps.

I had no idea how we had reached this point; I was pretty sure we had broken off whatever 'relationship' we had on the Hogwarts Express but instead, here she was, wearing only a range of pink accessories, practically begging me to have sex with her.

Sex. Sexual relations. Intercourse. Fornication. Such a taboo idea. It could mean so many different things to so many different people. What did it mean to me? It was the trademark for the beginning of a relationship, no matter how short lived said relationship is. It was the introductory act. It was the gateway to get to 'know' someone. It was the first impression you made when you met a girl and it showed confidence and vulnerability like nothing else could. I was a necessary evil as I knew it ever since it was painstakingly described by TJ about his excruciating first sexual encounter with a woman.

"Yeah. The usual?" I managed to finally get complete words and an improper sentence out; it was progress.

"Why change tradition?"

She pulled on her coat, covering up her treasures before I could take another quick sneak peak, much to my protest. I had so much adrenaline rush to my legs as we ran up the stone staircases, our inaudible footsteps leaving little proof of our presence. I felt the blood hastily rush to my cheeks, reddening them. Thankfully, it was too dark for her to notice. As we reached the top of the flight, I felt like all the blood in my _entire body_ had rushed to make me blush. And it succeeded. I felt my body beginning to sway as though intoxicated, my feet stumbling and tripping as Amelia's lips latched onto any body part they could find and sucked like their life depended on it. Quiet moans escaped from throat in response to the new sensation. Her breathing jarred from time to time, catching her breath.

We had reached the top, stumbling upward as we ascended the last few stairs. But suddenly, Amelia stopped in her tracks, but didn't restrict her wavering movement. I looked up in heavy curiosity: Remus. Shit. He had mentioned something about not going to the Astronomy Tower for one day and I may have just broken a promise and done the one thing he asked me to do apart from 'stop being such a wanker' and 'shut up'. Hopefully, he would forgive me because I was about to get hella lucky and also, I noticed he and the Hufflepuff girl -who was staring oddly in our general direction, obviously at me- were just about done packing up. Fingers crossed.

They walked toward the staircase, which was consequently right near us. Remus stopped in front of me, as though looking for the words. I thought about saying something of an apology but decided against it; simply walking past with a sigh. But I didn't really have time to respond to his blatant disappointment because before I knew it, I was being pulled down against a soft and smooth surface: her boobs. They were...big, to say the least and...plump? Her arm had latched itself onto my wrist and aggressively pulled it onto her breast.

The -already see through- bra had been all too willingly ripped off along with my favourite shirt and the rest of whatever she wore had been discarded into oblivion. Both of our shoes stayed on, for an unknown reason. She had somehow managed to undo my leather belt in the time span of a few mere seconds and pulled down my pants to reveal my pale maroon boxer briefs that clung to my bare skin outlining my 'curves'.

"Oooh." Her sudden sound had startled me as I realised it was the first sound from either of us during the time-consuming fabric-discarding process. She laid down fully on the ground, her back hitting the cold stone but she elicited no reaction. My warm figure was pressed closely against her cold-blooded body.

The next ten minutes was wasted with a heavy make-out session. The entire ordeal caused gluttoral groans to be elicited from time to time as she roamed up and down my muscular body, sexually pinching and grabbing at my bare ass under my boxers. The constant love bites actually became less and less enjoyable each time she did it, and she did it a lot. Her legs wrapped themselves around my lower body and she thrust upward into my crotch during the entire thing, I desperately hoped she didn't notice my feeble attempts at stalling. Truth was, Little Paddy wasn't working. No matter how hard I tried -pun intended- or whoever I thought of, the front of my boxers remained as flat as a baby Billywig's butt. It was going to be soon when she began to get suspicious so I looked around for her underwear for some kind of inspiration. My head whipped around in different directions, but something else caught my eye, something other than Snivellus and Lily's 'date', it was the Quidditch Pitch. There was a band of shirtless boys wearing blue boxer shorts.

"Mhmm. Let's get started."

Amelia's voice snapped me out of my trance, rubbing her shaved thigh against my -much to my surprise- hardened yet clothed member. Her long fingernails ran down from my chest, to the elastic material and began tugging.

"I have to go." It was in a whisper. I didn't even notice I had said it until a few seconds after when my body caught up to my conflicted mind, It was then I also noticed the scowl on her face. But I didn't wait for her to react, I grabbed my clothes and the torn shirt and bolted toward the dormitory in a pursuit for some peace.

I am so confused. What is happening?

I am so confused. What is?

I am so confused. What?

I am so confused.

I am.

I

**Word Count:- 1** **214**

_Love, Kale._


	18. Feline Fetish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. James' collage.  
> The fire is to symbolise his roaring and exciting soul and how he's full of life. Also he's really hot.  
> Yet like the shells, he's also very delicate which is what people don't realise and he can break sometimes. Also he's really beautiful.  
> The Snitch is not only for Quidditch because I'm pretty sure he was a Chaser, but because he is constantly seeking Lily's love and affection. But also Quidditch.  
> The deer is obviously his animagus and the guy is him but imagine that guy just a little hotter.  
> And lastly, the feeling when you're in a dense and foggy forest, kind of humid yet warm and comfortable is the atmosphere and smell he brings wherever he goes.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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I was having a very peaceful evening of self-plotting and prank schemes while Peter had managed to score himself a date with Mary MacDonald, much to everyone's surprise. Usually, I'd be off on Prefect rounds but, that had ended rather quickly. Remus was currently out with my beloved flower, probably telling her about his date and how perfect it went and Sirius had abruptly disappeared after receiving a sketchy note...and I can't find the energy to go out and see if he's dead. Back to the point, like I was saying, a very calm evening until of course disruption, disruption, disruption. The portrait door burst open, revealing an out-of-breath Sirius Orion Black in all his sweaty glory. And I just knew, that he wanted to either talk my ear off or go prank someone.

But that's not what happened.

"Okay, what is it?" I asked, honestly feeling a little relieved that I didn't have to spend an entire evening scheming alone. I mean, sure I have loads of homework overdue but that can wait. Anything for Sirius and the chick that did this to him.

"Nothing. Ihavetogotobednow. Goodnight." He spoke very fast and power walked toward our dormitory. Now, that I had taken the time to look at him, I noticed a few things. His shirt seemed all ripped and battered, almost as if it was the victim of a shabby Repairing Charm and he wasn't smiling, which was weird especially when he was around me.. And lastly, and the most important by far: his hair was disheveled. Forget seldom, this had never happened and would probably never happen again. I was about to chase after him when the door burst open once more, revealing a bubbly Remus and a perfect-as-ever Lily Evans.

"Hey, do you guys know what happened to Sirius?" They looked at me oddly, seemingly in mild confusion so I continued. "He burst in here, all flustered and get this, his hair was messy."

I heard gasps as they both moved to cover their mouths in shock. Remus, I then noticed was holding a basket and still wearing his fanciest jumper. "Oh hey, how was the date?" I saw him glance at Lily, even flashing a small smile to which she responded by walking up to Alice on the other side of the room and striking a conversation; probably about hair. "What was that for?"

"So, obviously I had to tell Lily how it went because if I didn't, she would have manipulated me to but I really wanted to talk to you because you know, you're the type of person who could help me." Interest piqued. I wonder what could have gone on during the date that he wanted to tell me about but honestly, just the fact that he wanted to get it out so badly was kind of touching. And I needed that after Sirius' indecency to even talk.

"Woah, should I be scared?" I joked, flashing on of my brilliant smiles in the process. But he didn't laugh.

"A little." I chuckled a bit before realising he was being serious. "Okay, just listen. It was going fine at first, we ate, sat awkwardly, she told me a major secret, nothing big." He looked like he was holding something back but I didn't pry, my curiosity was itching. "But then, she got insanely intimate w-"

"All right Moony, did you have your first kiss?!" This could be a great moment. Moony's first kiss! Exciting.

"Let me finish." My buzz died down, okay maybe it wasn't his first kiss but it was still his first date. There would be plenty of time for other firsts, he was only 16. "Insanely intimate with her cat." I-what, sh-what, cat? With all of Sirius' long history of girlfriends, I though I had seen is all: foot fetish, necromaniac, electrostimulation, objectum sexuality, spectrophilia and basically ever possible obsession but never, in all my years of best friend's dates have I ever heard of a cat kink. Like what the fuck. I simply sat there awkwardly, my mouth subconsciously hung itself open as I stared blankly. "Yep." He avoided my gaze.

"How intimate, exactly?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure they made out when I wasn't looking and a little bit when I was looking. Also, that cat went to crazy lengths to- I'm just gonna leave that part out and also, she brought sandwiches and I'm about 80% sure they were just cat food in white bread and butter." Puke officially invoked. "Yeah I stopped on way up to barf!" Yeah, Remus has a terrible gut with all the werewolf thing and all. But honestly, you don't need a bad gut to puke after eating cat food. "So, all in all, I had a terrible date, not to mention Sirius barging in at the end with Amelia who was in some weird pink sex costume thing."

"Amelia?! I told him to stay away from that bitch! The note must have been from her!"

"Don't swear. What note?" It was his turn to be confused, so I relayed the story back to him, the long story that comprised of 'he got a note, was surprised and then left' but it intrigued him nevertheless.

Then, Alice and Lily came over assuming we had finished our conversation presumably. I felt bad I couldn't give Remus any advice but what do you tell a guy who just took a cat food eating, fur-loving, kinky girl on a date in school. Alice plopped herself on the floor, a purple guitar replacing the wine glass in her hand; it was all part of her 'aesthetic' and Lily sat between me and Remus which was progress because she would usually sit on the other end. I mean, she leaned against Remus but progress is progress.

"Whatcha talking about?" Alice began, the soft hum of a melody playing in the background. "Oh right, how was your date?" She sparked suddenly.

"I think I'm going to have to break up with her." Doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

**Word Count:- 1** **146**

_Love, Kale._


	19. AWOL

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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"Have you spoken to him at all?" 

The courtyard was packed which was unusual in the middle of the week. It was buzzing with excitement for Halloween that was merely weeks away even though the staff hadn't even begun putting any form of decoration up except the pumpkin stickers Professor McGonagall left in the oddest of places for no apparent reason except for her own amusement. The noise came from every direction possible, no matter where we sat or in what position. James and I were sat on one of the ledges, not talking, just silently sitting with each other, comfortable for the immediate company. We were waiting for Peter but with the first prank approaching, I doubted his arrival. He was incredibly serious when it came to pranks, for some reason and even though his partner was missing, it wouldn't get in his way of winning. The throngs generated various different noises around us but my concentrated mind blocked out any unwanted din. Sirius was the only thing in my mind, after he came stumbling into my date -which I wasn't really mad about, I could never stay mad at him with a clear conscience- I hadn't seen him. AND IT HAD BEEN TWO WEEKS! Sure after I was asleep, he came tripping into the dorm, and there was the awkward moments when we were paired together for projects, forcing his attention but he hadn't said a word to me in two weeks and to put it bluntly: I'm worried. He hasn't ever gone AWOL like this ever before and sure, my own romantic emotion may have greatly impacted my worry -not the point- and Sirius and I may not be as close as I wished we were but in my defence, James felt the same way and those two were close enough to be lovers. So, it may have been understandable if Sirius didn't talk to me, but to James? Something had to be terribly wrong. What was worse was that he had been skipping classes. Usually I was able to coax him into going when he pretended he wanted to bunk to uphold his 'bad boy' image that no one else cared to notice, but with me not talking to him, it seemed he didn't care enough any more. His grades would soon start slipping if someone didn't do something. 

The worst of the worse-case scenarios accompanied me and aided in my agony from time-to-time. Was it something to do with his family? The fact that he hates them would explain why he kept it from us and as much as Sirius doesn't want to admit to himself, he does in fact have the basic dose of care and affection reserved from them. They were his family, he was practically biologically wired to love them, no matter how much pain -emotionally and physically- they had caused him. Was it something to do with Regulus? He was one of Sirius' many weaknesses and his most precious attachments to his beloved family. Or perhaps something happened to him? Whatever it was, it was affecting him deeply. 

His internal suffering stretched to the point where he didn't even show up for events. By events, I obviously mean the scheduled Quidditch practices and the overly-organised -by me- picnics between our friend groups. It was decently understandable that he didn't want to hang around in a tense silence with friends while he was going through a traumatic period of time. But Quidditch? Everyone knows that participation in regular physical activity -in this case, Quidditch- can increase self-esteem and reduce stress and anxiety. I mean, duh. Furthermore, Sirius was a rather crucial part of the team, and was easily the best Beater they had and of course with the Slytherin match less than a month away, James needed him,not just as a friend but as a player. Without a good Beater, several team members could get badly injured which would inevitably lead to their loss. It was a negatively impactful chain reaction, and one that neither of us wanted to have to face anytime soon. 

Another thing that you would have been incompetently stupid to ignore was his new best friend: Amelia Roper. When I say best friend, I obviously mean bitchy ex-girlfriend who is toxic af and seduces every guy in sight. She's had her eye on Sirius ever since last year when she became such a slag out of nowhere. It was obvious that when she and Sirius came to a joint class together, her with her dainty locks all over the place like the domesticated love child of a wild bush and a crow's nest, smudged lip gloss and mascara and him with his dirty curls all forced down in a feeble attempt to hurriedly look innocent enough for class, that they had been doing more than just talking. It hurt to even think about but life was painful as I had to learn at a very early age and I would leave school and hopefully forget about him completely, well not completely, I would still love to be friends but I would get over him. 

It would happen someday.

And until then, I was simply going to have to suck it up and watch as every day, he returned with a new love bite temporarily plastered on his skin and not be able to do a single thing. I would be forced to crane my neck during class to see him topple into the door with a new twig caught in the mass he calls his hair. I would be coerced to sit in a tortured silence with him in the Great Hall while he dragged the Ravenclaw girl to sit with him and mutter affectionate profanities in each others' ears while he ignored his true friends in a futile attempt to make himself forget whatever it was he wanted to forget. I would have to forget.

"No."

**Word Count:- 10** **01**

_Love, Kale._


	20. Progress.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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Another full moon and Sirius still hadn't returned. He simply ghosted around aimlessly, reappearing every other day. I just hoped Remus wasn't too affected by his absence. The Marauders worked like a delicate and intricate system in which was extremely reliant and Sirius not being there could have ramifications especially during that time of the month. That's why this month, I decided to take some extra, precautionary measures. Whether it was bringing him some extra chocolate to calm him down before he turned or leaving a few random cups of hot cocoa near his bed. Just anything really, that might help ease the pain. Lily had her incessant requests to tag along, ones that I immediately shut down, unfortunately she didn't listen so I'm half afraid we would reach the Shrieking Shack and she would be waiting there to greet us with open arms. 

"James, as much as I love the cocoa, I think 15 is enough for one day." I watched as Remus came trudging into the Common Room, another tall glass of half-full cocoa clutched in his right hand. 

"Then why did you drink half of it?" He plopped himself down next to me, placing the glass down gently on the coffee table in front and reached his hand out to mess up my hair, muttering an ashamed 'you know chocolate's my weakness'. We just sat there which seemed to be happening quite a lot since Sirius but none of us pointed it out ever, we just went on with our day. Of course, our content silence was disturbed by the one and only, Miss Lily Evans, not that I was complaining, but as of right now -with Sirius gone and everything- the full moon was top priority. 

"What's up, losers?" She sprawled herself dramatically over the couch in a pursuit for attention. Then, she extracted a bar of chocolate from her robes and handed it to Remus who just thanked her. What a joke.

"Amateur." I then proceeded to flood Remus with the various chocolates I had bought and reserved and stored for when necessary in my robes. And though it didn't happen easily, I swear Remus was speechless, as was Lily who I bet was ashamed, not that I wanted her to be. Somehow, my chocolate ocean didn't attract spectators, but Remus was like a 3 year old child who had just been given, well loads of chocolate. 

"Oh my God James, when did you do this?! You really didn't have too, but thank you so much!!!" I shrugged it off while he hugged me and since Remus was temporarily distracted, I thought it a perfect time to act all adorable in front of Evans. I would be all cute and cuddly and she would immediately fall into my arms and profess her undying love for me and we would fly off into the sunset to get married on the Sun.

"So Lily, maybe s-"

"How did I not see this coming? No!" That was rather rude. But thankfully, the pain and hurt subsided after a while and you grew impervious to it after a while. I don't know why she didn't just go for a drink and give me a chance. Then she would see that all I wanted to do was love her. And the flying off into the sunset would be a bonus but the concentrated rays through my glasses might burn my eyes so maybe not. "By the way, we should really be going. So, um just collect the chocolate and let's be on our way. Oh, we have to get Peter too." Peter had already mentioned he would meet us on the grounds so I collected all the bars and we began our way down to the Whomping Willow, close to which Peter stood. It was still light out and there were a few stragglers present so we decided to wait. I had the Cloak stuffed hastily into my pocket so we all went behind a bush and snuck under it. The air was colder tonight and there was a slight drizzle but with a quick Impervius Charm, it didn't affect the thin cloth as we snuck inside which I hadn't estimated would be harder with two people.

Lily had obviously never been into the Shrieking Shack so the claw marks and scratches took her a bit by surprise. I found her eagerness and curiosity rather cute. Her quaint and delicate mannerisms showed as she gently ran her smooth fingers over the tainted walls and how her stride looked the slightest bit more sulky or how her breath swam away from her into the cold air. I liked the way her eyes closed for a few seconds every time her fingertips ran over a claw mark or the way her cheeks reddened when a particularly chilly gust of air blew in through the holes and ridges or how she stopped in mild fear when a floorboard creaked under her shoes and how her footsteps got heavier with the descent down the hallway to the main room. But her new presence in accompaniment with Sirius who's absence I still hadn't brought myself to believe, it made for a contrasting ambiance in comparison to prior experiences. 

The atmosphere was different, it was almost too quiet to be true. There were no sarcastic comments to help ease the tension, there was no one to deliberately stumble over protruding pieces of decaying wood to make the rest of us forget -even momentarily- the situation. There was no one to sit at the piano with Remus and 'tickle the ivories' to make music. 

And lastly, and most importantly, there was no one to remind me that Remus was going to be okay; that he dealt with it most of his life and that he would do it again.

"Is that blood." It was less of a question but enough to pull me out of my thoughts. We had reached the end of the hallway. Lily seemed a bit shaken up. 

"Just focus of the positives: the piano, Remus, chocolate, Peter..." I approached her slowly to make sure she wouldn't push me away. I caressed her arms in encouragement to ignore the gore. I whispered into her ear the positive aspects in the room. When she whispered back.

"...you." I would say my heart skipped a beat if I could feel it at all anymore. It seemed that with a single word, she had nabbed it; or should I say, I had offered it to her willingly. 

And suddenly, my thoughts and worries had come to a much-needed halt. They hadn't vanished, but they had paused and with that, I was content enough.

**Word Count:- 1** **123**

_Love, Kale._


	21. Déjà Vu

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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I woke up to the indefinitely incessant and annoying sound of chewing right in my face. I didn't open my eyes yet, I could feel the heat of the dawn creep up my arms and I knew the brightness would be too much to handle immediately. As all of my senses -except eyesight- were restored, I could feel a presence next to me: the obvious source of the chewing. I felt the warmth radiating from their body, I heard the constant hum of munching come from above, I smelt the unmistakable scent of freshly baked pumpkin pasties and I tasted the sweet crust on the tip of my tongue.

Wait what?

My head shot up in surprise, my mouth had already began breaking up the delicious pastry but I still couldn't suppress a groan as pain shot through my scratched limbs. It was sheer agony an I was afraid to say I had gotten used to it. Nevertheless, I gathered up enough energy to tilt my head and squint open my eyelids. They revealed a boy. He sat on the bed next to me on my left with a slinking posture and awkwardly bent legs, munching his piece of the pasty. He wore plain, black, skinny jeans that hugged his rather muscle-y legs and were rolled up tightly near his ankles and a generic coloured tee that seemed like a desperate attempt at conformity. The sunlight, now independently streaming into the room blinded me so I didn't get a good look at his face or hair. Luckily, I still had a pristine view of his legs and in particular a pastel blue and pink band around his ankle that gave enough away for me to know who he was. Such recent déjà vu.

"TJ?" He stood up to help me sit up against the wall with minimal pain, blocking up the light's path and silhouetting his figure but I could now see his face. He had dirty blond hair that was always combed but still had life. He owned a pair of the most beautiful teal eyes that glistened in the presence of natural light and his already pink lips shined with a new level of polish making it evident he was partaking in the excessive use of lip balm. "What are you doing here?" He sat back down quietly and looked out the window; for a second I thought he was ignoring me but finally he spoke.

"I don't know, I had to see you." His flattering words did close to nothing to help piece the puzzle of his presence. 

"I gathered. I also noticed you still have the anklet I gave you which is curious because I'm rather sure you promised me you would burn it like I asked as a metaphor for how our relationship went up in flames." He chuckled at God knows what, but in any case it was clear he was trying to look cute in a conventional sense with his slightly ruffled hair and his constant arm touches for no reason. And how he tried to adorably stuff a treat into my mouth. It was sickening to me, mostly because it was him. 

"Yes well it meant too much to me and I thought maybe someday you would thank me for it." Excuse you? 

"What's that supposed to mean, we are not getting back together no matter how much you manifest it if that is what you're insinuating." There was an extremely valid reason that our relationship fell amongst the 'didn't work out' pile.

"You don't know that!" He was whisper screaming even though there was no one in the room except the two of us and Madam Pomfrey -as everyone knew- was a heavy sleeper. "But, that wasn't why I came. I just wanted to make sure you don't hate me." He spoke in an unrecognizable tone, while purposely looking down at the floor for another try at the 'cute' thing. But his words pissed me off.

"Okay, for the last time, NO! I do not hate you!" I began whisper screaming as well for no reason except that I felt obliged to. 

"Then why did you break up with me? Was it because I was fat, because I've been working out."

"Because of this! The constant insecurity."

"But-"

"NO! I am talking now. The whole relationship was just you going 'do I look too fat in this?' or 'does this make my arms look scrawny?' and me disagreeing with you. And I put up with it because I focused on all the good aspects of the relationship. How romantic you were, with all your flowers and chocolate and late dates under the stars. But someday, you must have known that I would eventually grow weary of the repetitive asking if I'm breaking up with you and your need for validation. I tried, really I did to help you become proud of how you looked at felt but it was all wasted! I couldn't take it anymore, insecure can't date insecure, they'll just ball up into a pit of self deprecation! But even after all that, no. There's your answer, no. I can't bring myself to hate you. You were, and will always be my first love and my first time and that still means something to me. But these futile conversations we have when you come begging when at this point, you could have any gay in school? These have got to stop. Because I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry, but I can't." I had made my peace. I had said all I wanted to say and nothing more could be done. I looked up at him and he wasn't shaken up or surprised like I expected him to be, he was actually acting rather smitten and whatever it was, I'm not sure I wanted to know.

Then suddenly, I felt hands grab the sides of my face and in another second, I felt the all-too-familiar feel of lips on mine, moving in intimacy. But then, I heard a click.

"Hey Re- oh crap. TJ?" I immediately pushed TJ away from me. I can't believe I just let him kiss me. Stupid. I looked up to match the face to the voice but all I got was a preview of his back as he made his way to the door again. I didn't have my wand but I had to act fast so I looked around and caught sight of an oddly shaped stick protruding out of the back of TJ's jeans. Grabbing it, I pointed it at the door before he could exit.

"Colloportus." The door locked with a similar click. And the figure turned around to show James in all his glory with a few bars of chocolate in his hand. So I had my ex-boyfriend who is in love with me and one of my best friends who didn't know I was bisexual who just saw me kiss a guy. And he had chocolate. Very important detail.

Oh deer.

**Word Count:- 1** **181**

_Love, Kale._


	22. Right Place, Right Time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. TJ's collage.  
> The doughnuts are supposed to symbolise how sweet he actually island that even if you do take away the powdered sugar, he is still sweet and it's not like a disguise or facade.  
> The charcoal is meant to show he feels wasted. And artificial. Like he's already been burnt through and used up and he has nothing more to give.  
> The moon is kinda like *foreshadowing* which you guys will find out before, and no it is the farthest from what you think it is. Or is it?  
> The jellyfish shows how he doesn't have anger inside him, but rather when he loses it and is provoked, he is going to bring it and probably win.  
> The anthrophobia is kind of self explanatory considering there is legit a definition given below it.  
> And lastly, the water and rocks are kind of double meaning, maybe. So the way I see it, his life kind of feels like it's just going by and he has no control over it, like he's the rocks and secondly, when the seas -metaphorical and literal- get rough, he, like a rock, just kinda sways and tends to be forced to go with the flow.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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I had no idea how I was going to write off James seeing TJ kiss me. It was impossible, it had to be. It was thick tension in the silence, the type that you didn't even need paper to cut; your simple finger would do. I went over ways on how to approach the topic but came up empty-handed. At this point, I was way past panicking. Every small plan I had until this awkward point started with one basic action: TJ leaving me and James so that I could untangle this emotional mess I created.

"TJ. Would you mind showing yourself out." Usually I wouldn't have been this blunt with anyone. Rude maybe, but being straightforward wasn't my thing. Beating around the bush has become a hobby of mine but extreme situations -which this one had surpassed- calls for extreme measures. Even James seemed a little taken aback from my question but still looked consistently distressed. TJ moved out without another word and made sure he locked the door behind him. "James, just-"

"No, can I speak?" I nodded. He wasn't harsh but rather just delicate and calm. He was quite composed, unlike me if I was in his shoes. I mean one of your good friends who you didn't know was bisexual just kissed a guy in front of you. I mean, it was pretty dire. I would have freaked out. I mean, at this point, even I don't know how I managed to scrape past six academic years, dating a decent number of guys that go to the same school and still get away without a single person knowing. Either I was really smart and sneaky which isn't very likely to be honest, or they were just incredibly oblivious, which wouldn't surprise me too much for a series of straights. But then, to interrupt my thought process, James did something I thought I wouldn't see until the day he kissed Lily Evans, which I had faith was going to happen: stutter. "How l- long. How long have you n-known?" I assumed he was talking about when I knew I was bisexual. I mean, duh, what else would he be talking about under the circumstances. Idiot. I whispered a small 'before I met you' to get the awkward questionnaire out of the way. James buried his face into his hands at the answer. He seemed sad, perhaps it was because he thought I didn't trust him enough to tell him, or maybe it was because he felt betrayed. Whatever was causing his melancholy vibe was long-lived. "Does Lily know?" I should have predicted that was going to be one of the early questions. So I tried to soften the blow a little in case he did feel betrayed. 'She's the only one.' It seemed to have worked because at least now he was fiddling with his fingers instead of covering his face. Improvement! Wow, even my mind can't be sarcastic right now without feeling like imploding. "Why didn't you tell me?" He sounded a little desperate and his words came out throaty. I knew that voice all too well from holding back tears.

"Full disclosure, I didn't know how you would react. Sure, we live in the seventies and people are more open minded I guess but how could I have known about your views on the topic. We never talk about it, or even mention it. If it makes you feel better, I didn't tell Lily, 11 year old her figured it out somehow." He let out a sound which could either be a sob or a chuckle which either means I did well or really bad. I think it was good so we are going with good. Fantastic. His voice eased a little but I could tell when he blinked a few droplets accumulated in his eyes. He then carried on with the questions but with a lighter tone which I was grateful for. He carried on with a small and innocent smile creeping up on his face but they were less of questions and more of statements, 'I'm guessing I missed your first kiss then?' He looked a little disappointed but did his best to hide it. I gulped loudly which I had never done before unless it was for a joke. "I'm really sorry James, I know it was a big deal for you." I didn't know how else to respond, but he put his hand up in slight objection. 'It's fine, really. As long as there are no more secrets.' And with that, there was an obstruction: the double doors opened to reveal a proud Lily and trailing behind her was an ashamed, "Sirius." I hadn't seen him, and I mean properly seen him without running off with some lame excuse or through the haze of having just woken up for a while now, much too long for my liking.

"Hey Re. James." He greeted while bowing his head in gestures. "I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for missing the full moon. I hope you can forgive me." It was odd hearing what sounded like a pre-planned speech yet all the while was incredibly genuine. It was nice, nay fulfilling to see him again and James was practically beaming and radiating with pure joy. But before either of us could say anything, he had run out of the room without as much as a 'goodbye'. James proceeded to physically sink into his chair so I gestured for Lily to go console him since I couldn't move without whining like a distressed dog. The irony.

"Lils?" James started speaking a few seconds later that he probably spent trying to compose himself after the prior encounter. Also I could've sworn I saw a small smirk. "I know Remus' big secret." That was positively out of nowhere but I applaud him -inwardly of course- for trying to alleviate the stress of the room especially when he was still suffering the consequences of the heart.

"Well duh, did you forget the whole you becoming a stag thing you did because of it?" I giggled in my seat that she hadn't figured the situation out.

"The other big secret he means." She looks at me with suspicious eyes when stammers out something along the lines of 'he- how, huh?' I think she was surprised at how he came to know and rightfully so, it was an unusual thing. "TJ." This gave her cheek creases a small amount of relief.

"Okay, he was here. But how does that explain James. He's not really one to pick up on sexual tension." James clutched his chest in fake offence.

"First of all, there is NO, and I mean NO sexual tension. And secondly, he just so happened to walk in when TJ was feeling particularly horny and advancing.

Just a right place at the right time sort of phenomenon."

**Word Count:- 1** **361**

_Love, Kale._


	23. I'm Here...

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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"Today, we will begin the year with a very important and extremely vast topic: Human Transfiguration. We will be continuing this topic in full next year but it accounts for around 25% of your grade so I thought we would start with the basics at least." Professor McGonagall made her way around her desk and toward the blackboard, writing down two words that for all I knew, she had made up: Crinus Muto. "Crinus Muto. Who knows that this does. And please, by the Order of Merlin, someone other than Mister Lupin and Miss Evans." I crane my neck to look at them seated at the back of the classroom with their hands raised, chuckling internally at their predictable nature. "Ah. Mister Black." I hurriedly craned my neck in the opposite direction toward her desk in front of me when I realise I had my hand in the air. When the hell did that get there? Luckily, I had to take Latin classes when I was young so I could make a half-educated guess.

"Something to do with your hair?" There were a few sniggers around the classroom, which I honestly thought were rather rude but whatever. They were just insanely jealous.

"In technicality, yes. You're correct." The suppressed laughs died down. This was why Minnie was my favourite teacher, no matter who you were, she helped you. Whether it was giving you a cookie to cheer you up, letting your students become animagi to help their werewolf friend or even just twisting her words so that you aren't embarrassed in class in front of people you knew. She was just cool. I also noticed James as looking at me weirdly, and it didn't seem like it was because I just had my hand in the air. Truthfully, I missed him. A lot. And I know people would say 'if I as in your place, I would totally go back' but it was way more complicated that the average deduced. But no matter what I am going through -which is a lot that I don't want to focus on right now- missing the full moon was unacceptable and I felt horrible. I can't imagine what James must have gone through. And I know that those times of the month are all about Remus' pain but not many people know what James goes through. He barely sleeps, going over the worst case scenarios and of course the insane amount of chocolate he takes with him at dawn to the Hospital Wing. And to think, I betrayed my duty as best friend by not being there to calm him down and for that -no matter if he forgives me- I could never forgive _myself_. 

Missing the full moon was the last straw I could endure with Amelia. As much fun as it was having non-stop sex with the hottest girl in school, her asking me to drop my life and my friends? How did I ever agree to that? _Because you were trying to make yourself straight remember!_ Memories of that night on the Astronomy Tower came flooding in. Remus' date, the sexual foreplay, the boobs that I had learned to tolerate, the guys. I was so confused and I was not dealing with it well enough.

"Siri? Are you okay?" I snapped into reality to see McGonagall writing down notes while most copied and James sitting in the empty spot on my desk on my right, looking at me with worried orbs.

"Professor, may I be excused?" James tried grabbing my hand as I stood up, not waiting for a response. I just had to get out of there and fast before anyone saw me cry and I lost what little credibility I had left in this school. I rushed out with my bag in no particular direction; just as far away from anyone I knew would be sufficient. I felt the warm sting on a droplet roll down my cheek as I found myself in the second floor girls' lavatory. I dropped my bag in one of the dry sinks and leaned against another. I looked up catching sight of myself in the broken shards of mirror. The rust was retreated enough to make out the tear trails that overflew every few seconds as I remembered myself. 

I was so absorbed with how miserable and pathetic I looked to even notice someone had come in. "Hello, hot stuff!" I closed my eyes in preparation for what was coming. "Is ickle baby crying?" The high pitched voice almost had me deaf in the ears.

"Not now, Moaning Myrtle!" I looked around to see the translucent figure of Moaning Myrtle standing before me, laughing uncontrollably. It was times like this when I was upset that I couldn't strangle her to death with my bare hands.

"Myrtle, could you excuse us a minute?" That voice, I did recognise: Remus. Myrtle turned around to see him enter just as I did and started floating around him flirtatiously before disappearing into the tile below.

"Is there anyone who doesn't like you?" I tried to lighten the mood but he didn't smile. I could tell he was not in the mood to laugh. There were things about him I didn't notice before for some reason that I noticed on first sight now. Like how he didn't wear a shirt under his school jumper but a white T-shirt instead or how his caramel curls created a cute cloud-like illusion over the side of his forehead. But what surprised me the most was how I saw he had missing scars. I extracted my wand and pointed it at his face. I don't know why, but he was completely still and unfazed but curious. "Revelio." As I pulled my wand away from his face, a brown powder was dragged along with it like a flock of tiny birds flying in perfect harmony and synchronisation. "Are you wearing makeup?" 

"I was, until that." He grabbed his wand too and re-applied it with a trembling hand. I figured it wasn't a secret most knew. "But I'm not here to talk about me." Of course, I should have known it was coming. It was only a matter of time. "You and I aren't my closest but you are still one of my best friends and more importantly, so is James." Oh.

"So he sent you?" I spat back causing little bubbles to ruin his makeup. 

"No. But I've come for him. He's obviously taking it the hardest, and I get that you don't want to talk, but please. Talk to _him_. You'll be surprised how much good it will do you to say what you want to say to the people you love and whatever you're going through, it will help you get past the first stage that you are clearly in: denial." He spoke calmly but I could tell he wanted to say something else, on his own behalf.

"Re. You don't get it." 

"In the near future, you will find that I do understand having a big secret and being scared of it. Besides, as much as I don't like guilt-tripping on serious occasions, I am still in more pain that I should be because you weren't there yesterday and so, you owe me. And if you still don't want to talk to James in fear he won't understand..."

...I'm here."

**Word Count:- 12** **42**

_Love, Kale._


	24. Raining Stags and Dogs.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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It was an overly drab day. The skies could be described easily and with the simplest of words: depressed. The grey consumed the sunlight that was released meaning it was pure darkness. Practice ended almost half an hour before but there I was found, sat in the high stands overlooking the Quidditch pitch while everyone else sat, waiting for me in the Great Hall. Their worry would have faded by now as their attentions turned to the delicious feasts, each others' company or school work. Their co-dependant ecosystem survived just fine without me, to put it lightly, I was unnecessary. I could hear the virtual voices of my friends inside my head disagreeing with every thought but my mind was made up.

First, I lost my best friend. He probably meant more to me than I could comprehend at the time. I would help him with homework, or with his various sexual endeavours. He gave me purpose, like I could find no where else. He helped give my life meaning -though I hate to admit it- more so than any of my other friends. They were great, but they didn't quite understand me like he did. Remus and Lily had each other and Peter just usually kept to himself but Sirius was mine. A lot of people would rather have loads of friends, but I know from experience that having one perfect, best friend that doesn't feel the same way about you was probably the worst fate anyone could endure, because it doesn't hurt physically but rather it ate you up with internal humiliation and embarrassment from the insides. But with him gone, I had no best friend. And so I had no purpose.

Then, I lost the last five years with Remus. Though most wouldn't understand why it meant so much to me that I missed most of Remus' first, it really did. Friendship was born out of a companionship family couldn't fulfil: the family you chose. But I didn't chose them, fate brought them to me all those years ago. And then fate decided it was time for a little karma and made he miss something that was directly in front of me for six years. It hurt that I didn't know half of the amazing person he was and I felt guilty that I ever gave off a vibe that he couldn't be himself with us.

And lastly, I lost something I never had. Lily. I always made it blatantly obvious that I am deeply in love with her everything. Her personality: the way she stifled a laugh at her own jokes at a risk of no one else laughing, the way she pouted her lips into a circular crease when she wanted to be sarcastically angry, the way her eyes rolled to the back of her head when she ate a bite of warm food on a particularly cold or snowy day. Just everything. When would she realise her breathtaking looks were just a simple bonus to what already made me love her with all my being. But she always disregarded my affection and mistook me for a horny teenager with excessive hormonal glands.

The warm prick of the pre-winter rains tickled the back of my neck. I hadn't even noticed the downpour because I was so obsessed with my thoughts, but it was a welcome addition to aid in my brooding. As I scanned the pitch for what aspect of myself to feel sorry for, I noticed something. Or rather someone as they ascended to where I sat.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, just loud enough for him to hear my raspy tone through the storm.

"Remus sent me. I'm here to talk." I waited for him to seat himself beside me, producing an umbrella in the process. Whatever he had to say, I would listen. As much as I was going through, for him to stray like that, he must have been going through something worse. "Remus also told me that talking to you would help me get past the first stage of what I'm going through: denial and as usual, he's right." He was fiddling with his fingertips so I took his wand from his grasp.

"I'm listening."

"Something happened. That night with Amelia. Something happened and it made me question everything I knew that was good and right." I braced myself for whatever this big news was, and no matter what -unless it was like way out of control- I would support him. "I'll just start from the beginning. As of that night, I was a virgin."

"WHAT!" He looked at me with a sheepish smile. He had revealed himself somewhere through fifth year with some Slytherin chick, or so I thought.

"Yeah, all the girls I dated, we just made out and then I avoided them. None went anywhere, which in hindsight, in glad about cause those fetishes were fully real." I stared at him, bewildered. I didn't know how to react but something tells me that wasn't his big news, so I didn't move any more yet. "But back to that night, we were in the Astronomy Tower as you know, and I was um, having trouble." I don't know where this is going but if he's about to describe his first time, I would have a scar the shape of Amelia's boobs engraved into my brain and I did not want that. "So anyway, we were making out and nothing seemed to be working, until." Until what? Did he fall in love with someone on the grounds at first sight? Was it Lily? That would explain a lot. "Until I looked here. Frank and some of the guys were playing some Muggle sport and they were all sweaty and stuff."

"I'm sorry, I don't follow." I was confused, what does Frank have to do with him having sex?

"Just listen. I ran out after that so we didn't actually do anything because I was too conflicted and I basically spent the next two something weeks just thinking about that instant. So, I went back to her. I thought maybe she would make me forget, hence why I'm not a virgin now and then she stopped me seeing you guys which kind of worked out because I couldn't face you all then, but all of those experiences with her just made me even more sure of what I feared that night on the Astronomy Tower and I have been dreading this moment when I finally accepted it and said it out loud to myself, or in this case, myself and my other half." He spoke, constantly being out of breath.

"And what's that?" I had suspicions in the basic sense, but I hadn't a clue about what could be so daunting that he can't tell his best friend.

"James, I think I'm gay."

**Word Count:- 1** **152**

_Love, Kale._


	25. Rat Patootie for Dinner!

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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Halloween. The first prank. There was too much to do to worry about anyone else except Sirius, who was thankfully back so we could win against Remus. We walked down the long hallway toward the Great Hall. We were heavily plotting and I really think he hit a goldmine on the releasing dragons on Prongs and Remus and making them fight it but on another note, where would we get dragons. But that's the whole point of planning, now all we had to do was find dragons and that can't be as hard as everyone describes it to be so we would be okay. The entire walk was long and seemed way too quiet for it to be normal. Padfoot was looking around eerily as well suspicious that there was not a single person headed to the Great Hall for the glorious Halloween Feast. Maybe they're all there already. I mean I totally understand getting there early to mentally prepare myself for the delicacies waiting to fulfil their lifelong dream of being devoured. Obviously.

Padfoot placed his hand in front of me to stop me in my path which I truthfully had no time for considering there was food waiting to be eaten! But he looked around in anticipation for something. 

Then, out of nowhere there was an unnecessarily loud thud. This was followed by another. And then another. The loud sounds continued to echo through the hallway in a disruptive manner. The noises heavily resembled footprints and they got louder and louder with every single one. We looked around for the source of the noise but it just seemed to come from every single direction without a particular source. The noises were so heavy, I could swear I felt the ground tremble in the vibrations. The intensity of the footprints increased with every second. 

Then, out from behind the shadows around the corner, something emerged. It was big and ghastlier than I imagined. The creature had slimy, greenish skin that drabbly complimented his dusty attire, by which I obviously mean the rags that he lazily draped over himself probably in the time span of a few seconds. They were torn or rather ripped in the worst of places but they were just enough to hide what I didn't to see. Unfortunately he couldn't have taken the extra time to put on a pair of flabby shoes to clothe the revolting barges he called his feet. Each of them were bigger than his head and had four toes with black nails, each the size of a long piece of parchment. They were peeled off into weird shapes and bits of dead cells protruded from them in the oddest of places. His toes were -to put it lightly- deformed. They were all different sizes and shapes and it was very uncomfortable especially when I was staring straight at them. There was a thick layer of gunk jam that was sandwiched between each toe. 

His belly burst out, flabbing over his cloth -not clothes, I wouldn't grace them with that compliment- and seemed to be the greenest part of his body. As my eyes travelled sky high, they landed on the monstrosity he called his face. I mean, it isn't very hard to invest in a few skin products. Somehow, even though he had the flab, his jawline was somehow existent. His bald, boiled egg head had skin peeling of the top and his ears seemed to take up at least 30% of his face. He had big eyes that almost matched his ears and eyelids that only fit half the way. 

"What the fuck kind of giant is that?! I didn't know they were green!" I asked Sirius who was just as baffled as I was and not in a 'oh my God! This food is so good' way but in a more 'oh my God! Is that a giant spider' way. I saw he had taken out his wand so I proceeded to do the same. But I didn't know many spells to take down giants so this was going to be a challenge. Hopefully Sirius was more well-versed in the destruction of giants. 

"That's not a giant you prat." Well, there aren't that many magical creatures that look like that, are that big and haven't gone extinct yet. Well, to be fair, I wouldn't know considering I never paid attention in History of Magic or Care of Magical Creatures. "That's a troll." He said it like a whisper -probably for dramatic effect- but now that I really think of it, it totally makes sense. I completely forgot trolls existed. But now, apparently he had to kill one...or at least tranquilize it. 

"Know how to kill one?" 

"Not in the slightest." Well fuck. As he spoke, the troll sensed his frustration and then came charging to where we stood. We jumped in opposite directions and I swear I almost bruised. This way too much exercise for me. The atmosphere changed from one of curiosity to just REALLY FUCKING CRAZY! It was mad, there was running and more running and more running. Just too much running. Sirius had tried a few Stunning Spells but they just bounced off his thick skin and rendered themselves useless. 

"Do you think we can use Unforgivable Curses?!" I screamed. It was just a reflex. 

"ARE YOU FUCKING MAD! THEY'RE CALLED UNFORGIVABLE CURSES FOR A REASON!!" 

"DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES!!" I had a very valid point to be fair.

"YOU'LL GO TO AZKABAN, YOU- UGHHHH!!" But so did he. The troll was stomping all over the place now. I had no idea how the Professors weren't here already. Sirius was on the other end of the room still. I really hoped he had a plan because I am way too young to die. I have so much more to do! Like eat turducken, try authentic French fries from France -because that's obviously where they're from no matter what Remus says- and lastly, I had to try bacon chocolate cupcakes. Like oh my God. "-ter, Peter, PETER!" I was snapped out of my trance by Sirius screaming. "Listen to me! If we Stupefy him in his ears, he might go down cause his skin retreats there!" That makes sense. I don't know why but honestly I didn't care. It was a plan and quite frankly, our only hope. 

"Okay." I positioned myself in line with his big, fat earlobe and aimed my wand as he did the same. We inched closer to and with a small countdown, we struck. 

"Stupefy!"

"Stupefy!"

As the concentrated beams of light disappeared through his ears, his entire body began too shake like he was having an epileptic seizure. I guess it worked. But then he began convulsing and his body began contorting and I am no genius, but I'm pretty sure trolls aren't supposed to do that. 

And then he quite literally imploded.

As he burst inward, his remains exploded all over the hallway and all over me. I was temporarily blinded but it certainly didn't feel like I had chunks of flesh covering me, it felt more like slime. I wiped my face off on my trousers and saw that Sirius was experiencing the same consequences. 

"Are trolls supposed to have slimy, green blood?"

"Of course not." There was a new voice and from each of the two sides of the hallway, familiar faces began emerging. I heard the daunting sound of stifled and free laughs growing louder and stronger. Evidently, as I looked around at the separated crowds, the voice belonged to the one and only James Fleamont Fucking Potter. Or at least I think so, I don't actually know if he had a middle name or what it was. But I was more than happy to assume. This was their fucking prank. Humiliating us in front of the entire Gryffindor house by somehow transporting a troll to Hogwarts -how did Professor McGonagall authorise that- and also make sure we destroy it just the right way to turn it into slime. "Actually, it was way easier than that. Also you should really stop thinking out loud. Anyway, Remus care to explain?"

"Of course James. You see, that wasn't a real troll, it was simply a magical creature conjuring spell. In this case, a troll. And a simple Trodlodytarum Fructus Specialis did the trick. No matter how you killed it -although I'm glad you didn't use an Unforgivable Curse- it would have turned into slime and well we would be where we are right now. So, um happy pranking."

And with that, the students began peeling away slowly until all that was left was me, Sirius and the buttloads of slime that doused us.

**Word Count:- 1** **463**

_Love, Kale._


	26. New Fears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. Peter's collage.  
> The rat is obviously his Animagus form.  
> The cheese is to symbolse how he is actually more like a rodent than people think.  
> Pepper is like innocent looking on the outside but is actually bitter and we'll peppery and though most people think it is a necessity, it doesn't have to be.  
> The shoes are a call to how he is half Muggle and also to his conformity.  
> The smoke implies how when people start smoking, they think it's like poisoning but in the long run, it doesn't help them.  
> The rocks -which are slightly complicated- symbolise him and how the water(James, Voldemort) shapes and moulds him and he lets them and even does their bidding and just sits there in the sidelines and let's others take control.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

It was the end of the day and James and I were still coming off our win yesterday when we completely humiliated Peter and Sirius. James had come up with the idea of getting them doused in green slime. But of course, no prank is complete without a little pizzazz and flair, so I thought why not add a few bells and whistles...or a troll. Of course lining up the entire Gryffindor house to watch, which could be considered a bit too much to some people, was James' idea but I supported him, especially since -with Sirius back- the other team would not be going easy on us with whatever they have in store; which -if I know Sirius- could probably be either a real giant who's only motive is killing us or a Jelly-Legs Jinx. To sum it up, either terrifying or stupidly basic. 

Thankfully, James and I had a few tricks up our sleeve. We thought it best -since we had already completed our prank and didn't have a specific need to talk- that we would leave classes separately because we obviously wouldn't be bombarded when we weren't together so they would have to go for something smaller because we would always be alone. Also, we decided we would take shifts sleeping so there was no possible way they could ambush us in the dorm. It was foolproof. And if they had thought of it, we surely wouldn't have been able to set a troll on them. Well, a fake troll but still. 

In any case, I knew what it felt like just before someone pranked you: there would be no one else around, everything would go deliberately quiet and then something funny -to everyone else- yet equally terrible -mostly for you- would happen to you in the middle of the hallway. Like a fake troll would explode green slime over you. Or something. 

But that's not what happened. Actually, as I walked down the hallway, the muffled conversations somehow increased, except I saw no one around to make said sounds. That and the never-ending feeling that someone was watching me means I was convinced the prank was going to happen now. 

The sounds with no source, the empty hallway, my nagging feeling: it all had only one reasonable explanation. I stopped in my tracks and extracted my wand. Whatever was coming, I was going to be ready for it. The feeling of being watched grew stronger with every second of time that felt like an hour drowning in my nervous sweat. 

Then from straight behind me, I felt a low growl. I turned around, startled by the animalistic nature of the bark-like sound. 

His red eyes sparkled under the moonlight and contrasted the rest of his grey and drab body. He strutted toward me with an attitude, oscillating his body from left to right with every new footstep. His sensitive ears twitched with every new and miniscule sound that emerged from the outside. His gloomy strands flinched with every new, slight breeze and his teeth shivered in his strong jaw. I tasted the sourness of freshly drawn blood as I kept biting down on my tongue which tingled even more disgustingly on my tongue at the sight of the stale, red liquid running down his face: He had just killed someone. 

There was a werewolf on the loose. 

My feet subconsciously stumbled backward at the sight of the wolf. My wand almost slipped through my sweaty palms. I couldn't speak properly; I was terrified. 

"St- s- Stupefy!"

The light shot out of the end of my wand toward the wolf but was deflected upon hitting his figure. It didn't affect him at all, he just kept inching closer to me with more, low growls. There was only one explanation for what the wolf could be.

"Riddikulus." 

The wolf's limbs were sucked into his body and two long balloons took their place. Not before long, I had a full balloon animal standing -or should I say floating- in front of me. I laughed as loud as I could authentically because obviously laughter is was defeats them. Thankfully, I laughed hard enough to defeat it.

But this wasn't over. 

I ran over to the end of the hallway and toward another long hallway in hoped of finding James. He wouldn't have known it was a boggart.

But what I found was way worse. In the middle of the hallway stood James with his back to me and his wand on the floor. The only illuminated part of the room was in front of him which is where four easily recognizable figures lay splattered on the ground. The cold blood ran down from their chest cavity onto the stone floors and the white shirts underneath were stained with the stale ichor. Their torsos were still and flat; no sign of any sort of respiration. All of their hair had run dry and crusty. We were dead. 

James' boggart was the three of us -plus Lily of course- dead. It was heartbreaking that we were his boggart and mine was something as stupid as a random wolf on the loose whose only motive is trying to kill me. The bodies on the ground dug deep into into my mental skeleton, shooting through every bone and under every ligament. 

James was standing with a slightly bent posture and sobbing into his robe sleeve. I jumped as fast as I could -which wasn't very fast because I was still a little shaken up- in front of him. And then I waited. I waited to see the familiar fur of the wolf that haunted my dreams. 

But it never came.

The bodies remained where they were. 

"Riddikulus." It was a whisper among the tense silence and soft sobs. 

I didn't know what had happened was possible, that anything like that could actually happen. I thought it was an impossible phenomenon: my boggart had just changed.

**Word Count:- 1** **132**

_Love, Kale._


	27. Tyler Jamie -effing- Bard.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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"Felix Felicis. Otherwise known as Liquid Luck. It makes the drinker lucky for a period of time, during which everything they attempt will be successful. It turns an ordinary day into an extraordinary one. Of course, it is still too advanced to learn this early in the year but that doesn't mean we can't use it as a prize." Professor Slughorn rambled on as he always did during his lessons. But honestly a fight for Felix Felicis just seems so exhilarating. I mean what on Earth could be more exciting than a battle of the wits during Potions Class for a bottle of Felix Felicis. Amazing. And it would be even more amazing when I beat everyone else's ass. Of course, I bet Remus was going through the same thought process but I _am_ going to win. "Each of you will brew the 'Draught of Living Death' and the one who brews it the closest to perfect with get this." He held up a bottle from behind him. It was small and dainty but I knew the power it contained. It had a tiny bow tied around the cap with a silver ribbon. Inside, a translucent liquid swished back and forth with a never-ending stream of bubbles emerging from the base and rising to the top. It had miniscule particles immersed that looked like glitter and shone in the light. The entire class stared intently at the bottle, intrigued by its abilities. "A bottle of liquid luck. The effects of the entirety of this liquid would last for 24 hours. The draught takes precisely an hour to do - if you have followed the instructions to a tee. Very well, you may begin."

I rushed to the get the ingredients I needed. Thankfully, I was the only one so the room was empty enough that I could move around and retrieve what I required. A few seconds later, the rest of the students began pouring in through the archway cum door. But in just another minute, I was out of there with what I needed while everyone else struggled against the packed room. I let my full arms fall to the desk when I reached, meaning all the ingredients tumbled onto the wood like a wave. I began the fire under the cauldron, adding the infusion of wormwood. A second later, Remus emerged with his lot and placed them gently near the cauldron near me. It was set out as three cauldrons per table. 

"I am so going to win." Remus scoffed loudly at the statement. A new voice spoke as I watched Remus add his powdered root of asphodel: Sirius. He had set up on another table directly next to us. James was meant to sit with us as there was a quiet tension between the teams after the scary boggart incident that Remus had so painstakingly described for me. I obviously assured his worst fears -and therefore boggarts to- can change even regularly - though I'm surprised he didn't know that. Anyway, Sirius and Peter were clueless that the encounter had traumatised them, and thought it was actually a great prank. 

But as I watched stumble up to us, another person sat at our table. James' eyes widened as he almost dropped everything in his hands. Even Remus was flustered. So instead, James ran up to the table Sirius and Peter sat at while the two of us -Remus and I- just stared at our new arrival. 

"What are you doing?" Remus spoke first, trying to compose himself as well as he could but I could tell he was freaking out on the inside. 

But the familiar face didn't even flinch.

"I realise we never got to finish our conversation." Remus rolled his eyes and continued silently with trying to cut his Sopophorous Bean. It was quite hilarious but I couldn't bring myself to laugh in this particular situation. 

"TJ, you kissed me. We have nothing to talk about." He was whispering now, and TJ leaned back instead of into the table, trying to get as close to Remus face as possible. "Thankfully, James was as understanding as he could be. Imagine if someone else had walked in."

I stood there awkwardly while they continued with their closet case confab. I had absolutely no idea what was expected of me under these circumstances. So, I just focussed on perfecting my potion. I was about a minute ahead of Remus but finishing early didn't mean anything. I stared at my potion while also eavesdropping on their conversation, because I had to. You know, not because I wanted to, but because I needed to know what to comfort Remus about later. So one could speculate, I was eavesdropping for him, and I was. My listening in was completely justifiable. Duh.

"Can't you just come out already, I mean I did!"

"Well I'm sorry, I don't have the courage to come out like you or kiss my ex while they're on a hospital bed and can't get up!" He was whisper yelling now, attracting a few of the Marauders' heads, but thankfully, James distracted them. "In any case, you didn't come out, you were outed by that bi-curious bastard who banged you with internalised homophobia. Remember?" I somehow successfully stifles by laughter.

"Well, you would know a lot about bi-curious bastards, wouldn't you Remus?" Excuse me?

"What? I've never heard of a bi-curious one. Have you told me about him?" Remus tells me everything, TJ must have been messing with me.

"TJ, shut your trap!" He added another ingredient to his cauldron, which he was still paying close attention to. They then proceeded to share a prolonged stare, exchanging words through sight which led me to believe TJ wasn't lying.

"I won't tell her if you take me to Hogsmeade this weekend. Deal?" I noticed TJ's uncared for potion was now bubbling heavily and the contents had began to multiply heavily.

"Fine, fine whatever. Just shut up."

**Word Count:- 1** **003**

_Love, Kale._


	28. Grilling Hot Dogs.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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"I didn't even think it was possible that both of you won, what the hell." We were just coming out of our Potions class and Remus and my future sister-in-law Lily were also coming out a win. Slughorn was rather impressed by both of their potions and babbled on about how identical they were, and then given them both tiny bottles of Liquid Luck and they were both full. It was so unfair. But I wasn't going to win in any case, so I didn't really care. The five of us walked down the hall; Lily and Remus talking about something secretly, perhaps TJ who very weirdly sat with them. I mean, did they even know each other. James also seemed to listen in on the conversation, but I didn't have time for such careless antics. Peter and I were well into planning our next prank. It was inevitable that it happened since the only reasons it wouldn't would be death or Lily saying 'yes' to James, one of which could happen, but I highly doubt one of us dies. 

"Well, it happened." That's all the trio said before returning to their whispers. It was oddly unsettling. But as I had been continuously doing these last few days, I just faked a smile. It was weird, to properly accept what I had accepted. I couldn't even say it out loud mentally. That's saying something considering I have no shame. 

Potions was the last class of the day, so we headed straight for the dorms, because I am -as usual- hella tired. "What if we make it look like Grindlewald was trying to attack them."

"Don't you mean Voldemort, Grindy's long gone." Peter flinched slightly for some reason.

"Yeah, right." And that's how the walk back was spent, just with banter about pranks and such. 

"Chizpurpfle." The portrait door swung open with a small gush of wind and the five of us scrambled through the hole eagerly. Peter clambered straight to bed, arguing he was 'as tired as a troll trying to think' while the four of us remained back. Remus and Lily were already curled up in the corner on the floor, continuing with their hushed conversations. "Hey mate, what's that about?" I gestured to the pair of them as James threw himself on me -while I was sitting on the couch- sucking on a sweet. 

"Talking about TJ I think, but they wouldn't tell me." He looked intently at his sweet when he spoke; he lied. I knew his tells for lying after a few days and that was definitely one of them. But I decided not to push the topic, because if he didn't want to tell me, it must have really been something I ought not to know. "Hey Sirius." He looked thoughtful, which could never be a good thing as far as I know. "And you totally don't have to answer, but." That could only mean one thing: it was about my rollercoaster ride of a sexuality. A rollercoaster ride of just about one serious loop but a rollercoaster ride nonetheless. "Why did you sleep with Amelia?" 

Oh.

"What do you mean?" I stalled the answer as long as I could but I knew exactly what he was asking and I knew I was going to have to answer eventually. And I was dreading it. Heavily.

"Well, according to the story you told me, you had doubts that night on the Astronomy Tower, but then you them spent the next two weeks banging the 'daughter of the Devil' senseless. What was that about." He seemed to have known I knew what he meant, hence the sarcasm. I was going to have to answer but just thinking of it makes me want to puke. 

"Fine. It was because I wanted to see if I could be straight I guess?" 

"Because of?" He urged.

"The assholes I'm forced to call my family." I gulped hard and saw him shift his seating position in discomfort and anticipation, waiting for me to go on. "I live my life to make theirs hell. But I'm very careful about it. But this, me and my newly discovered need for dick may just be the tipping point." He chuckled at my attempt as lightening the mood, but his short-lived happiness faded when he processed the sentence. 

"The tipping point of what?" 

"For my parents filing the papers for my disownership. If that's a word." He looked at me blankly, without saying a word for about 30 seconds before he spoke with a smile.

"Finally thinking about my offer to move in? I mean, you're already there like all the time." James had asked if I wanted to live with them for quite a while now. His parents were all on board. And truthfully, I had thought about it. But I couldn't do it, not for a while. Everytime I thought about it, there was always one thing holding me back, the one thing I couldn't leave behind. 

"You know I can't leave Regulus with those demons." Whenever I packed a bag, or a trunk, I always stopped myself because of him. I know what those people do to me, but if I go, they might take their anger out on him instead, they might hurt him worse and I couldn't live with myself if that happened. So I couldn't leave, not until I knew Regulus would be safe. James sighed in his defeat but I think deep down, I think he knew my answer already. His resigned expression changed as his eyes lazily landed on the one and only Lily Evans. He had ranted many a time into the wee hours in the night, just wanting to scream about his undying love for the girl, but no matter how many times he asked, no matter how many flowers he went through and no matter how many instances he tried to impress her, she wouldn't give in. 

But he tried again and again.

And again.

And again.

"Hey Lily, so I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me. As friends." Them going as friends would be a good start and it meant he actually had a shot of her saying yes. Not to mention he spoke fast enough so she couldn't object.

"Oh James, I would love to. But I'm already going with someone." I looked at Remus, but he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. Then I turned back to James.

"It's okay Prongs, cheer up." 

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! SHE SAID YES!" Of course, Lily had technically said yes so I would let him live off his high as long as he could. Even if it was jumping up and down on the sofa which seemed to be all he did. "Anyway. Padfoot, wanna go then?"

"'Course mate."

**Word Count:- 1** **150**

_Love, Kale._


	29. Platonic Date.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

The little bell above the door jingled as I walked in. The smell of a sweet alcohol came wafting in through the small tavern. The warm, inviting and comforting atmosphere engulfed me as I took a few more steps into the room. I decided, that since it was a platonic date, I would dress simply. I wore a plain, white T-shirt with jeans and a leather jacket that I stole from James. It didn't fit the greatest but hopefully, I looked decent. I looked around, turning my head trying to spot where TJ could be sat, since he said he would be there when I reached, I found him sitting on one of the farthest tables, thoughtfully looking out of the window. I approached him slowly. The tables were packed with students either on dates or in awkward situations like I was about to land myself in. TJ looked back at me, the sunlight illuminated his facial features; he _had_ been working out. He exchanged our 'hi's and 'hello's and our pleasantries while I sat down and tried to strike up a conversation.

"So. James tells me you have a brother. You never mentioned a brother for the entirety of Fifth Year when we dated." He smiled at my straightforwardness, but it was true, he had never mentioned a brother.

"Step brother actually. And I discovered he existed and went to this school last year actually. So, there was nothing to tell." That makes sense but it is rather weird that they went to the same school for that long and never crossed paths even once. How were they both in Gryffindor and in the same year but still never even found each other in class. "Yeah, he looks like me, except more buff, way more muscular and annoyingly more athletic." I could just imagine it, and damn would that guy be all kinds of sexy.

"Shared Mum?"

"Actually same father." That was odd, I could swear he had mentioned his father had walked out on him. "Actually, now that I think of it, Dale Bard, the Chaser of the century probably has thousands of children around the world. Yeah, and my Mum was one lucky carrier of them." His mother was diagnosed with a very serious illness -one that I feel guilty for not remembering right now- at a young age. I couldn't imagine growing up like that - without a father. But in his case, it may have been better considering he has -on multiple occasions- boasted about the big asshole he thinks his father is. "Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Kinda. Not really, but I needed a transition." I giggled at his failed attempt at trying to begin a new conversation.

"What is it? You get over your anthrophobia?" I joked. Which was kind of rude thinking about it because he has it really bad. Anthrophobia is the fear of people and society. It took me like a month to actually get him to talk to me. But he didn't laugh or anything, he was serious. Instead, he leaned in close. For a second I thought he was going to kiss me again, in which case I would hex him right then and there. But I just assumed he didn't want anyone else to hear him. Nevertheless, I clutched my wand through my denim pocket just in case because I was not going to put up with another impromptu make out sesh, especially when it was in public this time.

"I know about your lycanthropy."

My smile dropped and I leaned back. I was still trying to process his words. How? How on Earth would he know about my disease. Beads of sweat began to roll down my face in anxiety my eyebrows creased subconsciously. This was bad. What if he told the whole school, or worse blackmailed me. Him knowing would open up an entire world of possibilities. And not a lot of them were positive. "How?"

"Promise not to freak out?" My face creases eased. I couldn't think of a reason why I would freak out when I was the one who should have freaked him out. I sipped the butterbeer he had ordered me to calm down. "I know because of the Shrieking Shack." He knew about that too. How on Earth. Was he an Legilimens or something? I have got to learn Occlumency. Needless to say, I nodded in response to his question. "I know about the Shrieking Shack because, because it was made for me."

I spit out my drink.

"What do you mean it was made for you?!" I whisper screamed but I still think it was too loud. But I didn't care, I need answers! He looked around, scared that someone would hear us, but I was too focussed on his words.

"Remember how I had said my Mum had a disease?" Suddenly, I heard clicks go down inside my brain as the mental pieces of my puzzle joined together. It was weird, I never had the problem that she was never free on full moons or other stuff that would hint at her being a werewolf, because obviously I was never free on a full moon. Everything made sense -from the insane meat cravings and everything- except one small thing.

"Wait, does this mean you're a werewolf too?" I may have completely disregarded his question but he must have known I had figured everything out, especially since we dated for the better part of the year.

"No. Somehow, I don't know how, but the lycanthropy was not passed down. So I just get like insane cravings for rare steak or my hearing gets super sensitive or my nose twitches when someone gets a paper cut or something." Of course, how did I not remember. I've read many a book about lycanthropy; how did I not realise that lycanthropy isn't genetic. I just stared at him after that, he understood I was too shocked to speak, so he just sat there and watched me inwardly panic.

I so have to tell Lily and James!

**Word Count:- 1** **024**

_Love, Kale._


	30. The Winner Takes It All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. Amelia's Collage  
> I think her's was the most understandable out of all of them because it speaks overall about her live for material goods. Her shoes though, she actually wears them. She's based on a bitchy version of Elle Woods.  
> The notes are to show 'daddy's money' and her reliance on it.  
> You must have noticed that most of the antagonists have snakes in their descriptions.  
> The poison is simply to symbolise her personality.  
> Sunglasses are again quite literal.  
> The donuts are to show how she covers herself with sugar aka expensive shit to cover all the crazy inside.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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We really needed today. If not for the purpose of my pride, then at least for a little self esteem for the team. So, they really needed this. We were fresh off our loss last year and their confidence and morale was low. Winning this match meant we could potentially win the Quidditch Cup and end our two year losing streak. The team couldn't take another loss without breaking apart. But since we were up against Slytherin, I made sure to prepare everyone for the worst. 

"Ok guys, now I know everyone is a little nervous because Frank's out sick and TJ has had to take over again. No offence TJ. But even if he doesn't get the Snitch and they do, we will win! We are going to score so many hoops that we win even after they catch the Snitch, that's the plan! Because I have faith in every single one of you and I am confident we're going to make Ol' Minnie proud of her team! And also, if you guys think that isn't possible, I would just like to inform everyone that Lily wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me last weekend which means ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!" There was a few seconds of genuine applause, which I think I deserve, I mean her not saying no is a huge accomplishment. But, now was the time to just ensure everyone it was going to be okay. "And even if we don't win -which won't matter because this game is kinda useless- I will still be proud as hell of everyone because you will have done your best!" And then came the second round of applause, which I rightfully earned. Thank Merlin I had written this speech before hand, or I could have stuttered my way to another loss. 

We followed each each other to the centre of the pitch where an overly excited Dumbledore stood with the box of different Quidditch balls opened and waiting at his feet. The Slytherin team on the other end also began to emerge in a straight line, each of them clutching their brand new Nimbus 1700s as opposed to my Cleansweep 6. I felt a little less confident about our chances of victory, but I still had hope that we would not lose disgustingly. 

Both teams got on their brooms and hovered; I was in the front. Dumbledore -who had way too much energy to be healthy for his age- released the Snitch and the Bludgers that went zooming in all sorts of absurd patterns. Then, he held the Quaffle in his left hand and tossed it up in the air. I was determined so I sped forward as fast as I could to grab it, reaching my hand out. But instead I collided with another Chaser: the Devil himself.

"Ooh, that was a mean crash between Potter and Crouch, oh but Potter leaves with the Quaffle and..." I was not going to waste any time, I had to score again and again and again until we could win. I saw the other two Chasers, well chasing me. I held the it tighter, protecting it with my life. I just put my head down and flew straight through them, lifting it up in time to score. Our points were still up and looking good but if we didn't catch the Snitch, we were screwed. It was only ten minutes into the game and we were doing okay, but okay wouldn't cut it for my plan to succeed. Darn it.

We finished at only seventy points after thirty full minutes of playing. There had been several close calls with the Golden Snitch and I couldn't score _another_ five loops with the amount of sheer adrenaline that i was in short supply of by now. I scored another, by now I was the only one but even though we weren't even halfway to our desired position. And that's when it happened.

"And Slytherin Seeker Crouch has SPOTTED THE sNiTcH!" I immediately saw TJ chase hastily after him, thank Merlin. They dove and rose and fought side by side, I could tell that TJ was determined but I also knew he only joined Quidditch to get in McGonagall's good books since he was really bad at Transfiguration. That was why -that reason alone- I didn't feel too bad about replacing him on the team.

Surprisingly, he actually gained on Crouch and raced him, leaving him to revel in the dust like a waste of space. Everyone had stopped playing and were watching TJ advance on the sneaky Snitch. He reached his hand out hopefully and for a second I actually had hope that we would pull through and win. But then, Crouch zoomed in front of his face and caught the Snitch, holding it up in vain.

Shit.

"SLYTHERIN WINS!!!"

**Word Count:-** **912**


	31. Snooze Fests.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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The stands cleared out for the next match: Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff. Remus had promised Harriet he would wait back and watch her play. She was a Keeper for the Hufflepuff team. I still didn't know why they were friends especially because Remus was incredibly awkward around her. But of course I wasn't going to leave him in agony alone -no matter how bored I would be- because I am an amazing friend. I thought Sirius would stay too considering Amelia played Chaser but I wasn't going to question his actions. 

Sure he's been a little distant, but it really wasn't my place to talk to him. Thankfully, James got him to open up somehow, not that it matters since he won't tell us -or more importantly me- what the problem was. I mean sure, there was that whole thing about best friend confidentiality and whatever and Sirius was back to his normal reckless and just plain stupid behaviour so I didn't really need to know, but that wasn't the point. The point was that I wanted to know. 

But of course I valued Sirius' secret more than my own obsessive need to know everything so I was just going to have to wait a few more days until James inevitably told Remus and then he inevitably told me. I knew absolutely everything there was to know about everyone and it was going to stay that way. 

The game had already started and it was incredibly awkward for us so we just sat there quietly, Remus cheered and pretended to be happy for Harriet; a lot of people thought they were still dating. Which, if I'm being honest, I hated. 

Let me mentally break this down for you all. I was popular; way too popular for anyone at this school to comprehend. And before everyone thought Remus and the honey badger were a thing, everyone thought Remus and I were an item. And I friggin' loved it. The biggest upside to the close friendship was that no one would hit on me, which happened way too often that I cared to admit. The horny straights who stalked the hallways with their constant whistles and cat calls were the true bane of my existence; it drove me mad! Now, everyone could probably assume that all the attention was rather flattering. And it was...for about half a year. Then, it just got repetitively irritating for the remainder of fifth and sixth year which was the most irksome of pet peeves I had ever come upon. It made my life a living hell. 

Until the rumours about Remus and _her_ -I have no idea why the rumours didn't start earlier considering Remus and I had been best friends since like forever, I mean it would have saved me a lot of trouble- which made them stop. Remus is the farthest from a generally violent or brash person, but somehow his deterrent energy was successful. Maybe it was the fact that he had thousands upon thousands of scars that littered his body, his sort of awkward relationship with everyone with any kind of power at Hogwarts, or his close-ish relationship with James, who you do not want to cross! Actually, in hindsight, it is really weird how people didn't hit on me when they indirectly didn't want to get in James' bad books but no one had a problem with doing it when it was blatantly obvious he has had an ongoing and everlasting crush on me. 

Their incessant stupidity and ignorance was exhausting. 

Returning to the game that I was paying absolutely no attention to, Ravenclaw was losing. Badly. Really badly. But being here, I am kind of glad I came since I got to see Amelia wearing something other than a furry pink corset with matching heels or clad in some other hot pink crap. She wasn't playing yet -just sitting uselessly on a bench- but everyone knew her patriotism for the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team. I couldn't even imagine the shit Sirius had landed himself into by not showing up. Like hot damn. 

Hufflepuff had come close to catching the fucking Snitch like twenty times! Like why couldn't they just grab it and get this nightmare over with! 

I mean, it didn't even matter! At this point, no matter who fucking caught the Snitch, Hufflepuff would win, so what was the point of even going on. I mean just end it! The sport itself could be deemed kind of useless, but the unnecessary rule that it only ended after someone caught the Snitch was just plain stupid. Idiocy.

An hour long nap and a series of cold stares for my obnoxiously loud snores later the match had ended. I stood up, ready to get the hell out of there, and began collecting my stuff. Remus followed suit. He was just as fed up as I was, but Harriet sure looked happy and was being all cute and adorable by waving and some other crap - I guess Remus didn't sleep like I did. But I didn't wait for the team to do their victory laps, two Quidditch matches were enough for this lifetime.

SO I NEEDED TO GET OUT OF HERE!

I grabbed Remus by the arm and dragged him out of the cheering stands and towards the base of the Grounds. But before we turned the corner, a certain scene was about to go down, and I was not about to miss what looked like was going to be the most interesting thing I saw all day. 

"How could you miss it!" We hid behind the large staircase and observed as the pink pantheress brought the castle down with her booming and ever so shrill tone. Her clear channeled voice was pointed directly at it's prey: an bored Sirius Black who was too obsessed with fake-checking his nails to care. "You know how many times I reminded you! I happily stood for your TERRIBLY BORING Quidditch game and you didn't see me complain!" Sirius was seemingly unfazed and unbothered by the entire ordeal. Honestly, I didn't expect anything less. 

"Yeah yeah. Listen, I got to get back so I was wondering if you could hurry this along so you can break up with me and I can leave." Amelia was taken aback with the composed speech and the content it held. It was very straightforward but it seemed to do the trick. Therefore, with two last 'chick slaps' -I believe they were called- Amelia rattled off into the castle with an angry stride, those in her path cowering in fear of the 'Evil Queen'. "Oh hey guys!" Sirius spotted us and returned to his chirpy self. "Wanna go back together?"

"Yes please, I need some alcohol after that strenuous and tiresome experience!"

"You slept for two hours." Sirius giggled at the idea and we all walked back to the Common Room.

**Word Count:- 1** **156**

_Love, Kale._


	32. Lust!

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

****

_~LET'S GO~_

**_Warning :_ ** _Light non-heterosexual smut_

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"What even is the point of this?" 

"Well, the Firewhisky and Buttebeer was already bought so we thought, why not just have the afterparty anyway? I mean why let all this good alcohol go to waste, so here we are!" James went into a tipsy explanation of the party. The room was not particularly decorated but instead the lights were dimmed to accommodate for the thick and sweaty atmosphere and an inaccurate version of a disco ball had been conjured and was currently hanging loftily. There were random emitters of scarlet and gold themed light situated along the corners of the room. The vibrations emerging crawled under the skin and weaved themselves through the tiny hairs on my stiff arm leaving them hung in antici....pation. My feelings toward goosebumps were misinterpreted as appreciated but truth is, I hate them! You never know when or where they might strike or even why. They were useless. The bass thumped in synchronisation with my barely beating heart but alas, it wasn't enough motivation to participate in the pointless festivities. The sofas and armchairs alike were pushed against several different walls in the attempt of creating a free space. In any case, their attempts were proved successful, looking as there were Gryffindors going wild on the impromptu dance floor, slobbering over each other regardless of gender, sexual orientation, blood status and most importantly, hygiene. The coffee table was found at the immediate entrance of the portrait hole and held on top of it; several bottles of Firewhiskey and Butterbeer stood with hundreds of cups, most already half-filled with alcohol that was left unattended and was positively swarming with disease but others were tipped over and turned upside down, wetting the table dripping down onto the previously clean carpeted floor. The smell of ethanol clung tightly to the air, thick in the loud and partying ambiance, waiting to be disrupted by the swerving dance monkeys. 

I went up to the common rooms to deposit my school backpack, making sure all of my books and parchment were safe and didn't get wet. Then I returned to the dirty haven of sweet self expression. Lily had already stripped of her outer layer of robes and had continued her rather inappropriate movements in the heart of the small crowd.

I plopped myself down on a pushed loveseat with a sip of Butterbeer. It was the drink with the smallest percentage of alcohol and I couldn't bear being hungover and disrupting my peaceful weekend of eating. Just imagine not being able to eat chocolate for a whole day because of headaches: unimaginable. I crossed my legs against the plush cushions and slowly sipped my drink, silently watching the grinding and careless gyrating that made me want to puke. 

I set down the cup at the notion of feeling queasy, when Sirius came closer. "Aren't you going to drink something with a little more...punch?" He emphasized the last word in a hidden blanket of forcefulness. When the rest of the Marauders -and Lily- caught wind of Sirius' screams over the volume, they came rushing over. 

"Come on Mooonnyyy!!! Just a few cups!" James had pitched his similar opinion into the coaxing conversation. Lily too had stopped her intoxicated twirling to include herself willingly into the talk. Peter too had been drawn to the scene like a moth to three incredibly drunk flames. Their persuasion attempts were futile because alcohol had a dangerous effect on me and it was one that I do not want to revisit after the one REALLY bad night I had to endure. It was hell on Earth, one that even Merlin himself couldn't survive. So no, I could not take another night and that means no drinking, no matter how much Sirius begged, with his little pouting lips that made him look like a cute little puppy that wanted snacks but no matter what, I was not going to give in to my undying love for Sirius. Maybe.

But his silver eyes pushed together causing his eyeballs to swirl with the tiny sparkles like shimmering glitter and molten diamond and with his furrowed brows forced together in the most adorable crease. Below were his perfectly moulded, luscious lips that pressed together set in silicon sublimity. Merlin, this boy was going to be the death of me. He was my only weakness.

"Maybe just one." 

I was handed a new cup of cold Firewhiskey, the irony only occurring to me in hindsight. As I sipped the nostalgic familiarity, it burned down my throat at a menacing pace, leaving a spicy aftertaste with a few stingy undertones. I felt as each drop travelled through my body, warming my body and easing the goosebumps. I forgot it did that. I wanted more, because if there was one thing I hate more than hangovers, it's goosebumps, the cantankerous evils. 

With just a simple cups of Firewhisky, the room began to spin and the fluorescent swirls blinded the dull hues with colour. The boundaries of existence were pushed to its limits as the alcohol sweats rolled down each strand of my hair. What was left of my contorted brain twisted and turned inside my head to the deliberately distorted melody of The Hobgoblins. I had no idea what was going on, BUT I WAS LOVING IT! 

But then abruptly, I felt another body in addition to Lily come up close and began rubbing -what I desperately hoped was not their genitalia- all over me. I looked up, my damp hair flipping to the back of my neck only to catch sight of the stuff of nightmares: my ex-boyfriend. 

And then the lines of life were all blurred, except for a few future memories.

I remember being pulled back by soft hands, away from the intensity and disturbance and in the opposite direction to my inevitable destiny. I tripped over the bare cement edges, sloppily self-thrown on the side, still having a radiating stranger wrapped to my body, clinging to me like I was a drug. 

The next thing I remember is throwing someone down onto my four-poster bed, the dominance of the werewolf within me began to show and I wasted no time in making sure the only layers between us were the sheets of lust. 

Then, I remember running my fingers over the supple yet toned chest of my prey. I run my tongue down his heated abdomen and bit down aggressively on his hard and attractive nipples. He worked out. I shuddered at the sensation; it was only my second time and a conscience -or in the bare minimum, control over my actions- was the farthest thing on my mind. 

I remember his delicious moans as they vibrated through my willing skin.

I remember stretching out his hair, pulling it for dear life as I rocked my hips back and forth to the pre-conceived rhythms in my head.

I remember gently caressing his soft skin and kneading it all the same as I pounded mercilessly.

And finally, I remember laying in the very same bed, the drowsiness and exhaustion of the sin preparing to consume my being. My hand subconsciously rubbing through the sticky substance in abundance on my sweaty chest, pulling over my duvet.

And the rest is a lascivious history.

**Word Count:- 1** **228**

_Love, Kale._


	33. Aftermath,

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~ LET'S GO~_

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I awoke with a pounding headache that harnessed enough pain to strike fear into the heart of Ares on his most evil of days. I pulled the fluffy duvet over up my unclothed body that was swarming with an uncomfortable mixture of sweat and other 'bodily fluids'. I clutched the side of my head in agony, my fingers combing themselves through my caramel locks. I scowled at the throbbing. I squinted hard enough to catch sight of the rest of the room. In Sirius' bed, he slept, the temptress who caused my hungover state, but as the brief memories returned it seemed clear my hangover was the last of my worries. Sirius was sprawled -in all his beautiful glory- over his four poster, but was covered by his blanket. He was of course, the first thing that caught my eye. Peter's bed was completely empty, but James' bed had a slender and unrecognizable figure sleeping soundly. It was a girl: Alice. I should have figured, she was always found passed out on someone's bed.

I stood up, halting for a few wasted seconds to regain my balance and stop my head from spinning with a passion. I sway over to the bathroom; I needed some rest and relaxation. I practically collapsed against wooden bathroom door. I hurriedly shut it again behind me, leaning on it. My breaths were getting audibly heavier and the sweat that stunk up my hair also increased by a visible amount. I clutched my torso in illness and stumbled forward toward the centre and tripped over myself, falling face first onto the open toilet seat. I felt the liquid contents rise up to the base of my throat. I coughed up the remnants of the ethanol consumption I partook in last night.

I stood up and went back to the sink, washing out my mouth. Honestly, I didn't usually have much of a gag reflex -which actually turned out to be a blessing to think of it- so barf never really bothered me.

I turned the faucets on to a comfortable temperature and watched. I watched the way the small streams ran down the white surface, its ataraxy soothing me. My shoulders slumped over in serenity as I observed the calm waterways as they created their own individual paths, not waiting for anyone else to carve out their own tracks. Oh, how I envied their independence and individuality. Spectacular. I wish I could proudly be my own person, knowing there were people who loved me, knowing they loved me for me. But I couldn't. No matter how much I knew that needed to, I couldn't. I wasn't ready. Not for five years, not now, maybe not ever. And it was heavily depressing, but that's just how it was. It may seem hard for people to understand, but no matter how incredibly decent I looked, most insecurities never go away, no matter the methods. And believe me, I tried all the methods.

The bathtub's water filled up to the brim and so I turned off the water and slipped into the warm pillow of solace. This will have been the best part of my day. Pure perfection.

After I had finished all I needed to, and the migraine that dominated my optimism had softened its control, I made my way down to the Common Room where I saw something interesting. James and Peter were cuddled up on one of the loveseats. James shifted uncomfortably -perhaps a random nightmare, I have them all the time- whereas Peter looked like the happiest rat in the world. But I had no time to wait, it was almost ten minutes to when breakfast at the Great Hall would begin. And that meant I was 20 minutes late for my daily rendezvous with Lily. SHE WAS GONNA BE MAD! I didn't have time to even question the two love animals, I simply ran out of the portrait hole and toward the Great Hall. I took whatever shortcuts I remember without actually looking at the Map, but it didn't help much. Thankfully I arrived with five minutes to go to a very upset Miss Lily Evans.

"I'm so sorry, but I have big news to tell you! That makes up for it right?"

"How big?"

"So big that it's embarrassing for me and I almost don't want to tell you."

"That big!? Oh Merlin, tell me!" She started jumping up and down in her seat as a few students began tiredly coming into the Hall, shoulders slumping with the weight of the early hour.

"I slept with TJ." She stared at my whispered response in confusion and hung bewilderment, but I answered before she could even ask the question. "Well, I was drunk, you know which was YOUR fault. And then I remember TJ dancing with me and then, some more...awkward positions that I'd rather not say." She gasped out a naughty smirk and wiggled her constantly suggestive eyebrows.

"Did you bottom?" Merlin, help all that is bad and evil.

"LILY!" I whisper-screamed and slapped her hard on the arm. Of course she didn't even flinch at the light pain; I couldn't slap very hard. "But no, I didn't."

"You know, that was totally worth the 25 minutes I wasted doing absolutely nothing." I watched as the Marauders -immersed in the crowds- stumbled into the Great Hall. Ignoring James and Peter, Lily and my eyes were drawn to one thing: the infamous Sirius Black. His flawless, dark hair was pulled back into a messy bun, with a few perfect strands sticking out in perfectly planned blueprints. But his unconditional beauty wasn't the reason he now drew the attention of every single person in the Great Hall, actually it was the numerous love bites that littered the length of his fabulous neck. There were the expected responses from all the girls that I could hear like 'Who did that to him?' and 'Lucky bitch' and other really rude ones that I ignored. I don't get it, I was just as jealous -if not more envious- of him, but I didn't voice my opinion!

"Wow Siri, which _girl_ got the better of you last night?" James sounded less light-hearted and more anxiously curious.

"I have no idea, but she was probably another crazy." I had only heard tales of the sexual and mystical adventures Sirius' girlfriends had taken him all, in fact I wish I hadn't heard some of them, it was almost like they were made up. And they were disgusting.

"Why do you say that?" Peter questioned. He was less enthusiastic than usual but like a buzzing bee compared to the rest of us subdued sloths.

"Well for starters, my ass hurts like crazy!" Excuse you. Did he just s- what.

"Hmm kinky." James shrugged it off. This was really bad.

Oh fuck me, I just fucked Sirius Black.

Just my-

"Fuck."

**Word Count:- 1** **157**

_Love, Kale._


	34. Consequences of the Heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. Severus' collage.  
> The black heart represents well, a black heart, A heart so possessed by hate and anger that it has changed. It also symbolises how he is poisoned but his peers.  
> The cauldron and the terrible potions alike are to demonstrate his obvious love and knack for potions.  
> The distilled happiness is quite obvious and shows how much he strives after happiness.  
> The Dark Mark is kinda like *foreshadowing*  
> The snake -as you will find out- is found in all the collages I find the people to be antagonistic in my story and therefore illustrates opposite views and conflicting points.  
> The tear can be interpreted by a tear of love, a tear of hate, or most importantly, a tear of pain.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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"LILY!"

"Stop screaming, I'm literally sitting right here." I retorted in an upset tone, which he apparently promptly ignored. He then gritted his teeth and tightly clutched my wrist and sternly dragged me out of the Great Hall through the large, oak doors toward the lawns. I stayed quiet, he earned my silence by revealing what he knew, even though I would have practically found out myself. I made no immediate objections, because in all honesty, I was kind of curious as to what this big news was and why it was so important that he had to drag me out to the grounds. "Okay Lupin, what do you have to tell me." No matter what or how big this revelation was, it WAS NOT worth missing breakfast; I need my bacon!

"Okay, Lily. Listen, remember how I told you I think I had sex with TJ?"

"Sort of hard to forget." I couldn't have possibly forgotten about any of Remus' sexual encounters -especially considering there was only one as of yesterday, only one that he was nervous about least- mostly because I found it far too incredibly amusing. The contrasted attitudes that the rest of the Marauders had and I had were so strikingly different and I found it hilarious that their image of Remus was this perfect, innocent little child who just wanted to eat chocolate; that's actually quite accurate. But nevermind that, I had far more pressing issues, or rather, I was about to have far more pressing issues. 

"Yes, well anyway. Turns out it wasn't him." It was an unusual thing, but whenever I was confronted with Remus' affairs, I was completely clueless to what was going on, my instincts turned unbelievably numb and my thought process self-destructed and collapsed upon itself. 

"Well, who was it. Wait! WAS IT A DREAM?!" If he had put me through all of this for nothing, I would have been so mad. I had to endure a whole ten minutes of internal suffering on behalf of Remus and it was all for nothing? Unacceptable. 

"No, it w-"

"Severus?" I ignored his statement at the sight of Severus coming down from the castle. But that wasn't exactly what caught my eye. He had two male accompaniments during his descent. The one that led the group was rather good looking. He had that bed-hair look with black, messily tousled locks and his dazzling, brown eyes sparkled with a proud look and the tip of his mouth curled up in a smirk cum sneer as he scanned the space around him. The other boy was rather similar, except he was taller and much more recognizable as one of my well-known foes and I was not about about to start liking him. In fact, I despised the both of them: Bartemius and Lucius. 

And their rhyming names just made it that much easier to structure educational insults toward them.

Returning to the point, no matter how good looking they were -I felt guilty even finding Barty good looking- considering there were pure evil. Rumours have also flown about their allegiance to certain individuals that I would do better avoiding. What was truly appalling however, was that Severus had the audacity to befriend them after I had specifically mentioned time and time again to avoid them. They were a bad influence or in simpler terms, toxic. 

"Lily, hi." He brushed his hair out from in front of his face, revealing his pale face. He smiled slightly, but it quickly faded after he identified my stern facial expression. He stepped out from the 'golden trio' and emerged in the front while the other two sniggered behind his back, probably at some obscene and inconsiderate joke that they instigated. 

"Severus! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING!" I burst with all my pent up energy toward Severus that had accumulated by itself inside over the past few weeks in a whisper-scream. His new, immediate group of friends had been the last straw and the main cause of my on and off relationship with him. But him lying straight to my face was pure bogus and I am done with blindly accepting it. I couldn't survive the emotional rollercoaster he constantly put me through. "Haven't you heard that they work for You-Know-Who?!" I did my best to ensure the deadly duo didn't catch wind of my outburst, it didn't want to risk being in the bad books of someone like that. 

"Those are just rumours, Lily." Unlike me, Severus clearly didn't share the same fear and his tone continued to be sarcastically available. "Don't worry." I barely even noticed that the rest of the Marauders had appeared, but I was too focussed on my rant to care. They stood rather awkwardly, simply watching with slight amusement as I scolded their nemesis. 

"Severus, you can't poison yourself with such crowds." I could tell by his face, that Severus was getting more and more upset and straying from the sarcastic voice he previously spoke with. He was getting visibly angrier and much more fed up with my shouting. 

"Ugh, stop being such a Mudblood!"

Mudblood.

Mudblood.

Mudblood.

Mudblood.

Mudblood.

The word kept repeating itself. Its volume echoed through each cell of my being, deafening my senses. I could no longer feel the glacial nature of the harsh, winter air. I could no longer flinch at the prickling feeling of the icy thorns that stung my skin. I could no longer hear the eager snickers of the sinister posse coming from not far away. I could no longer keep the painful flood of emotion at bay. I could no longer shudder at the icy gales without becoming too aware of the situation. I could no longer notice the small breeze that temporarily caused my airborne strands to relinquish control of themselves. I could no longer do anything but drown in the solemn emotional tears of self-pity and abhorrence. I could no longer feel.

The world seemed a blur as my senses were drowned out in the numbness. 

My knees wobbled under the sudden heavy pressure and weight of my body. The bottom of my lip quivered and I felt my robes weigh down with sweat. My skin was slippery and I felt stuffier than I ever have. The feeling I experienced was inexplicably curious. My insides disintegrated into a bottomless pit of despair. My emotions wallowed in their useless deprecation and collapse. For a few pure moments of bliss, I felt the entire basis of my being crumble beneath my very plain of existence. I felt absolutely nothing. 

And I was ashamed because of it.

I tried to make sense of my surroundings, but I had nothing. Thankfully in the very least, my physical feeling returned early enough to notice the pair of arms that clutched me tightly, preventing my fall: James. But I couldn't muster enough energy to focus on anything other than a carelessly thrown slur. 

How does this end?

What comes out of it?

How much damage does it cause?

How much suffering are we forced to survive?

_How much pain are we meant to endure before we watch our entire world crash and burn before our eyes?_

How m-

"Fuck you, Snape." 

My frame of mind returned to its original state soon enough to realise what was going on. I crane my head -which as of now required much more energy than I was willing to offer- to catch sight of the curser: the one and only Mister Remus Lupin. He was hidden among the huddled crowds, but he certainly made his presence known to those around him. The throng parted for him, revealing Remus, who stood an offensive stance with his wand raised at the ready and it was pointed at the subject of his hatred, Snape. His eyes stared superciliously at his prey as he prepared himself. "You crossed the line. She is my best friend and it is my job to protect her when she can't protect herself. I will be there for her."

"Always." 

His bottom jaw trembled with the anger he felt as his arm shook with the anticipation of what was to happen next. 

Then, his hand flicked and out of the end shot a bright red light, a Disarming Charm. That was followed by another, and then another. The silent flick of his wand sent new charms fired and no matter how hard he tried, they could not be deflected. Remus' arm swayed back and forth furious with the situation as he inched closer and closer, his eyes not giving away a hint of disobedience. His actions were collected and composed and his concentration all but shook the slightest bit. 

The students gathered around the improved spectacle to observe the magnificence of the circumstances. I made no objection to the one-sided duel, mostly out of a spur-of-the-moment spiteful vengeance. 

Snape stumbled with the sheer strength of the spells that hit him and then proceeded to fall flat on his back, allowing me a clear view of his solemn state. His face was unrecognizable with the steep number of warts and boils that covered every inch of it. His bare arms had slits and bruises oozing with the ruby-coloured liquid of cowards and the salty spring was found, never running dry that only aided by increasing the pain of his wounds.

"MISTER LUPIN!?" Remus stopped in his tracks and raised his face to catch sight of a bewildered Professor McGonagall standing near the staircases of the Great Hall, towering over the entire endeavour. 

"Professor, how lovely to see you!" His constant stream of spells came to a halt as he spoke. "Could you give me a moment, please." He then turned back to Snape at the duo of croonies. "Incarcerous." With a flick of his wrist, bands of rope tied the three together on the soft grass. 

"Mister Lupin!"

"Ah yes. Shall we professor?"

**Word Count:- 1** **789**

_Love, Kale._


	35. Deten- Arranged Encounter

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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"I expected such rash behaviour from Mister Black, maybe even Mister Potter but this is completely out of character for you." McGonagall sat across from me in a rather large and intimidating chair, though it isn't like she needed it with that sinister yet stern smolder. Her glasses stood proudly on the tip of her creased nose and her hands were folded on the edge of her desk. Her breathing was heavily laboured due to the awkward complexity of the situation. She spoke, still in a slightly exasperated tone, taken aback by my abnormal behaviour. The mood she created for us to converse in was strict and completely in her favour which was understandable as of now considering she was victimising Snape instead of Lily. She had seldom ever seen me upset -not many Professors had actually- or furious. It was not because I didn't get angry easily, which was most definitely not the case. On the contrary, I get upset _very_ quickly. But, there are not many people I confide in when it does happen. The usual is obviously Lily. She seemed the obvious option considering she knew me the best, and still does. But somewhere during Second Year, I found myself sobbing on my four-poster with the curtains drawn while Lily was with other friends. And that was the day my friendship with James grew dramatically. He truly was a better friend than people made him out to be. 

"I apologize for my inappropriate conduct, but whatever punishment you have planned for me, I do not think I deserve it." I was still radiating with rage of my prior encounter but I spoke the truth, I don't think I deserve whatever she has in store; I acted only because of Snape's verbal bashing, so obviously it was _his_ fault!

"Oh. Then tell Mister Lupin, who's fault is it?" Her tone now changed to slightly sarcastic and in faux surprise. Her hands moved position so that her head rested in the crook of her palms. Her eyebrows raised and her lips were a little pursed in false anticipation. Then, she -who was starting to look like a comic book character- waited for a response. Under the usual circumstances, I might have probably just retorted with a sardonic statement but I genuinely wanted to get out of there and just spend the rest of the day sleeping or binging on chocolate. So instead, I just answered as straightforwardly as I could possibly comprehend. 

"Snape." Her brows furrowed momentarily before resuming her interrogation.

"And do enlighten me, Mister Lupin, how in Merlin's name is this the fault of Mister Snape. I'm positively dying to know!" Her blatant sarcasm obviously didn't go unnoticed and no matter how much she was irritating me and this point, I harnessed everything I had to keep my cool, but I'm afraid I would soon run out. 

"He verbally abused my best friend and I defended her. It's rather simple actually, Professor." Her empty sneer evolved into a more prudent indifference within a matter of seconds. A good thing too cause my levels of calmness were decreasing by considerable amounts. 

"Continue." 

"He threw a very inappropriate slur, with respect to her blood status and it was completely unjustifiable." Her hands loosened as well and laid carelessly on the table by now, but her eyebrows still had the same sense of interest and curiosity etched into them.

"And?"

"And I defended her. I simply countered his ridiculous verbal attack at my best friend. The only difference was I countered it with magic. Not complicated at all." I sassed back a little; I'm not keen on being here much longer, I need to get back to the dorms and sort out my one night stand with my number one crush for about six years. Obviously that took precedence over whatever I was doing here right now. 

"And that's why you believe you should flee the dire consequences I would enforce?" 

"Precisely." I was not in the mood to endure cleaning the Trophy Room twice a week when I was innocent. 

"Well, that may seem reasonable to you, but how would Mister Snape feel about the partiality on my part?" To be completely honest, I couldn't give less of a damn about what Snape thought because I was not in the mood to adjust to his invalid needs. "Especially considering he has to spend two days in the Hospital Wing."

"All I did was give him a few friendly boils. Actually made him better looking." She hid her smile but it was rather obvious. She wasn't the biggest fan of Snape either though teachers shouldn't technically pick favourites. I guess Snape is an exception considering he's a huge arse.

"Very well. But I'm afraid under these specific circumstances, I cannot just let you off with a warning."

"I can however ease the punishment by taking into consideration the fact that you have never been in this situation before." I smiled at her bending the rules to her will. 

"Thank you, Professor. But I was wondering if you could do me a favour and not call it a detention?" She held a confused expression so I went on. It was an odd request but I was determined to accomplish my feat. "This is a no-detention year for the Marauders." I cleared thing up.

"That explains a lot. But, of course. So I will see you on Thursday for our...arranged encounter, then. I will send you the details, you may show yourself out." I didn't wait to object, I simply muttered a note of thanks and got the hell out of there. I walked out of the room and straight to the Common Room. But something happened that I dreaded since the day I came to Hogwarts: I got noticed.

Ever since First Year, I always did my best to hide in the shadows of the large and unique status quo. It got harder with time. As James' Quidditch popularity grew, so did the status of the Marauders. Thankfully, I remained the least-known of the group therefore, my incognito image persisted. My job got harder in more recent years as Lily also rose in favour, but it stayed intact when I learned that no one cared about friends, just her. Overall, half the school had no idea I existed and I love it. 

But my efforts were all for nothing the second I cursed Snape into the depths of hell. On my way back, instead of people not knowing who the hell I was, they actually acknowledged me. More than that, they INTERACTED with me! They handed me bars of chocolate -how did they know of my insane obsession with chocolate- as I walked past them in the hallway. They cheered at my confidence and chivalry. 

Attention; I hate it.

But I could get used to the chocolate. 

**Word Count:- 11** **55**

_Love, Kale._


	36. Full Moon Feels.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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I breached through the shack at the back of the group. James still kept eyeing me suspiciously. His mind multitasked between scrutinizing me and ogling Lily. It was astonishing how my internal doubt had continued on for several weeks, the conflict had began to drive me mad. And even though the self acceptance had definitely worked, now that I had gotten over my own supercilious mind, my pain had begun to ease and became less unbearable. I still found it hard to believe, it almost felt unreal. And as much as I wanted it to be in a good way, I hated the ghosting feeling. It was like all that I thought I knew was crumbling at an obscenely glacial pace and I had a front seat in witnessing my life fall apart. I had desperately tried to convince myself it wasn't true, but I knew deep inside that it was. James had incessantly tried to validate my crippling soul, but I assured him 'it's fine' and prayed he moved on. 

The sensation of acceptance was a weird one. I won't say awkward, because it wasn't, it was just weird. My mind manipulated itself into working differently on a daily basis, and I didn't know whether it was positive or not. It's inexplicable. 

The weight I lived with, I knew about it but I never knew what it was there for. It like a shadow that I didn't know existed in the day, but in the night, it came to haunt me in my dreams. It ghosted around the depths of my conscious feeding on my curiosity and rationality and only leaving an evergreen forest of ignorance in its midst. It was the stuff of nightmares. But as soon as I accepted it, it was lifted; a miracle. It was a feeling I wouldn't forget. 

But nothing went to normal, it couldn't. The stability I had controlled before was too far out of my reach. Everything changed. Suddenly, I became too aware of what would happen and worried about the possibilities my revelation had unlocked. 

But the worst part of the whole ordeal had to be my family. Walburga would never accept it. She hated me enough for being in Gryffindor and hanging out with Lily. I told James thee worst she would do was disown me.

It was a lie.

She's already tortured me, the fact of my less-than-appealing sexuality could very well be the cause of my death. But I tried not to think about my impending doom if she ever found out. Usually I would be all for opposing her evil ways, but I would very much like to keep my life. 

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be forced to marry a third cousin and have enough kids to please my parents and become something anxiously monotonous like a banker. The thought of quite literally living a lie was less than attractive, but as each day passed, my fears increased that it would be the inevitable. 

My feet subconsciously dragged me to the room where I transformed back into a dog. James and Remus were going through their monthly emotional traumas that include hardcore crying from at least one of them, too much hugging and loads of inappropriate stares to make the rest of us uncomfortable. 

But then it continued. It was odd because I was sure I felt something wrong, something felt a little off. Almost as if a halt should have been implemented to their affections but it wasn't. 

Then, as the long-lasting hug began, there was a shift in peace. 

Remus fell to the ground screaming shrilly and clutching his sides. The tears flowed out more easily, dampening his imperfect skin. His back bent in ways it wasn't supposed to and hand struggled for a sense of relief on the floor, scratching the wood. But the hair on the back of my neck stood as I realised they weren't hands; they were claws. The hair on his head darkened and overgrew and the fur forming soaked up his tears. As he continued his cries, his front teeth elongated and sharpened into threatening fangs. His shouts turned into roars and his whimpers turned into growls. His new claws itched at his own body. It was terrifying.

"Lily, run." Snapping back to my senses, I transformed and turned to see the other three halfway to the door. I looked back one more time; his eyes lifted to meet mine. They screamed pain. The shiny glaze that rested on top begged for innocence and refuge, they conveyed a cry for some aid. 

"SIRIUS!" I turned to leave, running to the door. They were waiting for me at the passage/hole. I leaped as I ran, but I could sense the violence and helplessness of the werewolf on my trail. I reached it, but as I turned for one last look, I saw him standing there, his eyes narrowed. I barked, to hopefully send a warning, though there was no way I could survive conflict with him. But he retreated. I watched as his eyes eased and his look of pleading returned once more. I moved forward instinctively, but then.

"Protego!" Lily had fired her defensive spell and I saw Remus cower in true fear of the light barrier. I wasted no more time and simply exited the treacherous shack. 

"What happened back there?" James questioned as we were under the cloak and heading back. I had forgotten my Muggle watch in the confused haze that is my emotional stability. 

"Didn't you see him?" 

"Yes, a bloodthirsty werewolf who could have killed us!"

"No, he wouldn't. His eyes, they were so sad, as though he was asking for help." When I imagined what his lycanthropy transformation would be like, I never thought it would be as bad as that. He just looked so scared, and helpless and that hurt me more than any wound he is able to inflict upon me. I always thought his scars were a result of his anger, I never realised he did it to himself on purpose. When he bled, it didn't look like he cared, because he thought he deserved it. When he cried, it wasn't out of agony and because he knew what was coming. but because he felt deserving of his self inflictions. I was mistaken all these years. When he returned with uncontrollable scars and endless tear stains running down his cheeks, I assumed it a product of his weakness. But he was strong, stronger than any single person I have met. I was wrong.

**Word Count:- 110** **8**

_Love, Kale._


	37. battlefield

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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I crept out before everyone else could. My mind was packed with the thoughts of a thousand cities. Their clouded skies sheltered my broken emotions and the shells of tears dampened what little sanity I had left. The madness that ensued inside was not mirrored thankfully, but the war that charged forward wasn't planning on stopping any time soon. The doomsday clock ticked as the rumbles of their feet carried them loftily to their defeat. The dead bodies waited to be accounted for and the blood that coursed prepared to be shed. The gates of hell calmly welcomed their new additions, waiting to drop the facade and let the souls of those dropped in vain burn until their screams were masked with the evil laughter of their horned foe. But no matter who knew what the outcome of the war called for, they fought to their inevitable deaths waiting to be cherished as martyrs on this plane of existence while they willingly tread the path to their demise. The violence and pain caused was all for nothing as the white flag of inferiority was waved and the last shred of reason I held was given back to me and the wholesome feeling of acceptance was decided. Before I could make sense of my dark surrounding, I had reached my destination. This was something I had to do to make peace with my enemies of insanity. I walked quietly through the familiar pathway toward my target. 

He looked peaceful while he slept, unlike me during the unknown moments of the night. It had barely been a few hours since the shack, but this had to be done and if I didn't do it now, I might live with a deprecating conscience for the rest of my days until the last piece of myself was torn away with a force stronger than I could ever hope to comprehend. His resigned expression demonstrated this would be a perfect time for this; it meant he was content with himself and with his life. Perfect.

"Hey Remus." My voice was a little hoarse from not speaking for a while. I could Remus had just been brought in; the cuts and bruises hadn't been treated yet. Madam Pomfrey would probably be back soon so I would have to hurry. "I just wanted to talk. I haven't slept yet because I just needed to get this out as soon as possible." I took a deep breath to compose myself. I had to get it out all at once. 

"You've been there for me the most apart from James obviously, but I realise that you have no idea what's been going on. And to be completely honest, I was not even thinking of telling you. I thought of you as any other nerd. You never wanted to have fun, you never cursed, you always just studied but of course,we did grow up sort of together so you were still my friend, a very good one. But when I saw you transform, everything changed, you were anything but the weak and scared boy I thought you were. When I looked into your eyes, I didn't see a vicious werewolf out to establish himself as my worst nightmare, instead I saw Remus. A very scared and hurting and pleading Remus who wanted nothing more than for help from his friends. Your appearance may have deceived me but your eyes spoke and showed me the helpless person you were underneath. That image has been stuck inside my head for about five hours now and I still can't make the littlest of sense out of why you didn't kill me when you had multiple chances. But my change of attitude has also caused me to have a drastic change of heart. Oddly enough, that's how it works with me, likeness is based on personality. I'm super weird." I wasn't trying to go for an all in one breath sort of ordeal. I wanted to take my time, take it slow and say what I wanted to say. 

"Anyway, that's why I'm telling you what I'm telling you. You were mostly an open book when in came to experience so I am going to return the favour. That week where I 'went missing' was where it all started. Or more specifically, your date. I won't go into the details, but I will say that I did not do 'it' with Amelia that day. In fact, as of then I was a virgin." I saw him shift in his sleep but he showed no signs of waking up so I continued. "I know it's a bit of a shock but it's true. Anyway, I did eventually do it but there was a reason. It was less for the pleasure and more to try and bargain with myself weirdly enough. You see the thing is, I think I'm gay." I closed my eyes shut as my word burst out of me. A warm and comforting tear trailed down my cheek and dropped onto Remus' curled hand, causing it to flinch. "I couldn't accept it so I tried to force myself to be straight. Needless to say, I failed." I chuckled through the wet pain. "It's just I can't be gay. I just can't be. Life is hard enough as it is, I don't need this to make it that little bit worse." Remus hand was soaked by now, but I hoped he didn't wake up. "I know this may seem stupid, I'm talking to one of my unconscious best friends about my life problems. Hell for all I know, you could be homophobic but, but I just needed to talk to someone and you said that you would always be there in situations like these, so I came here. I just wanted to say 'thank you Remus'. See you later." And with that, I stood from the chair beside his bed, gave him a small peck on the cheek and I left, without another word left to be said.

**Word Count:- 100** **7**

 _Love, Kale._


	38. Statement from a Sentimental Superior...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. Frank's Collage  
> The oranges are marking his citrus-y and sharp kind of smell.  
> The autumn leaves are similar, they are a symbol of the calm and breezy and laid back attitude he carries with him.  
> The quote is a literal way of how important the power of friendship is to him and how ultimately, it trumps everything else and it means the world to him.  
> The Starburst is just to show his love for candy in general.  
> The orange Converse are kind of his trademark, no matter what he's doing, always the damn Converse and it makes him that much hotter.  
> And finally the basketballs are to express his proficiency and love for Quidditch but also Muggle sports and games and his equal love for both.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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The Hall buzzed with the company of all the Hogwarts students as we were sat and eating dinner peacefully. Remus had returned from the Hospital Wing, mostly for the food. Sirius had been acting differently lately, in a good way. I hoped he had gotten over his deprecating thoughts but nevertheless, I was happy that he was happier. I had asked Lily out again for the Hogsmeade trip this weekend -the last weekend before Christmas break- but no my disappointment, I suffered defeat once more before Lily left to sit with her other friends. Everything was the usual, nothing out of the norm until dessert.

After the main meal concluded, the dessert didn't appear like it was supposed to. Instead, Professor Dippet stood up and walked to his fancy podium, clearing his throat and probably preparing himself for a speech or some notices or announcements or a lengthy farewell even though he would see us again in a couple of weeks. Professor Dippet was truly a sentimental man. "May I have your attention everyone!" His voice boomed through the room as he spoke with his wand to his neck. All those who hadn't noticed him turned their heads and there was perfect silence. "Right. As you all know, our darling Seventh Years are answering their very important NEWTs next year. And though studying will help you massively of course, it has been brought to my attention that some of you are overworking yourselves. I know this because just the other day, I was taking my usual stroll and I found a student passed out on three Herbology textbooks and four cups of coffee. I'm looking at you, Mister Shingleton." I have no idea who that is, but I estimated he was in Ravenclaw judging by the accusatory looks that Dippet sent that way. Needless to say, I was disturbed by the image. To rectify the exhaustion of any more of my students, Hogwarts is hosting a party." Murmurs, gasps and cheers alike rang through the closed area before he continued. "A Winter Cotillion of sorts is to be held directly after Christmas holidays for the Sixth and Seventh Years. It is of course optional, without a dress code except 'be decent' and most importantly, there will be no alcohol of any kind served at the ball." The content atmosphere was dulled with the sound of groans and moans and 'awww's and 'ohhh's. "Very well, that will be all. You may continue with dessert." And dessert appeared in front of us.

This could very well be either the time I get a date with Miss Lily Evans, or it could be the biggest disappointment I will ever endure for all my past and future years of living. I had to play my cards right if I wanted to make a successful ask. I shouldn't make it big, so then if I'm turned down, no one who needn't would have to know. But then again, perhaps Lily is one for the big theatrical aspects so I should make a spectacle of myself and amaze her, even though it could result in public embarrassment. No, I could never survive that kind of humiliation. I will make it special, yet private. Maybe some flowers, or chocolate. I'm sure girls love chocolate. Or maybe flowers _and_ chocolate. That would be perfect. 

I, James Potter, _will_ ask out the girl of my dreams, Lily Evans, to the Winter Cotillion!

"Good for you, mate."

"Thinking out loud?"

"Yep."

**Word Count:-** **713**

_Love, Kale._


	39. EXCITE!

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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It was loud in the Common Room; louder than it usually was. Everyone was hyperactive with the sugar-y sense of anticipation that cascaded down their veins as they shuffled around anxiously. It was both understandable and beyond my levels of comprehension. The stupid as fuck cotillion was to be held shortly after the Christmas holidays. Which is why the students went out of their way to extend their invitations to be their date to the dance. It was completely useless, I cannot wrap my head around the fact why anyone would even go to a party -with teachers- when the NEWTs were only next year. It was preposterous and positively insane. People even went as far as skipping classes just so they wouldn't feel lonely and sad because they lost their most important source of blatant validation. 

But not me, I was not going to waste my time with such antics, I was going to spend the day doing something worth my time: sleeping. As of now, it was Potions and I was sure as hell not going to miss the best lesson of the year. It was going to be be amazing. I gathered my stuff and walked down to the dungeons where I found Remus and the rest of the Marauders standing at the entrance. I was jittery with excitement for this lesson and I could not contain myself as it drew closer. "REMUS, Remus do you know what today's lesson is?!"

"Noooo? Am I supposed to?"

"It's fine, you'll find out." We entered the dungeon where a chirpy Slughorn waited to greet our arrivals. In front of him, there lay a giant cauldron of a beautiful, swirling liquid with an intriguing gas that oozed brilliantly off the surface of the glorious liquid. I had long waited for this moment and now that it was finally here, I was fulfilled just knowing how amazing today would be. I was encapsulated by the eager curiosity for myself and others and the wonders today would bring to unlock mysteries I wouldn't even know about.

"Is that everyone?" Half of the class was absent; they had no idea what they were missing out on. The blithering buffoons. "Very well then, we shall begin the lesson. For today, we will be conquering a rather difficult potion. The infamous Love Potion, Amortentia."

"Eeek." I shrieked uncontrollably, but thankfully it was too high-pitched for anyone else except Sirius to hear. Professor continued. I especially noticed that a few of the students had now showed more interest. Their ears perked up, encouraging him to go on. 

"Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in existence. It's considered to be an extremely powerful potion and is therefore highly dangerous. Despite its power however, Amortentia doesn't create actual love." A few of the students smiles dropped, but obviously love is too powerful to ever be created. "For it is of course impossible to manufacture or imitate love in any way. It only causes an incredibly strong infatuation or obsession from the drinker to the brewer. Usually, it is not the easiest potion to create or identify. However, it has one distinct characteristic that is unmistakable. The potion emits a different aroma for everyone who smells it, reminding each person of the things that they find most attractive, even if the person doesn't acknowledge or is unaware of their fondness for the object themselves." That was the true reason I was so thrilled about today's lesson. I wanted to know what it was I craved the most so I could strive to achieve it. I needed to know. Not to mention I totally had to know whether Remus smelled dog because that would be gold. "To clear any confusion, I shall give you all an example. I smell the wonderful scent of sweet honey, freshly cut lavender and delicious, delicious pineapple to name a few. Subsequently, you will all smell what you most desire." I wasn't close enough to catch a sniff of the potion yet, but I will know. "This will take at least a few days to prepare so we will not be brewing it today. We will however be examining it. So step closer." Ah, my time has come. I stepped reluctantly.

It was weird.

I had been waiting for this moment for a long while now, but as it drew closer, I didn't know whether I wanted it to happen any more. The potion would tell me what I desired. This single moment could very well extract all the surprise and joy out of my life. It could change the course of my life, and it may not be for the better. Did I want to spend my days wondering how I would finally reach my goals and waste it. But if I didn't smell it, I could very well brush past what I strived for and never achieve what I desire the most. What do I do?

"I don't care what existential crisis you're going through, you have to smell this. Like, now!" Remus snapped me out of my thoughts with the voice of reason. I nodded in response and stepped closer to the pot. 

And I was engulfed in the heavenly smells as they captured me in their delectable traps. I smelt the glorious smell of books. I was in a rustic library, lit by the dying flames of lamps, surrounded by millions of books of all kind. Their covers brought comfort and relaxation. The sight was amazing and beyond my wildest dreams. But as I jumped up and down, I fell into a snug pillow of sand. And through the haze that consumed me, I was transported to a pristine sea shore. The waves lapped over each other happily and the slight spray of water that came in short bursts of pride was a welcome change in violent nature. Then, as I turned around, a forest. The mist made it impossible to see anything, but it didn't matter, I was content with just being there letting the ways of the forest take over me. But as I tried to take a step, I slipped on the slippery mass of moss and fell. But I fell down on a soft bed of grass. Just grass for miles and miles on end and I never wanted to leave the simple and beautiful land. 

"So, what do you smell?" But I was forced to leave the heaven that was so unbelievable that is was fake.

"Books, the calm ocean, a misty forest and grass. Odd combination. I suppose they're all metaphors." I mean, it seems pretty impossible that grass and water are my life's ambition. What a bore! "You?" I asked it as discreetly as possible, but this was a big revelation. I wanted to know whether his feelings were real, or this was another long-term crush. It was essential I knew, even though it wouldn't change any circumstance around here.

"A lot of things. Mainly chocolate, coffee and chocolate coffee." He avoided my gaze and pretended to focus on the cauldron. It was obvious he smelt something more. Something he wanted to hide from me. His behaviour had been awfully secretive lately, but this was one topic he couldn't avoid. 

"And?" 

"Nothing."

"Remus, I swear to Me-"

"Fine. I smell mint, mint shampoo." Sirius' hair products. Nice, we're getting warmer, but there must be a distinct smell. There was something else, and I needed it for confirmation. I stared him straight in the eye, with an evil death stare which I hoped was enough to set him off and tell me. "And you know."

"Wet dog?" I asked with a smile, a mischievous one at that.

"Why wet? I won't even deny the dog, but it isn't wet."

"I don't know." Just then, behind us emerged James and Sirius. They probably came with the similar idea of finding out what our desires were. We told them ours, or at least I did. Remus successfully avoided an awkward situation with dire ramifications. Then, they told us theirs

"I smell Quidditch supplies, snow and blueberries. No idea why." James answered. Of course he would have something Quidditch-related. But what did catch my attention was the berries.

"Blueberries? Curious." I slapped Remus on the arm.

"Well I just smell chilli, Firewhisky, moist mud and get this, chocolate caramel! Weird right. I don't even like caramel"

**Word Count:-** **14** **00**

_Love, Kale._


	40. Cotillion

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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Christmas holidays were already upon us. Those who had to would leave first thing tomorrow morning, of course that didn't weigh anyone's priorities towards packing their bags. I was heading back -for a new holiday to another extravagant place that I would immensely enjoy- as well as James and Sirius so unfortunately Remus would be stuck with Peter. I wasn't sure about leaving him, but I had no choice. I just hope Remus didn't get too lonely. But anyway, I was going to make the most of our time together like now, a nice lunch together. It would be our last lunch for a few weeks. 

"So, are you going to the dance?" I doubt someone of Remus' calibre would waste his time but I needed to be sure of his intentions. In fact, I could go as far as saying I was sure he didn't want to go, my motives were actually to plan ahead and figure out what it is he wanted to do while the rest sloppily shook to the loud music. 

"Not sure." 

"You actually want to willingly go to a school dance?" I found the notion of it, and simply saying it out loud, positively disturbing. "Why?" 

"These kind of opportunities don't just come. We've never had a school dance and we probably never will. I don't want to waste this. Even if it means going alone, which it won't." Of course, I never even considered a date. That either makes this situation ten times better or ten times worse; I'm not sure I want to find out which. But nevertheless, he treats it like a big deal, but obviously it wasn't. It was just a dance, a simple gathering, it would make no significant difference whether we attended or not. Dances are stupid and always will be. "Lily, it's the event of the year, if you aren't going to go for any other reason, at least go to have fun with your friends. A special night with the people you love, don't you want to experience that?!" 

"I hang out with you people enough." 

"Lily, you can study all you want, I am going to this shitty dance with or without you." He still sounded hopeful even through his words which suggested otherwise. I really didn't want to go to this dance, but since Remus wanted to go so badly, perhaps I could make a sacrifice for him? "I'm sure Harriet would be more than happy to go with me. I would suffer but I would be there still."

"So you really want to go to this?" He tried to make his large, puppy dog eyes and nodded repeatedly with a pout. "Then I guess you won't have to go with Harriet." Remus practically squealed and hug me halfway through a bite. It was quite disgusting actually; he almost got food all over me. Gross. 

"Great, well I gotta go but thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you and see you later." He pecked my cheek and and walked away without another word. 

But I wasn't left in silence for long, soon James and Sirius had come and sat down across from me, looking extra jittery. James was totally unpredictable but I already knew that whatever was going to happen, whatever he planned to do that made him so amused, I am already tired of it. 

"Hey Lily." I didn't reply which apparently to him meant continue with whatever treacherous and painfully undetailed plan to wrong a right or break another section of Hogwarts and endanger minors. "So the dance is coming up." He was suddenly very out of breath, no idea why. Sirius was also being incredibly quiet which was definitely not normal so something was up. "Well, if you don't you know have a date-"

"Oh James, I'm so sorry, but I already do." 

"Oh okay, well that's fine."

Of course, how on Earth did I not see this coming. And now, because of my stupid choices, James was going to kill my best friend.

Fantastic.

**Word Count:- 6** **80**

_Love, Kale._


	41. Aspire to Have Aspirations

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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I brushed out my hair in the long, sleek mirror. It had an excessive amount of Gryffindor stickers pasted to the edges of the reflective glass. Yet again, I found myself caught in the same toxic situation. Voices were faintly heard from the downstairs. I had no idea who was downstairs but I didn't want to know anyway, they could go suck it. I waited for the wooden door to slam behind whatever pretentious guests our house welcomed in. This would of course be followed by the depressing sight of my forlorn brother asking me to accompany his sad arse downstairs only to get mine whooped at the hand of _her_. That was something I was not looking forward to. 

The awaited bang echoed through my empty, hollowed out room. All my gorgeous posters had been painfully ripped into shreds while I had been at school, as I couldn't scrape together energy to bring myself to replace any of them. I flopped down on the bed, the deafening sound of my jagged breaths taking precedence in terms of sound. I stopped to strain my ears for the apologetic voice of my brethren as he led me to a fate I had no control over. 

I waited, and waited and waited.

But what ensued was equally inviting but was somehow even scarier. The shrill voice of my most useless parent rang through the closed room. I sat up abruptly at the obnoxiously loud screaming of my name. My breaths seemed to stop, plunging the bedroom into another plight of silence. I wasted no time in getting off the soft mattress and stood on my trembling feet. I walked down the dark marble staircase. The eerie atmosphere did nothing to soothe my heightened nerves. I somehow knew what was coming but simultaneously didn't understand what was happening.

I slipped softly onto the cold floor; I hoped I wouldn't be feeling a lot more of it today, but my reassurance was dulled. I followed regular procedures and stood directly behind, mentally and physically prepared myself for what I knew was definitely going to come. I dreaded it, but I accepted it. 

I clutched tightly on what little innocence I uncovered as I awaited the first blow.

And it came. 

It came with all it's inflictions.

And despite all, I was still unprepared. 

**०◯०◯०◯०◯०◯०**

I limped up the slippery stairs as fast as I could. The hot sting of tears dripped down to my arm. The pain had subsided mostly, but the strain of the uphill climb made me relive the torturous conditions I was in a few mere minutes ago. That however, didn't mean the tears would stop, they flowed with the salt water, drifting down onto the hard floor. I stepped solemnly into my room, letting the door quietly click behind me. Through my hazy sobs, the clarity my mind relinquished returned. 

In what little sanity I had, I pulled the large trunk from under my bed. I threw open the oak doors of my wardrobe and began randomly pulling out whatever I could find that I wanted and tossing it carelessly into the open trunk. Clothes and robes flew over my head, behind me, fro all directions into the suitcase. And then I heard it.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

"I'm coming in, Sirius." His voice was hushed as though he didn't want to be heard. He couldn't see me like this; my first thought. I hurriedly pushed the trunk off the other side of the head in time and pretended to be choosing an outfit. Regulus slumped into the room. He never visited me, so this was terribly out of the ordinary. I was curious as to what he wanted. 

"Yes?" I swallowed down hard hoping he didn't notice my trunk, packed with my feeble attempts at escaping his hell of a home. 

"I was going to call you down for dinner." With that single line, he left. Usually, I had the more formal invitation like a shout or scream, but I guess the devil spawn I knew had worn out her voice. 

But I wasn't worried worried about food right now. I stared at the toppled trunk on my floor. Regulus. I couldn't just leave him to suffer with the horrors that live within these walls. I couldn't abandon him to perish at the feet of my less-than-glorious ancestors. I couldn't confine him to the disgusting behaviour that was exercised in this haunted mansion. I couldn't leave him to die alone. 

So I dumped the trunk back into my almost empty cupboard.

And I went down for dinner.

**Word Count:- 7** **85**

_Love, Kale._


	42. ash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. Alice's Collage  
> This is my favourite one so far and I love it. The girl quite literally has purple hair so that's what the main picture is for.  
> The guitar was one that she actually bedazzled for her love for music.  
> The quote in my opinion is simply perfect to demonstrate what other people think she acts like with her always being drunk and reckless but as you will see, there is more to her.  
> The hearts -now I'm not really sure how far this is true, I only saw it in a movie but don't like people give other people hearts in high school when they ask them out to dances? I don't know- are to symbolise how legit everyone wants her, guys, girls and everyone else. So she has all those hearts.  
> The umbrellas are just there to fit her aesthetic and that is just so important obviously.  
> The alcohol is also there because according to everyone else thinks she is a stupid alcoholic.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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"So, what are you wearing?"

"Well, my oh-so-cordial kin took the liberty of shopping and getting me an unnecessarily and overly expensive wizard robes that follow the puke worthy colour scheme of a withering snake." Well, that's not hard to fix.

"Great, may I have the pleasure of charming it?"

"Of course not, don't take that away from me! What are you wearing?" He questioned innocently.

"Same, but they aren't so green." He smiled again, it was nice to know even through all of his hardships, he still found the warmth to find the ability to smile. "What about you Lily?" She turned around along with Peter and Remus to face us. Flitwick was on the other side of the room so he didn't notice.

"Oh, I went shopping with Petunia and I picked his really cute dress to go with th-"

"Okay, how nice! What about you Pete?" Sirius cut short what was surely going to be a long paragraph containing a detailed description of her entire outfit and I was not about that.

"My dad's wizard robes, but I'm sure ."

"And last but not least. Moony?"

"Well, I meant to wear my dad's robes too but he needed them for some useless Ministry meeting. So my mum bough a Muggle tux. Very elegant. Very unnecessary."

"Don't say that Re, we're all gonna have fun."

Cheesy as fuck.

**०◯०◯०◯०◯०◯०**

Professor Flitwick was rambling on about his oppressive childhood in Ireland, when he was supposed to be talking about some kind of Reduction Curse that none of us were ever going to use for as short a life we would live. 

On the bright side, his never-ending rambles were a perfect cover to waste the entire lesson with pointless conversation that I wouldn't remember. Not to mention, Sirius was still upset and equally horrified by the dance. The topic of discussion? His date. 

I tried to understand his reasoning for being forced to take a girl to the cotillion, but it seemed so weird to me as to why he didn't simply follow his heart and do what he wanted. Hogwarts was a place that he could actually do what he wanted without suffering the consequences of a near abusive parents. I couldn't imagine what he had to endure at tat house: the neglection, the starvation, I couldn't even imagine being forced to live under such torturous conditions.

I could barely even imagine his home life with something inside me dying. I could never even comprehend what it was like, especially considering my generous homing conditions. 

But I wasn't going to try and relate to him because I knew I couldn't.

Instead I only strayed from the taboo topic and avoided it at all costs. To compensate, I kept his mind on something a little more light-hearted but equally traumatising situation. 

"So, do you by any chance, for some remote reason, by an awkward coincidence, or unplanned accident have you found a date to the Winter Cotillion thing or something or whatever like you know." I gulped quite a lot through the sentence and steered clear of his amused gaze. He chuckled under his breath at the clumsiness imbed into my words. 

"Much to your future confusion, yes, I do in fact have a date." An unintended gasp came that seemed too dramatic for the circumstances but fitting nonetheless. 

"And you found it decent to keep this information from me?! How dare thou! I demand to know at once!" A perfectly dramatic means of lightening the mood. 

"Alice." Excuse who? "She was very nice about it too, apparently she wasn't going to go so were just going as friends. Easy." 

"But she's a girl." 

"No shit, Merlin." I drastically hushed my voice to accommodate being surrounded on all sides with students. "That's the point."

"But I thought you were going to go with, you know." A guy.

"And I told you I couldn't." 

"Hogwarts is one of the only places you could actually be yourself and go dance with who you fucking want to." 

"No, it's not!" Everyone turned their heads at the sudden intrusion which very unfortunately alerted Professor Flitwick of the irrelevance of his presence causing him to return to his lesson. Sirius received a few dirty stares but nothing more that the usual I would think. 

"What do you mean?" We sulkishly retreated to our small voices

"The Bitch has spies all over, can't risk anything. I went out with Amelia for like two days and she cr- burnt me at the stake just because she was a Muggleborn. It was painful- ly awkward." Wow, Walburga Black was insanely dedicated. I cannot believe that there existed people at Hogwarts who would conform to maniacally reporting back to _her_. What kind of self-obsessed person would do something like that. 

"So you're just gonna live the rest of your life unhappy? That's no excuse to suffer at the hands of your own fate." 

"That was almost poetic, where did that come from?" 

"Stop trying to change the topic." 

"Can we not talk about this right now, please." I sensed he was getting a little -just a little- fed up so I backed off and resumed my focus on the lesson while Sirius slumped in on himself like a pile of coal or ash. 

"The Reductor Curse. You may begin after you have mastered the wand movement and incantation." He drew a rough diagram on the board and traced his wand in the same pattern.

I swished my wand according to the chalk drawing on the board a few times in front of me wordlessly before finally muttering. "Reducto." And with that, the water goblet -that this school didn't seem to have a shortage of- was reduced to dust. 

**Word Count:-** **1141**

_Love, Kale._


	43. The New Normal, Part One

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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"Guys! I've lost Peter again." James was running around the dorm room frantically looking for Peter again but honestly, I didn't think he'd show up until seconds before we walked into the Great Hall because that's just Peter. I also guarantee that even though no one would see him change, he would show up in his Muggle robes already bathed and clothed and all that jazz. Remus was hogging the bathroom trying to get ready even though he was one of those people who would look amazing no matter what they did or wore. I hated those people, or that's what I told everyone, I actually really fucking envied them. I am obviously actually joking, I was the best example of one of those people. I always looked stunning.

James however, was not one of those people and he literally had _one_ naturally ready feature: his amazing bed-hair look. I wasn't jealous of that though considering well, I had the best hair north of everything but my perfection took effort and care, and by care I mean real care, not using a cheap knock-off shampoo! His Dad quite literally invented one of the most renowned hair products in the world, not to mention he was rich; buying a shampoo would cost him nothing! Ugh, mental rants make my head hurt.

"Just scream about free food, I'm sure he'll turn up somewhere." My hair was looking like a canyon right now so I shouted out while frantically moisturising in the only mirror in the room. "Does he have a date by the way, asking because I wanna feel worse about about myself!" I didn't even know what quiet sounded like at this point, I'm sure I went deaf in at least one ear today. James was going stag so if anyone he would be the one who felt like owl crap. I mean at least I had Alice so I could have one night in a while without any drama and self-conflict while spending time with people I genuinely cared about. I just want to feel normal. Like I have a normal like and a normal family in a normal school. Normal.

"Yeah, I think he's going with Mary." James ad calmed himself and was dabbing the sweat off his forehead.

"MacDonald? I thought she was going with Frank after some complications?" Don't wanna give myself another headache with all the gossip details.

"What?! No, he hates her, the entire Quidditch team does, he's going with someone worse actually I heard, but I think it's a stupid rumour." Frank was one of the most popular guys in school, playing Quidditch and all. Not to mention he is loved by all the thirsty hoes in our school putting him pretty high in the social, stereotypical food chain. "Little Miss Daughter of the Devil herself." Excuse you!

"AMELIA?!" James used that nickname for one person and one person immediately. "She is the farthest person from Frank's type -emotionally- how on Earth did he agree to go with her?" There was no way.

"That's why I think it's a dirty rumour. There's no way." Absolutely not. Frank may actually be the most wholesome and most innocent thing I have ever seen which is hard to believe that he hasn't been corrupted because again, he is _REALLY_ hot, capitals and italics, that's how hot he is! But anyway, I still gotta worry about myself. I mean obviously I would have looked great even if I left like an hour ago, but this was everything and great wasn't going to cut it. Adjectives I need to hear include are immaculate, stunning, flawless, breathtaking, perplexing and stupendous to say the least. It would be amazing if I got all of them though. "Anyway ready to go?" He turned around the same time I did and smiled approvingly. He was wearing the typical wizard attire coloured the generic black and pale, eggshell white. He looked amazing, or he would if it wasn't for the obscene amounts of sweat excreting from his everywhere.

"Yes, but you clearly aren't, you're huffing and sweating. Chill out, Peter is fine! Scourgify." All the wetness and unnecessary moisture soaked up and he looked decent again. Thank God. We walked toward the exit, but not before glancing one last time at the mirror. Alice had obviously chosen to go with a purple dress of some sort so I though I'd charm my robes to match hers instead of the usual, retaliative Gryffindor scheme. I also wore typical wizard robes except mine were brand new and bore the watermarks of an expensive clothing franchise. Of course as usual however, I had forgotten something or in this case, someone. "Oh shit, REMUS WE'RE LEAVING! HURRY UP!" I shouted across he room and through the bathroom door.

"YOU GUYS GO AHEAD, I'LL MEET YOU THERE!" I am inclined to wait but Alice would also be waiting for me so by being late, I'm being incredibly rude.

"Ok, bye." I muttered as we left, barely audible enough to reach him. My feeling for him were still complex and changing, but I swore myself a drama free night so none of that tonight. We were soon through the portrait and descending peacefully down the marble staircase. We hadn't yet seen the Great Hall yet obviously and I hate to admit it but I was excited for this. It was the first social event the school had held in years and I was glad it happened before I had to leave. Nay, was forced to leave Hogwarts, simultaneously abandoning my innocence and freedom. But, yay life I guess. Ah, when you can feel the sarcasm in a sentence even though you're saying it to yourself in your head. Wait, am I insane? Well no, but that's okay, I've already surpassed normal, sane wasn't far ahead.

"Hey guys!" Peter was found stood at the base of the stairs staring into the Hall with awe. That either means it looked amazing or Peter was impressed easily. I vote for the former. And my vote counted because as soon as I reached the bottom and peered longingly, my expectation seemed low as hell because they were hella exceeded. The benches had straight up disappeared and the corners of the room were instead decorated with dainty little tables draped in orange satin with cute yellow-leaf centrepieces and black chairs. The room clearly went with the typical autumn theme. The enchanted sky was a beautiful sunset colour and an endless stream of leaves fell and disappeared on loop. The firs were all lit and the undertones of Halloween were also a little dominant to my more experienced and decorative eye. Professor Dippet even came clothed with an orange feathered fedora. I didn't approve of it but I admired his confidence. I mean, he did run the school so I guess he didn't have to worry about being judged. Unlike the rest of us not normal folk.

I guess this would be enjoyable,

Or at the very least, okay.

And okay is wonderful.

**Word Count:- 118** **6**

_Love, Kale._


	44. The New Normal, Part Two.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

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Alice was truly a sight to behold with her near-scandalous and dangerously short, violet dress that hung perfectly on her strong shoulders, and what seemed to be rather expensive diamond earring that I was close to positive that she stole from her mother. The girl was muscular, which was expected considering all the bottles and cases she carried around. She somehow had a very unique personality trait where even though most of her drinks her non-alcoholic -I don't think many people knew that- she is still able to easily fool everyone with her gaiety and joy that people think is the influence of her intoxication but that's what's great about her: it's just that she is such a big optimist and finds the glee in every aspect of her life. And a lot of people don't know that side of her, their image of her is just reckless and irresponsible. A normal teenager, unlike me.

"You look beautiful." No words could begin to describe how pretty she looked but there was no way I wasn't going to compliment her all night long.

"You're just saying that because you want me to compliment you back." I smirked knowingly and the sarcastic retort.

"Though it would be a notable crime not to compliment _this_ outfit, I actually mean it, you look amazing. But don't shy from that compliment if it's absolutely necessary. PS, it is." She laughed this time and nodded while covering her face and muttering an ashamed 'thank you'. I chuckled at her diffidence, and patted my shoulder with another 'you look great, Sirius.' Perhaps that could mean that I looked normal.

"Why thank you, M'Lady. You're too kind, honestly. You didn't have to," She was used to my cocky behaviour even though she knew very well that it was a facade. We knew each other very well, though most wouldn't think so. Sure, we didn't spend all the time in the world together like me and James and she wasn't a newfound crush like Remus or an equally disturbing foodie like Peter, but we bonded and we still figured each other out soon enough so it didn't take long to become best friends. "Care to dance?""

"I thought you'd never ask, oh kind Sir." We made our way from the entrance to the centre of the dance floor where no one else stood. It was blatantly clear that everyone was scared to be judged on the dance floor but I have been judged enough to know that it's not worth wasting life at the fear of a bad remark or nasty comment and Alice was fearless so we were the perfect couple to lead the slow dances to match the sullen music playing. As soon as we stumbled onto the centre of the tile, the tension of the room was immediately shed as the density of the air relaxed.

This intensity however returned the second a smart-ass Dumbledore led a blushing Minnie McG to the dance floor and began laughing their way into a waltz. Thankfully this wasn't a deal breaker for some and as date after date piled onto the floor, the middle of the room was loosely packed with swaying carelessly students without a damn given, it was cool to think that we started that, I mean, we _are_ pretty awesome so I'm not _that_ surprised. 

We just swayed slowly and to the beat thumping through our veins. It wasn't wild or crazy dancing with sweaty bodies pressed against each other but I was content and I was having fun. And that is exactly what mattered.

I was having a great time.

And I looked amazing.

And I was the centre of attention(sort of).

What could possibly go wrong, right?

Well, how about the one person who could single handedly flip my night upside down walked into that room wielding the confidence of a crashing wave.

Remus Lupin walked into that room presumably wearing Muggle robes. They were a plain black and white themed with a blue bowtie but it looked neat and sleek as fuck and I was all about that appeal. The soft fabric ran wonderfully down his sturdy legs and hugged his fit arms tightly. They were a size too small and it may have been a little uncomfortable for him but it was wayyy more comfortable for me. He was hand-in-hand with Lily who wore a dress undeniably similar to his tie. Everyone seemed to be obsessed with colour coding these days and I was a victim of the fading fad. But Remus, he pulled it off -he could pull anything off- marvelously. God, he was so fucking hot! A normal thing to say about someone.

"You should tell him." I was snapped out of sheer blissful thinking by the sharp and distinguished voice of an amused Alice Fortescue eying me with a curious smile. Her sentence came out of nowhere and through silent conversation. Translation: I was confused. Af.

"Excuse me?"

"Remus, I mean." She was thinking about Remus too, I mean I don't blame her. For obvious reasons. "You should tell him you like him. I mean, you ain't fooling me and I'm sure you ain't fooling him, he's smart enough to have figured it out." My mouth hung open in I don't even know what because how on Earth? I would've usually freaked out to the point where I gave myself a very real injury to get out of this sticky situation but it was Alice, and I trusted her. So I just threw a silent temper tantrum. Like a mature adult. "Just go to him, this is the night to be reckless and adventurous." She clearly wasn't standing for my shit.

"I'm always reckless and adventurous." I had a very valid point because I am a valid person.

"Well even more reckless and adventurous and stupid enough to take a risk and actually admit whatever you want to him." Wait.

"Okay stop, how did you just guess that I like Remus?"

"You were staring at him for a good thirty seconds, honestly I'm surprised the entire year didn't figure it out by now." Still though.

"So you saw me looking at one of my well-known best friends for a little longer than usual and you just assumed I have been lying about sexuality for six years and then went on to conclude that I am in love with my best friend? Bit of a far stretch, don't you think?" We had returned to random saying so as not to pique suspicion or anything that's not normal. Like me.

"Maybe but was I wrong?" 

"Touché." Darn it.

"But honestly, I had no idea you were love so thank you for making me the first person you told, I'm honoured. Even though you didn't tell me and I'm just that smart."

"Actually I told James. Not about Remus though." 

"I figured. Go on up to him." No.

"What will you do, you're still my date, I'm not going to leave you." She responded with another laugh and a small 'just go before it's too late' before pushing me playfully into the crowd. Remus and Lily were slow dancing while James watched longingly. And thankfully no one noticed my estrangement from Alice -who walked over to the punch table- or my confused looking through the throng. I weaved -rather gracefully if I do say so myself- through the dancing students until I finally spotted Lily's dress and walked over to her laughing over Remus who was looking down at her. I held my breath and walked over to the oblivious friends and poked Lily's back anxiously.

"Oh hey Sirius, are you okay?" She looked elated as she turned around to see me with a nervous expression on my otherwise vain face. Remus was also looking at me with another unrecognisable expression that I wouldn't decipher right now, I just knew if I over thought this, I wouldn't do it, and I knew I would have to lie and embarrass myself and forever wonder what could've been.

"Yeah, I was just wondering if I could borrow Remus for literally two seconds please." Remus' ears visibly peaked up at the request and he took his hands out of his pocket, bearing a similar worried expression.

"Oh, sure." I didn't think for another second. My brain went numb, I just walked past Lily and straight toward Remus. I gulped loudly and didn't stop when I breached his personal space.

Without a word, I pulled him down by his collar.

And I kissed the fuck out of Remus Lupin in the middle of the Great Hall in front of hundreds of students.

And I had no regrets.

Yeah maybe I wasn't normal, but who the fuck cares?! Why do _they_ get to decide who's normal. If everyone around me is normal, then I don't want to be that kind of normal. I wanna be myself, and I'm going to be myself. I may be just like any other kid but I was unique. 

I was a new kind of normal.

The new normal that kissed hot boys in the middle of the entire school.

**Word Count:- 15** **40**

_Love, Kale._


	45. Panic! At The Ball.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

__

The sensation was one that was highly unfamiliar and foreign. And I loved it. His smooth lips moved in perfect sync with mine. His hands took their rightful place at the back of my neck. He knew me well enough to not mess my hair up, that's love. After Lily's immediate gasp that I couldn't find the need to care about, we continued kissing in blissful silence before they hastily returned to interrupt my ecstasy. Gasp after gasp was elicited around my mini heaven. I still hadn't taken my lips off his and I wasn't planning to. Unfortunately though, the anatomy of the human body didn't allow me to breathe while making out. Hell with the guy who invented the human body. I mean I loved mine but still! So due to the little bitch that is respiration, I pulled away with a quivering lip and took a deep breath, not taking my eyes off his for even a second, but he wasn't having any of it and pulled me into a sequel. And by Merlin, it was just as heavenly as the first, if not better. With each second, we grew needier and impatient. I would've undressed then and there if I wasn't so sure McGonagall would curse me six ways to Sunday. 

What felt like decades, which was still way too short for me, finally ended and we were forced to stop traumatising the closeted homophobes for life. 

And then it got a little, _just a little_ , super weird.

Because what do you do after that?

What happens after the climax has been climaxed?

What happens after the big ending has already ended and you're left standing awkwardly in the middle of the crowd of the most judgemental people ever to walk the face of the Earth: a high schooler. Not to mention I was caught in the act and that act was a make out session between two guys. Not an ideal situation, for either of us. What on Earth are they thinking, are they judging us?

"What now. Any ideas?"

"Not a clue. You?"

"I mean the obvious option is run?"

"Darn it, I really hate running." I chuckled at the suspense, recalling all the stories he told me off his exercise routine and the horrors it brought. That's when I realised nothing fucking mattered right now. I didn't care how tonight would end up: embarrassment or some other bad things that I'm too nervous to think about right now. Back to the point. It wouldn't matter what the outcome would be because at the end of the day, I would have Remus, James, Peter, Lily, Alice and everyone else I cared about so it didn't matter what anyone else thought or did because fuck them. Like honestly. "But we might need to leave before McGonagall gives us detention for PDA, so we should like definitely leave now because she is most definitely walking toward us right now. 

"I mean I wouldn't mind spending a night with McG if you don't?"

"So you wouldn't mind getting caught? Wow, I guess I'm rubbing off on you." He smirked at me after I commented on the situation.

"Stop acting innocent, you are just as bad as the rest of us, Mister Goody Two-Shoes." I retorted clumsily. "But I'd love to rub off on you." He raised his eyebrows at the intended sexual phrase. I really hope he liked it, because it was fully the truth.

"Astronomy Tower?" 

"Hell yes."

**Word Count:- 5** **87**

_Love, Kale._


	46. PAYback DAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. McGonagall's Collage  
> I would expect that you ready understand the picture of McGonagall in your face.  
> And I hope you also understand the cat which is her animagus form.  
> There is also another cat.  
> The books are to show her scholar proficiency throughout the expansion of the universe.  
> The teacup is to show her properness and delicacy in a badass way.  
> The Gryffindor uniform is to demonstrate how she could be seen as the epitome of Gryffindor and it's traits.

**Chapter Aesthetic/Character Image:**

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_~LET'S GO~_

__

"Did that just happen or am I dreaming? Because this is definitely a dream I've had before and I really need to know." James had come up behind me as I stared at the entrance of the Great Hall where Remus and Sirius had run through just a few minutes. The room still hung in the awed tension that wasn't going away any time soon clearly. He spoke trying to lighten the mood between the two of us with his goofiness and light-hearted one liners. Or that's at least what he wanted me to think and the obvious option, but I knew better, way better. His ulterior motives may have fooled the average person but he wasn't going to pull a fast one on _the_ Lily Evans. 

"Are you trying to hit on me?" I got straight to the point and I wasn't going back. If I ever felt regret or remorse for what I did, I would be the only one to know it.

"No, I was talking about the fact that two of our best friends just made out in front of the entire school year." Did I now regret the fact that I was being an arsehole and making everything about me when it was blatantly clear that he was still shaken up after what was the most surprising and traumatising thing he's experienced in a long time. Was I going to admit it? No, of course not, why would I?

"Right of course, it must have been worse for you because I bet you didn't know that Remus has had a six-year crush on Sirius so it must have obviously scarred you." Damn my superior complex which I hated but it was okay because I actually am superior than most people I know so it was okay.

"Well actually I win the bet because I knew both Remus and Sirius were gay so I'm really sorry that your immediate response to the favourable circumstance that involves the newly-found confession was that your reflexive reaction which was to be awkwardly unerring and now I've basically just done something that you didn't think would happen with me, I won a bet against you." Speechless. I hate to say it, but I am speechless. Mostly because he was right. Again, I would just passive aggressively avoid the topic at all costs. Like a mature adult. Duh.

"What do you want." Strategy: not actually admit I did anything and just pay him back. Usually when people say 'bet' they usually declare their price before but we don't do that because we're stupid and now, he could quite literally ask me to kill someone, but I hope he doesn't. "Hurry, let's get this over with." I didn't like being in debt, especially not to James. That could be a very dangerous game that I didn't want to play.

"Dance with me?" Okay full disclosure, that was kind of cute. His voice was hopeful and extremely innocent and I hate to say it, cute. I chuckled slightly and nodded at his puppy-dog eyes. Most couples had gone back to minding their own fucking business so we blended in and began dancing. His hand slowly crept lower and lower until it rested on the comfortable crook of my hip and clasping my palm gently. His hand was a little clammy but I ignored it and decided to just enjoy the moment. The beat picked up a little and along with it, the footwork. James was -though I hate to admit a far better dancer than me. He was taught very young, and me being the stubborn little monster that I am, refused to learn the _intricacies of the art of dance_ -as my father called it- so I just went along with whatever he was doing. It worked. For the most part, until the beat picked up and I had to go faster. That's when the facade dropped. "You are a very good dancer."

"No I'm not, you don't have to say that. I have no idea what I'm doing." He giggled shyly and then looked down. 

"I'll teach you." He held my hand tighter and I felt his grip get less slippery and he began to guide my movements. "Follow my lead. Back, left..." And the rest was just two people having fun.

But, life hates me so curveball.

A curveball by the familiar name or Severus Snape.

"Yo back off, she doesn't wanna dance with you." He came abruptly from behind me, disrupting the entire hall with his amplified tone. McGonagall had already began striding up but stopped on her way to break up what wasn't yet a fight.

"Severus, go away." I harshly replied so he would get the hint or rather the straightforward, not subtle answer of me telling him to scat.

"Listen to Lily, Snape." I turned my head to smile at him in thanks for calling him by his actual name. Unfortunately the small gesture had set off his fuse and he burst, thrusting his fist forward to punch James. Before I reached my wand, the blow was struck and the impact taken. I heard the Professor's feet echoes resumed.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!" I felt the rage bubble within me while James recovered from the punch. But I wasn't going to wait, I was so pissed and he was going to know! I'M IN A RAGE!

"Woah calm down." He quieted down and retreated in a little fear.

"NO!" By this time, James had gotten back up and was ready to fight back. But Snape had the upper hand, James was still hurt and bleeding. But that didn't stop Severus' blood thirst for vengeance. And he went back for more. Nope, not this time!

I stepped in between them and out of pure fury, I simply punched in the general direction of his face, and my knuckles sounded through the room and was soon coated with the blood of my enemy.

That was going to take an hour in the hospital room; I do not wanna be in his shoes.

**Word Count:- 1** **105**

_Love, Kale_.


End file.
